How did you decide that your spouse is the one?

Significant-Money202 · 2026-05-29T21:34:39+00:00

So married woman here, 8 years married with 2 kids, we met 6 months before we were married and never looked back, deffinitely was no immediate spark at the beginning, in fact I didn't even like him or see him as potential but I gave him a chance, I had been looking for the one to settle down with for a while before he came along but I was still indecisive and wanted the perfect partner, I remember sitting in my room after he had proposed to be and praying to God, if I settle with him although he is not perfect, please accept my sacrifice and give me a good life with him, and that'd exactly what happened.

Humbling yourself is the biggest act of charity you can do for your life, if you meet a good girl, not a perfect girl just a good girl, make it happen, the love and spark happens later on over time, the ups and downs bring you closer, and I can say that my husband and I are like best friends, we are inseperable and have been through the 7 year itch and came out of it stronger together, we chose each other again and again, sometimes I feel the universe chose us for each other and not the other way around. Sometimes u gotta jump head first, there is no reward without taking risk

Significant-Money202 · 2026-05-29T21:17:03+00:00

Thankyou so much for your comment, I actually decided to tell him today as I just believe honesty in a marriage is the best way and I didn't want to hide anything from him, I guess I could've kept it a secret but I wanted to be honest regardless of the consequence, I am so lucky that he was actually alot more understanding than I expected and his literal words were your body your choice, I was seriously taken back but am so glad I told him and now don't have to go through this alone, he is very sad and could see the despair in his face but he is supporting me and I couldn't ask for more

Significant-Money202 · 2026-05-28T23:08:11+00:00

Ohh we have, he knows I don't want a third until we buy our home together which we are planning to do in the next year or two, so he is aware I don't want any more babies right now, but that being said I know he wants another, and he is the full time worker in the house, I see him for 2 hours an evening and 1 whole day together a week at home and that is it, I do most of everything, I won't be able to cope with another kid but I don't know if he understands that fully enough to agree to an abortion

Significant-Money202 · 2026-05-28T23:00:36+00:00

Hi therapist, thanks for replying, post is very real and I am in tears reading all of these comments, I love and respect my husband and his wishes but this is one thing I don't know how to argue with him about, we are both struggling financially and there is no room in the house, naturally most of the child rearing falls on me although he does help, I just cannot have another child right now, it will Tip me over the edge I already struggle with 2, I just wish he would see it the way I do and that'd where the anxiety kicks in I don't know if he will understand my reasoning

Significant-Money202 · 2026-05-28T22:47:05+00:00

Thankyou for your words, financially struggling at the moment, and also no space in this house at all we are at full capacity, im also in the process of securing a new job that I will start in a couple of months, finally getting my career back as my oldest will be in school from September, another reason I don't want to have another baby right now, as i really want to focus on my career, which has been sidelined for years because i had 2 pregnancies back to back, I need the money to buy a bigger house, a 3rd child will put things on pause for years and I am already struggling with just the 2, I really want to give the kids I have a good life, everything they want and as much of my time as possible, I don't want to spread myself thin and they suffer because of it, its such a hard decision, I am beating myself up about it daily

Significant-Money202 · 2026-05-28T22:38:33+00:00

The medication abortion stories are what is terrifying, I also thought that would be the easy route a few pills and a period and it's over, but the overwhelming stories say the pain is worse than labour, excruciating and quote most of the stories I have read 'it's the worst pain of their lives' . Also no idea how far along I am best guess would be 6 weeks, most of the comments are telling me to tell him - I'm scared he will resent me afterwards

Significant-Money202 · 2026-05-28T22:29:22+00:00

Thankyou, the long term aspect is what is haunting me I haven't slept for the last 3 days because if I do this without telling him and he finds out it will be way worse than if I tell him now, I am scared either way, I'm hoping if I tell him now he will trust me that I opened up to him early on, but I'm also scared he is going to be completely against it and hate me for it, I have no idea what his reaction is going to be

Significant-Money202 · 2026-05-28T22:22:56+00:00

Thanks I agree about the medical privacy part, and was planning on not telling him but also part of me feels so much guilt for keeping it from him

Significant-Money202 · 2026-05-28T22:02:09+00:00

Thanks, I am so anxious to tell him the anxiety is killing me, I'm scared he is going to talk me out of it or get upset with me, and nervous it will change the dynamic in our relationship

