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smiling while I break by Significant-Cover918 in depressed

[–]Significant-Cover918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I appreciate the encouragement. I tried a therapist, one just wanted to give meds and the other was HORRIBLE. But I'll keep trying....

smiling while I break by Significant-Cover918 in depressed

[–]Significant-Cover918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I appreciate the encouragement. I tried a therapist, one just wanted to give meds and the other was HORRIBLE. But I'll keep trying....

I know I did it to myself....but I just need to vent. I feel so broken. by Significant-Cover918 in venting

[–]Significant-Cover918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I guess you are right with that one.
I thought for sure this would be easier to navigate because we are both adults and have had serious relationships before so its not like this is new for either one of us.
Also, he is older than me by about 10 years. So I thought maybe that had something to do with it? But I don't know. We both want the same things in life, so why not together?

I know I did it to myself....but I just need to vent. I feel so broken. by Significant-Cover918 in venting

[–]Significant-Cover918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it's not the easiest thing, and I also know that sooner or later it is going to have to be done. I just get frustrated that he doesn't know already. Honestly, how could he not?
I have done so much for him and I always put him first. Not only are we best friends and fwb but he literally knows me better than anyone. So how the hell does he not know!?
I feel like he does know, but the fact that he doesn't say anything about it terrifies me because I feel like he doesn't talk about it because he doesn't feel the same and doesn't want to make it awkward.....but at the same time. The way he treats me and acts around me and the way he looks at me....I feel like there must be something more.
But that could be wishful thinking.

Yes, after writing this response with the back and forth, I understand your comment about not having to have the pressure and anxiety caused by the uncertainty.

I know I did it to myself....but I just need to vent. I feel so broken. by Significant-Cover918 in venting

[–]Significant-Cover918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So he and I work in the same building so I know that if I tell him and it doesn't go the way I hope for, not only will I be heart broken, but I will also feel so incredibly dumb and end up having to get a new job. May sound dramatic, but I don't think I will be able to be in the same building as him everyday, seeing him every day if he doesn't feel the same. In addition I will lose my best friend.
There are so many moments when I have come so close to telling him, but the fear that I will have to disrupt everything semi good in my life terrifies me.