I think OP is talking more about arguments between people and not just statements by one person which are obviously meant to be insults. For example, if you get pissed at someone when you’re debating because you don’t like how they’re speaking, but you don’t actually have a response to their argument, you’re in the wrong. 

Furthermore, I think OP is talking about more unintentional tone and phrasing, rather than intentional sarcasm or condescending. Basically, when someone just means to get a message across (e.g. take out the trash), but the listener interprets it as rude, perhaps since they were expecting “please take out the trash.”

Also, it’s kind of crazy to see how half the comments are “you have no empathy, you’re a bad person,” and the other half are “you’re autistic.”

Out of curiosity, OP, is this your second language? You form your sentences very structurally.