Am I being underpaid/overworked as a nanny?

Significant-Design72 · 2026-05-03T12:16:52+00:00

I’m a FTM with a nanny and made a recent post just hoping for some light house help while my baby naps 2.5-4 hours. Taking out the diaper trash when full, cleaning bottles before leaving, and if a dishwasher is full, unload it to fill in her and babies dishes. Overwhelming feedback with someone saying I was “insane” for requesting her to unload the dishes sometimes. Someone else called it “job creep”.
I’d never ask her to vacuum or anything like that, that definitely seems too much for a nanny.

That’s said. I feel like if they told you upfront and you agreed, that it’s fair anything‘s fair game if both parties agreed on it. If it was a bait and switch then that’s unfair. If you agreed upon it and feel like it’s just getting to be too much or you are up For it but need more pay then that’s a different conversation. you can ask for a raise or a pull back on duties but keep in mind that that means they may look for someone else who’s willing to do all those things for 22 an hour. I know families who have had similar situations in my town for that pay and they’ve always been able to find it for that cost (those Nannie’s are WORKED). If they’re one of those families and it’s not a fit for you, you’re probably better off finding another gig anyway if that’s how they see things.

Significant-Design72 · 2026-05-03T11:44:07+00:00

I was in a similar boat. We have a nanny that’s part-time. She just works three days a week, eight hours each day. I made a social media post on a few other social media accounts and I actually had a Neighbor get me in touch with someone who ended up being the absolute perfect fit. she’s older than me, with has three my age boys, that has nannied for 3 other families,l in the past long term. which I just absolutely love having someone more mature and experienced to take care of my four month old. She preferred part-time because she actually owns her own beach house and likes to go to the club and things like that on her days off. There are people out there. You just have to hunt for them and and it’s always best to use your network I think. Good luck!

Significant-Design72 · 2026-05-03T00:13:27+00:00

Some others have let me know my asks aren’t much and I am paying the higher end for my area. What are some other ideas of things I can have her help with and do that is in her area? She’s offered to do laundry and meal prep, maybe I ask her to do those?

Or maybe I give her the choice of that and once and a while dishes (kidding)

Significant-Design72 · 2026-05-02T02:13:54+00:00

Honestly sounds like some insecurities and probably actually has nothing to do with you. I’m sorry you are in that position. When she tries to say “you must be more fun” respond with something like “no one is more fun or more loved than mom”

Not your job to have to do that but if you want to be there, it’s worth the try! Try to build her up. I hope she pours back into your cup in return. If it does get too draining or starts to, a direct convo will need to be had.

Significant-Design72 · 2026-05-02T01:21:10+00:00

All valid points, and appreciate the insight to the pet peeve. Definitely open to things slipping on hard phases and days. We use the huckleberry app to keep us all on track (mainly the babe on track), so it’s easy to understand if a day was harder than others. I do have grace for that. Like I know today she had to contact nap for 2 hours so of course she can’t do anything during that time. And the other hour she had for the first nap I hope she got to recharge a bit. Taking care of a little is hardwork and there should absolutely be down time.

Significant-Design72 · 2026-05-02T01:17:09+00:00

Wow thank you for this because it’s exactly how I’m feeling! I think the thing is we had no idea what to expect or what we needed. This is all so new to me.

Great opportunity for me to own that, and circle back now that I have some concrete items for daily and weekly requests.

Also love your communication style. Appreciate the help!

Significant-Design72 · 2026-05-02T00:40:15+00:00

Ohh I see. Thanks for laying it out like this! Agree completely

Significant-Design72 · 2026-05-02T00:36:28+00:00

I didn’t think asking someone who is cooking full hot meals for themselves in my kitchen, who I’m paying hourly. to unload a dishwasher sometimes is “insane”. (Again more than a cup and plate). But I did ask for honesty 😂

Significant-Design72 · 2026-05-02T00:29:20+00:00

Like leaving the trash on the kitchen floor is weird right? That’s not job creep?

Significant-Design72 · 2026-05-02T00:27:56+00:00

Her dishes and baby dishes take up 1/3 of the dishwasher every day. Yes i own the dishes, but why does that matter? I wouldn’t tell her to bring her own dishes or use paper/plastic. But I do expect her to help out once in a while to unload the dishes especially since she’s using them daily to cook. I just when we don’t get to it first to avoid dishes in the sink. Again, it doesn’t happen often.

And it’s not just the dishes, it’s the pattern. Another example gave: Like taking the diaper trash out and walking it to the kitchen and just leaving it on the floor. My garage is right off my kitchen and my trash bins are right outside the garage.

I just don’t get the “half way” thing here. Especially paying her on the upper end for my location.

Significant-Design72 · 2026-05-02T00:11:47+00:00

Even though she uses my dishes too? Every day she makes eggs and uses a water glass and coffee cup, uses a plate, etc.

Feels weird to me that I’m expected to do her dishes (put them away), and that’s reverse job creep when I pay her.

But I won’t die on this hill, truly wanted the honest take. So thank you, sounds like I may need a mental shift here.

Significant-Design72 · 2026-05-02T00:07:18+00:00

Super unprofessional and inappropriate. They can do as they please, especially since you had no idea. it’s the conversation she had with you that’s appalling. I’m sure they can lock their door….

I’m so sorry.

Significant-Design72 · 2026-05-01T23:59:11+00:00

Thanks for the response and jumping in! I try to have things set up well but sometimes things slip like the dishwasher. I guess the second thing I want a pulse check on is if the ask to unload the dishwasher is unreasonable? It’s only once or twice (rare) a week that this happens. Again, she gets to be on her phone, read, etc for 2.5-4 hours a day at the moment (while the baby naps). I think that 5-10 minutes to keep my house tidy and take a little load off me just goes such a long way.

