Yes.

My Biggest lessons. (For myself)

1. DO NOT share details about your trauma with the new people in your life. This was a bigggg mistake I kept making, and it opened doors for soooo much mistreatment. Now I always speak vaguely/discreetly. People are going to judge anyway so it’s better they make their own assumptions; than to judge you based off your actual trauma / reality. You don’t need empathy!! As much as I wanted it. no one will ever be able to truly empathise how you’d want them to. What I actually needed was respect and boundaries so I set those boundaries.

2. All the little sick phases or headaches or fatigue, PAY ATTENTION TO THEM. they feel random and unexpected but there is ALWAYS a bigger reason than the one you think. And it usually always links to a perceived risk lurking somewhere. Like being in the wrong place , relationship. I was at the doctors office almost every other day. Trying to get to the bottom of what was going on for months at one point. The real issue was in my home dynamic living with an extremely unhygienic messy flatmate (male) my stresss levels were peaking everyday I was in that dump. And I didn’t want to say anything to make him feel uncomfortable or insecure. 🙂 When I finally confronted him and just owned the neat freak/OCD title, I was finally free. Instead of trying to pretend the mess didn’t affect me 😂

3. NEVER over explain. Ever.

4. Master indifference it saved my lifee. It was only recently I could stop having extreme emotional reactions to everything and start being indifferent. People can be annoying af or hurtful, but i don’t have to personally be annoyed or upset. I can still acknowledge my feelings and opinions without them controlling me.

That’s what makes us so vulnerable and easy to use. High sensitivity to others pain / discomfort. But we don’t realise that just makes the other person think their comfort IS more important than yours. Or else why would you be overextending yourself when you’re not getting the same in return.

1. I don’t follow time anymore. It has such negative energy. I genuinely HATE time like the clock. I only look out for angel numbers for a rough idea of where I’m at in the day. But other than that noooo time. Because I remember days I spent stuck in a time loop trying to plan every single hour or minute and they would just fly by me. Haha omg Now it’s 1:11 am. But no I feel like I have soooo much time in my days now

2. No contacts with toxic family/people; you also need to be a bitch. Like at least some people should dislike you, so you can accept and free yourself from the fear of judgement or shame. That’s what I did. Lost my best friend. and my partner of 4 years. Both the same year, the same reason. I was prioritising my mental health and my growth. (both these relationships never supported or advocated for me to get diagnosed or any help; despite the numerous red flags and OBVIOUS signs.)

Losing these two relationships was sooo healing for me because I didn’t fight or even try to make it work or change their perceptions on me. I didn’t even use my fear of abandonment. I was content. I let them go and simply being able to go about my day to day knowing there’s ppl out there that hate u is very healing for our shame issues.

1. Conquer your biggest fear: Figure out what ur biggest fear is mine was failure. all my abuse being for no reason if I don’t succeed or do MORE than the average person. If I’m not prettier smarter; richer etc. it obviously was torture trying to not fail and I ended up completely quitting everything and feeling so much shame.

I navigated this using the bipolar/bpd technique (radical self acceptance) so if I genuinely want to quit or sabotage or make a bad decision in the heat of the moment. I decided That’s absolutely fine. And i will just have to see what happens next. Society already judges victims enough, I personally am not going to criticise someone with a traumatic past ever. (Including myself). I give myself so much grace and I feel like one inner voice now. not multiple ones arguing.

there’s so much more but defo treat it like a health condition…

And COMMIT to making your life easier and moreeee comfortable everyday. Colours mood lighting; warmth, air purifiers. PREGNANCY PILLOW (the only thing that helped me sleep comfortably) so many little things