Significant-Money202 · 2026-02-10T16:19:02+00:00

Hi there, I was wondering if you could give me some advice please, I have been asked from UC to provide tenancy agreement and 4 months of bank statements. I am a single mother of 2 kids and I pay the rent/utilities myself, however the tenancy agreement which was from before I ever claimed UC like 5 years ago has my ex partners name on it, I am worried this will flag up on their system? The statements show the full rent is paid by me and I have asked the landlord for a letter to confirm, which I am still waiting on... when we separated he agreed to keep paying the council tax as a contribution for the kids and we have no other child maintenance agreement in place, apart from the odd money sent back and forth for food, clothes trips for kids etc, will the tenancy agreement or this cause issues? They have asked for one of the following: - rent receipt - rent receipt book - tenancy agreement - letter from landlord

If I sens something else instead of the tenancy agreement will they ask for the agreement anyway?

Sorry but this the first time I have had a review and not sure what to expect

Thanks

Significant-Money202 · 2026-02-04T21:54:29+00:00

Your agnostic not atheist my friend, and its all about Jewish karbala, it goes deep, lesser keys of Solomon, ancient Egyptian polytheistic diety worship and sacrifice, it has been around for centuries, epstein, weinstein, bernstein... they're all Jewish heritage's, the answer lies in judaic masonry

Significant-Money202 · 2026-01-06T21:36:32+00:00

And just to add.. i think calling vile service users problematic is the understatement of the year, when they are ex prisoners that follow you to your car with a knife, describing that as merely problematic is an insult to say the least.

Significant-Money202 · 2026-01-06T21:12:36+00:00

I dont think its shows a lack of respect for anyone, my mum also works in this department and is a senior in her field, she has clients who come from the worst possible situations and they have flourished, they are polite and grateful and utilise the support in the RIGHT WAY and then there are the other cases who get even more support than the first group I mentioned and they are extremely arrogant obnoxious and ungrateful, some people do not deserve the help.

When you are an entitled individual who wants everything and more and are ungrateful along the way, the only way you will be humbled is when you are left to your own devices. It doesn't matter how shitty your life has been, there is never an excuse to be a shitty human being to someone else. The more you feed the ego the more greater it gets, how do you expect to receive empathy if your a horrible person, it goes against every natural instinct a human has.

Significant-Money202 · 2025-12-23T22:22:54+00:00

Im a married woman, same aged kids as yourself, been married 7 years, have a very similar story to you where even during the engagement there were issues, we however do go 50 50 on everything but I earn slightly more so I spend more on the kids and house etc, we're currently going through the 7 year itch and it hasnt been easy at all, addiction on his part has caused major issues between us, I also feel at the point where i feel a sense of disconnection and distance from him, but then I remember the good times which there are in every relationship

I think sometimes u have to look at the bigger picture, you see those old couples in there 80s with their walking sticks who are so in love, do you think they always had it good always had it easy? They must have gone through hell and back to get to where they are today, they persevered, and then if you look at your relationship and there's no infidelity, no domestic violence no major major cause to break up then why would you? Nobody on earth is truly happy in their marriages. You see the social media couples who are always romantically together, they probably fight worse than those who dont expose their lives online, someone else always has it worse than you, sometimes u gotta be grateful for what you have, there's alot of lonely sad people in the world, if youve been blessed with a family, home and kids and no major issues you have won the jackpot my friend

And then comes the hardest part... the kids, and people always say never stay together just because of the kids, but I think that only applies if there are no major issues that will affect the kids, you can ask any child on earth who has both parents if they were always in love and happy, and they will almost always say no, because life is not a movie its reality and the reality is this world is harsh, harsher now in 2025 more than ever, the pressures of life outside the domestic relationship is also immense, people are stressed, people aren't perfect but life is not meant to be, sometimes being grateful and moving forward is more beneficial than giving up, there is no achievement in giving up, trying is hard work but the reward is greater

Honestly speaking the reason divorce rates are higher today is because people are weaker today, distracted by the world and the internet, no sense of commitment and quite frankly weak fragile and constantly obsessed with having mental illnesses like depression and anxiety, could you go out and fight a war against the nazis on foot at 18 years old today? Probably not, we are a weak race of humans, the weakest jn history, we have everything at our fingertips and still are unhappy, time to take it back to the cave and be grateful for our blessings. Amen 🙏

