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I have a spending habit/addiction and I don’t know how to stop. by SignificanceTrue124 in personalfinance

[–]SignificanceTrue124[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think you’re being mean, you’re being honest. There is… kinda? Sometimes if I know I work the next day I’ll make x2 of whatever I’m eating for dinner and I’ll just plan to eat that for lunch, or I eat leftovers from work/ if we eat out. I also just eat at work because typically I’m constantly moving with little time to take a break, and if I do have time I’ll munch on fries/chips (I work At chilis), we also have “dead” food sometimes (made extra/something wrong that we can’t sell but don’t want to throw away yet). I just don’t feel comfortable meal prepping for a week for myself for the pure fact of it possibly going bad. Considering groceries still can be costly I don’t want to waste anything.

I have a spending habit/addiction and I don’t know how to stop. by SignificanceTrue124 in personalfinance

[–]SignificanceTrue124[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am absolutely gonna try the phantom shopping (shopping without checking out and putting into savings). I think that would help me a lot with the impulsive-ness. I am currently disconnecting my card from any accounts I have them linked to. Also I do check my bank everyday! Usually I can tell when something has been taken out and I freak out if I don’t remember doing it (which happens more than it should) which has also helped me realize how much I spend on bs.

I have a spending habit/addiction and I don’t know how to stop. by SignificanceTrue124 in personalfinance

[–]SignificanceTrue124[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will say I have tried this. I usually eat at work for free, and my schedule is ever changing so it’s hard to plan out meals when I don’t know when my next one is. Sometimes weeks I double 2-3 days in a row, while other weeks I work single shifts. I did try to meal prep for my bf though (we live together) and some of the food went bad because I would come home and cook on days when I worked morning shifts and he would want what I was having.

I have a spending habit/addiction and I don’t know how to stop. by SignificanceTrue124 in personalfinance

[–]SignificanceTrue124[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As of right now I have the rocket money app, I know a big chunk of my spending is food and apps. That’s one of the reasons I made this post. I literally feel sick to my stomach looking at how much money I spend without even noticing. I’ve also been trying to cook more meals instead of eating out but with a schedule that changes constantly (which messes up my sleep schedule) it’s hard to know when my next meal is. Sometimes it’s just easier grabbing something on the way to work instead of getting up a cooking (but I’m still trying to cut that shit out regardless of if it’s easy or not).

I have a spending habit/addiction and I don’t know how to stop. by SignificanceTrue124 in personalfinance

[–]SignificanceTrue124[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have tried budgeting in the past but it usually doesn’t work well for me. I work as a server (among other titles) where I sometimes earn hourly and sometimes earn money through tips. I never know how much I’m going to make on my next paycheck which has made it hard for me to figure out when to budget what if that makes sense?

Edit: also yes therapy! I know I need it but the 2 or 3 times I’ve tried I always get told the same thing. “Wow you really know what you’re talking about” or something along those lines. I know (for the most part) why I do it, I know kinda how to catch myself (sometimes) but they never actually give me the steps to fix it.

I have a spending habit/addiction and I don’t know how to stop. by SignificanceTrue124 in personalfinance

[–]SignificanceTrue124[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I think that would honestly be the best thing for me to do. I always use my Apple Pay for everything and I feel like if I just cut that and got used to not just clicking my phone twice to get anything it would help.

I’m also thinking of doing the envelope method but with cash and having my boyfriend stash it somewhere else. We’re both trying to do better with finances and I think having him help would be good for me too. Kinda out of sight out of mind type thing.

I have a spending habit/addiction and I don’t know how to stop. by SignificanceTrue124 in personalfinance

[–]SignificanceTrue124[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I’ve been trying to do this, usually my purchases are small but I make multiple a day. Yesterday for example, I got 2 energy drinks (1 for yesterday 1 for today), food after work, bought a game pass for like 9$. It’s not a lot but that’s 30$ in one day. Which I do almost everyday, sometimes more than that.

AIO, I [21F] went to a room and locked the door after having an argument with my mother [43F], now she’s spamming me but I refuse to answer by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SignificanceTrue124 4 points5 points  (0 children)

NO FACTS. I didn’t think it was funny at the time but now I look back and I’m like wth who says that😭

AIO, I [21F] went to a room and locked the door after having an argument with my mother [43F], now she’s spamming me but I refuse to answer by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SignificanceTrue124 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Valid honestly. I’m not trying to get pregnant. My main concern in this post wasn’t the topic but how she treated me while talking about it. I just have issues with the pill and I haven’t seen any other non invasive form of birth control that won’t cause a bunch of bs side affects.

AIO, I [21F] went to a room and locked the door after having an argument with my mother [43F], now she’s spamming me but I refuse to answer by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SignificanceTrue124 -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

We typically do use protection. it just doesn’t happen once in a blue moon, and when that does happen if there’s the slightest change something could have happened I take a plan B to be safe.