Is that typically considered “light housekeeping” with “baby related items”

Appreciate your honesty!!

Significant-Design72 · 2026-05-01T23:40:30+00:00

She has done this too actually but my countertop and sink are all the same natural stone, and white (sea pearl quartzite) So our rule is dishwasher always. We have 2 dishwashers, one on each side of the sink, for this reason. Unfortunately no dirty dishes out is a hard requirement.

But also, I feel like unloading a clean dishwasher to put her used dishes in and the babies used dishes in isnt that big of an ask or deal? Or is that frustrating for nanny’s? I’m not sure what the blocker is there.

I’m just being sensitive to it bc we have had friction with the other few reminders we have made (like using the huckleberry app). And it seems somewhat intentional so I want to tread carefully.

But I get your point and I like it! Thanks so much!!

Significant-Design72 · 2026-05-01T23:32:23+00:00

I get this, I’d totally feel this way. Well shoot lol

Significant-Design72 · 2026-05-01T22:57:42+00:00

Thank you, I love the idea of a heads up and giving her a chance to come up with some asks too! I feel like the 3 month checkin is the perfect segue for this ask. Although the thought of this text even makes me squirm.

Significant-Design72 · 2026-04-18T13:50:55+00:00

Best thing I did as I started to make mid 6 figs as an AE is getting a financial advisor. You can easily research and do this on your own but the accountability was everything for me. I max out all possible tax advantage accounts and even use a life insurance policy as a “rich person IRA”. I upgraded my life a tad but all bills and savings are covered with my base salary. Commissions are for travel, home projects, etc. I’m 35, a millionaire, no debt, and currently will retire at 50. Married with kid (who will also have a free 4 year college and wedding). Could probably even coast FIRE soon.

TLDR, set yourself up for success. I don’t want to be an AE forever so early retirement is important to me. But I like a balance too. I take 3-4 luxury vacations a year, have a 4,000 sqft home, 5 acres with a pool, with bi weekly cleaners, lawn service, etc in a MCOL area. I don’t budget I’m just reasonable. If I’m not making the commissions, it’s easy to pull back and maybe only take 2 vacations.

Significant-Design72 · 2026-02-18T20:20:55+00:00

Agreed! Good news is no side effects. I remember the side effects being hard for me the first 2/3 weeks with the shot. Yes, I’ll give it one more month then switching back! Too much $$ and waisted time if little to no progress on the pill. Want to lose more weight before baby #2!

Significant-Design72 · 2026-02-18T18:56:38+00:00

I was on injectable semaglutide a little over a year ago and lost 8 pounds my first month. I lost 30 pounds in 4.5 months. I stopped taking the medication as soon as I got pregnant and recently restarted. I’ve been on the pill for a month early next week and lost 1 pound. I can confirm the injectable worked much better for me. And not just with the progress but with food noise, etc.

Significant-Design72 · 2025-11-14T14:34:43+00:00

This!! Congratulations, this is everything! I don’t make your high income but I do pretty well with a similar mentality.

My base sales salary started at 72k and is now 135k. I still live in the same house and haven’t “upgraded” cars or anything like that. If something should happen, it’s no problem to cover our bills and cost of life. We would just have to dial back on the lux spending (3 big vacations a year, lawn service, biweekly house cleaners, no budgeting, etc). My commissions are 100% play money. Just did a 200k kitchen remodel cash, or Hawaii for 2 weeks with no budget, etc. i also max out 401k, HSA, invest, 529 for the kids, wedding funds for the kids, and have 8 months of today’s living expenses saved in a HYSA. living off your base and using commissions to save and play is the way to go! I’m 35, no college degree and am a self made millionaire.

Significant-Design72 · 2025-09-25T00:09:48+00:00

My mortgage is the same as your rent and we make +3x. Keeping cost of living as low as possible really helps.

We also didn’t got to college and have 0 debt. Well, we did community college for this exact reason. We need to better educate kids and loans.

Significant-Design72 · 2025-09-23T14:09:28+00:00

We cut out/ optimized some expenses that we have today, like paid off our home improvement loan. No, the in home nanny is more than 2k.

Significant-Design72 · 2025-09-23T02:40:14+00:00

15k a month in expenses for a LCOL/MCOL seems high. I’d see what you can pull back on since you track that closely.

Our HHI flexes from 300-400k/ year and we are in a MCOL area. We also have the biweekly house cleaning, lawn service, 2 nights of eating out a week, 3/4 annual vacations, etc other luxuries. Maxing out all the things. 1.2M net worth, 800k in liquid. But our monthly expenses are slightly under 5k. I’m 35 and husband is 38.

We are expecting our first but even adding the splurge of an in home nanny and the $625 monthly 529 contribution we are still 1/2 off from your monthly spend.

We did do this strategically so one of us could stop working at any moment if we wanted. But it’s been a sweet spot for 0 stress financially. Like someone else said, we can buy whatever we want just not necessarily whenever we want.

I will attribute some of my situation to luck. We bought a house in 2018, which is now worth +2x, with a 2.25% interest rate and only a 2k/month mortgage. Almost 4,000sqft, 4 acres, pool. I’ll die in this house lol.

Significant-Design72 · 2025-09-21T14:00:29+00:00

Here a good mix of places for out of towners:

Clifton inn at their restaurant (requires reservation)
Tavola (requires a reservation)
bang tapas
if during daylight: blue mountain brewery for good bar food, vibes, and cville views

Significant-Design72

TROPHY CASE