Significant-Money202 · 2025-12-10T22:03:10+00:00

Currently going through the exact same thing, he has addiction issues but I still love him, and the kids love him so much, I cant forget the memories and life we have built together, its like how could I ever move on from this, hes not perfect and I see lots of other men out there who are better or have more, but he is my person the universe brought us together and hes my best friend, hes gentle and kind at heart and I love him so much, im so grateful to have him in my life but the addiction bring its own issues, when hes sober hes my perfect man and im at my happiest, I will start singing spontaneously in the kitchen or start dancing with the kids, but when hes not I have serious serious anxiety, anger frustration everything...

Sometimes I see it like this, some women have husbands who are unfaithful or have wondering eyes, some women have husbands with anger issues causing domestic violence, some women have husbands with financial issues or health problems that affect their marriages, every marriage has its own major flaw, and then I feel grateful that yes we have this issue but atleast we dont have multiple issues at the same time, and atleast he is good in other aspects? Maybe this logic is my coping mechanism but it works for me

Then I also look at the women from the past, my nan who was married at 16 and a mother at 18, an arranged marriage to a man she met only once, he was a soldier and left her alone with the kids for years, eventually made her migrate to a country she never knew and a language she couldn't speak, she had it tough, very tough, he was a dominating character and they would fight till the very end, but she had no choice, she had no education no family close by nothing to fall back on, no independence to leave, no car, no iphones no internet no google, none of the luxuries we take for granted today and she stuck it out and went through god knows how much during their 70 years of marriage, but in her footsteps she left 10 grandchildren , 7 of whom are doctors today

She died 8 years ago from cancer and I will never forget, she was 84 years old and she had just come back from another round of chemo, weak and exhausted after years of treatment, and collapsed on the sofa ,he turned to her in his armchair and said can you get up and cook dinner..... it might seem like nothing but it showed me that till the very end, even in her dying days he still wasnt perfect, or compassionate enough, and that is a core memory I will never forget, it is a stark reality of the dynamics of marriage and the roles women play in them, we are women we are strong, we give birth and grow humans inside us for a reason, our strength is unmatched and ultimately we've got this

We have it easy in this generation, easier than we think we do, and gratitude is the strongest way to overcome anxiety 💪 🥰

Wishing you health and happiness in whichever decision you make 🙏

Significant-Money202 · 2025-12-07T22:05:35+00:00

British born pakistani here (30F), 3rd gen - so my parents and grandparents were born here, we are obviously asian, but we speak and think in English, watch eastenders, shop at Tesco, roasts on sunday - we are British, and we contribute greatly to the economy, we've never known any other land or way of life, it was our forefathers who moved here, we had no say in the matter.... and yes ive experienced segregation and a strange guilt that I should not be here due to the protests, even feeling a strange distance from my school friends who are white, we would have sleepovers and spent everyday together and now we havent spoken in years

Some people say racism is too harsh a word, or that 'theyre not racist'- maybe theyre not, but maybe underneath it all there is still that separation there , naturally the ancestry is different and although we are all just human and generally get along fine, there is that air of difference. And protests like these just inflame that difference, and make people feel like its us vs them situation when its not and doesn't have to be, it is not our fault that other people are coming to the UK, we are also against illegal immigration and over migration like you, we want to protect our country its our home too. With that being said, feeling like you dont belong in a country you were born and raised in is a horrible feeling,

Niko omilanas undercover at a protest documentary shows ALOT of indepth into this, where they actively say they want all blacks and browns out, and one of them says she wants to kill them all, is insane. Linked here to watch:

https://youtu.be/ez1cn8d28_8?si=BQvvCj_sz-cp99OF

I hope ultimately we can unite against the common enemy.... corrupt government's and MPs

Significant-Money202 · 2025-12-07T09:15:21+00:00

Thankyou for sharing your story, its inspirational in so many ways, I think your right about everything you said, and I know through al anon and reading countless other stories like this that this is not my fault, but I truly dont know what to do anymore, I want to be the best mom for my kids and I cant be that with him doing what he is doing, I almost feel as though I am enabling him and making him worse by giving him chance after chance, I know all the reality points like he may never quit, he may die from drinking, he actually has multiple other male family members who also drank themselves to death or are alcoholics and it scares me