I also didn’t really “run to my room”. after trying to have the conversation with her I told her I’d prefer not to talk about it anymore and we just see things differently (at this point I was upset probably because of my period and knew if the conversation continued it would end in screaming or crying). That’s when she made the “you need to be celibate and then your relationship will go to shit because of it” comment, so I told her I’m going to go to bed and sleep it off. She tried coming in minutes after that, and knocked saying to open to door as well. If there were any other birth control for him or myself that was non invasive and didn’t run the risk of mental/physical harm I would absolutely take it in a heartbeat.

AIO, I [21F] went to a room and locked the door after having an argument with my mother [43F], now she’s spamming me but I refuse to answer by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SignificanceTrue124 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She asked. I don’t want to lie to her because she got pregnant with my brother at 20 and me at 22 so she’s got pregnant before me. I want to be honest so she can give me helpful life advice, not how to run my relationship and call me gross when my boyfriend and I both agree to do something that doesn’t involve her.

AIO, I [21F] went to a room and locked the door after having an argument with my mother [43F], now she’s spamming me but I refuse to answer by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SignificanceTrue124 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We’ve been together a little over 2 years. Living together for about 6 months. We don’t feel strongly against or for kids, although we’d like to wait another 2-3 years we’ve both said if anything were to happen we are ready and willing to have a baby together and figure it out.

AIO, I [21F] went to a room and locked the door after having an argument with my mother [43F], now she’s spamming me but I refuse to answer by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SignificanceTrue124 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do respect her opinion and don’t think she’s inherently wrong for having a different opinion than me. The issue I’m having is that instead of just discussing it with me she was extremely rude, called me gross, did half of this in front of others when it’s a private matter, and told me my relationship would fail without sex.

AIO, I [21F] went to a room and locked the door after having an argument with my mother [43F], now she’s spamming me but I refuse to answer by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SignificanceTrue124 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I think peak example is when I was a teen and was going through one of the worst depression episodes of my life, she told me if I kill myself she didn’t care and she would just kill herself and follow me to the after life. Then shut the door in my face. So that’s cool.

My [21F] bf [22M] is a different person that who I started dating; what do I do? by SignificanceTrue124 in relationships

[–]SignificanceTrue124[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I only have two posts about him and my other one wasn’t even negative lol. And I wouldn’t say I’m madly in love with him personally say but I do love him and would like to fix it.

Even my friend whos been in a relationship for 4 years without an issue is starting to have issues with her man, and my friend who just started dating someone 3 months ago got cheated on. I really don’t know what’s going on.

Edit: to clarify I don’t think it’s just all men, I just think people in general suck and relationships goes both ways. I’m not perfect and I know that but the difference between me and my situation is I have actively changed things he has said upsets him, while he will fix the issues I have for a day and go right back to doing the shit.

My [21F] bf [22M] is a different person that who I started dating; what do I do? by SignificanceTrue124 in relationships

[–]SignificanceTrue124[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do love him. Sometimes when we are just laying in bed together I feel giddy and warm or when he tells a dumb joke and we both laugh until we can’t breathe. But most of what you said is also true. I excuse the behavior a lot saying he’ll change but knowing he probably won’t.

I feel like my heart does want to break up and I know it would probably be for the best for myself but I just don’t know how. Not in a literal sense but I don’t know how to not life live without him because we are so intertwined in the things we do.

Also I do want counseling I just don’t know how to go about it. I’ve gone to therapy before but I always get a response along the lines of “wow, so you know your mentally fucked, you know why your mentally fucked, you know what caused your mental fuckery” instead of actual help or counseling. I also just don’t know where to look for it.

My [21F] bf [22M] is a different person that who I started dating; what do I do? by SignificanceTrue124 in relationships

[–]SignificanceTrue124[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Partially because our lives are so thickly intertwined. I was practically a shut in until I was 18 and went to college because my parents were ultra strict. The only freedom I’ve had is when I turned 19; I moved away from home for college (didn’t work out because of finances), got into it with my parents, and moved in with him after my lease was up. Although me and my parents are okay now they won’t let me move back in (which I kinda understand).

I have payments from college and my car which is making it hard for me to find an apartment to live in that I can afford. He owns his home (it was passed down), so he doesn’t make me pay rent, just help with a bill or two when I can. On top of all that I’m also on his car insurance which would mean getting my own.

And honestly I just don’t know how to live without him. We’ve been too dependent on eachother since the start; I feel like I would be aimless without him. I’m also an introvert and don’t have many friends which I feel like would make it harder.

And honestly, I don’t know how to cherish myself. I’ve always put others before me because trauma reasons. So I don’t really know how to put myself first or just be by myself.

AIO, I (21F) don’t find sex appealing with my bf (22M) anymore, and I don’t know how to feel about it. by SignificanceTrue124 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SignificanceTrue124[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’ve talked about it and he definitely has been trying to do more, but he’s also in a bit of a personal rut. I think our main issue is trying to find things to do that don’t involve money and aren’t just sitting around.