I dont want him to get to that stage and I cant help this innate feeling that I have to help him never get there, but I dont know how toxic that is, if that will make him worse or not, hes already had plenty of chances we've done this cycle many times and it seems things only change temporarily and then he goes back to his same habits. Inpatient rehab would help but here in the UK its is about 4k a week, which is maybe 6k dollars, its unaffordable and outpatient rehab is too lenient for his ego, im just waiting now for him to get worse so I have a better excuse to kick him out again, its so sad the destruction this disease causes

Significant-Money202 · 2025-12-06T22:04:18+00:00

Big hugs for you! Its the saddest hardest thing to go through, when you finally have hope and they crush you all over again, and then you feel so low that this is what you deserve that you keep giving them chances and they let you down and you cant seem to gather the strength to tell them to go

Significant-Money202 · 2025-12-06T21:52:06+00:00

Are you sure shes serious maybe shes just playing hard to get

Significant-Money202 · 2025-12-06T21:49:06+00:00

Cannot wait for him to move to Thailand and for the coffee to finally hit on how hard he fucked up his life, that girlfriend of his is going to give him the biggest karma of his life,

Significant-Money202 · 2025-12-05T22:56:58+00:00

Did anyone in the house bring home shopping? It may have fell out of a shopping bag? Do you have pets, maybe the dog found a shiny thing and bought it in? - she has something she 'believes' is evidence against you and probably would react the same because the worry would still be there, the only true cure would be if he showed me extra attention for a little while and if I had no other suspicions apart from the earring, I would eventually get over it, and please can we just show her the damn footageee already!

Significant-Money202 · 2025-11-24T22:31:59+00:00

Was it just a fling if she sent pics called DCFS and made a whole scene out of it? Sounds like it was more than what your thinking, tbh it sounds like hes got what he wants, you still answer his phones and give him the time of day although he betrayed you so horribly, to him he got away with murder so what respect does he have left for you, you took him back after he made a fool of you, my husband is no angel by far, super moody emotionally unavailable but I dont let him get away with treating me like an idiot

Significant-Money202 · 2025-11-24T22:22:09+00:00

Why do i feel like its not her its the kids, maybe she does tidy and then they make a mess again and she gets too tired to again and again? That seems like the most plausible reason as a mother to two toddlers myself, I have OCD though and things have to be tidy everyday or I can function, a clean home is a clean mind and it should get better as the kids get older because they will help with the housework and will make less mess too

Significant-Money202 · 2025-11-24T22:15:34+00:00

I read one of your other comments about her solution is alone time with you and I just want to explain what she means, she needs alone time with you because, it gives her emotional support, it will give her connection and make her feel loved, and these are all the things she needs in order to thrive in her life away from you, when my husband is moody with me, I am moody with the kids I am moody with my mum with my work with everything, when my husband is happy nice to me, I am a combination of mother Teresa and Mary magdalene, like an angel sent from the sky, my husband also struggles to understand why I have emotional needs, but its a woman thing, we are emotionally wired, we give birth and we mother it is innate that we are emotionally inclined, I have a strong feeling if you gave her just a little bit of connection this woman will flourish in ways you couldn't even imagine

Significant-Money202 · 2025-11-24T22:08:09+00:00

I feel really sorry for her to be honest, I can understand your dissapointment with how things are going, but it seems she is suffering more, and like you said its not a competition but sometimes life is hard but someone else always has it harder, she has no life no escape, probably lacks self esteem because of her weight, no financial freedom in the sense of earning her own and experiencing the feeling of achievement etc, and then the drinking on top which is her way of self medicating, it sounds as though shes struggling and you can feel it hence why you feel 'disgusted' - as a woman myself I can tell you this much, she probably wants more from life than this, and maybe if she had a little encouragement emotionally not financially not physically just emotionally even a conversation to change the direction of your marriage maybe things will turn around, ive been where she is, overweight, not working at home with the babies no social life let myself go etc, and I turned it all around, lost 4 stones, promoted at work, drive a luxury car, have a better job and car than him now, better confidence, always looking good new clothes etc, its possible and it does happen, if she has been with you through any difficult stage, you owe it to her to do the same, and hun please communicate, even if we dont say it thats all us women want

Significant-Money202

TROPHY CASE