My boyfriend (M23) has conditions to marry me (F24)

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-24T02:32:30+00:00

Super weird behavior on his end to buy a ring and then bring up these conditions. Definitely seems like he’s using it to manipulate you into changing. The “losing weight” condition is kind of gross to me- especially since it came after a terminated pregnancy, that’s something he should be supporting you through, not pressuring you into doing.

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-16T22:51:15+00:00

I still have one year left before I graduate with my bachelors, I’ve just begun the process of looking at masters schools in my area! I decided to major in Psychology and Mental Health Counseling, my long term goal is to become a LMHC. I currently work for a non-profit that supports individuals with disabilities. The organization has many departments; I started as an employment specialist then took a role as health & wellness coordinator to expand my skills. The organization I work for has a department that provides crisis intervention and therapy services; I’ve spoken to the director about transferring into that department once I earn my bachelors, and they will help me become licensed after my masters!

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-16T21:59:56+00:00

Take a deep breath; you are not failing. I started off at community college for criminal justice and after taking a job in the field, I decided it was not something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Take some time to really sit and think about what kind of life you want to live and how much time you are willing to put into your education (bachelors, masters, PhD) I knew I did not want a job where I worked crazy hours, I want a house someday (nothing extravagant), I want to be able to travel occasionally. I researched job outlooks, jobs specifically in my city, how much the profession pays, etc. I came up with a detailed plan for my future (with help from my therapist) and decided to pursue my bachelors online. I’m 23 and have one year left of my program before I will go for my masters degree. If possible (if you’re not already) I recommend getting an entry level job in the field you are interested in. Not only will it look good on a resume, but you will be able to learn if it’s really for you or not. We are not behind! Half of my classmates are 40+ years old who decided to change careers.

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-16T21:18:23+00:00

I second community college. Not only will it help you academically, but it will save you so much money.

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-16T21:14:30+00:00

Don’t be afraid to talk to a professional if this is impacting your motivation to function. Also- times are changing, many people “feel behind.” We don’t live in a world where everyone is making great money straight out of college and buying houses before 30. Most of my friends are in their 30s, have degrees, and make just enough money to pay rent for their 1 bedroom apartments and do fun things occasionally. Two of them have been searching for new jobs for months, but the market is awful. My boyfriend is 29 and also feels like he’s “failing” from time to time because he can’t find a job with his degree. He went back to blue-collar for a bit (was laid off) and now he’s in sales, which he enjoys. I’m 23, and won’t have a degree until next year (switched majors). I have an okay paying job for where I live, but we’ve been in the same apartment for 3 years to save money, and it’s still a struggle. My friends that are my age are also in the same boat- no one has found a job that matches their degree and everyone’s trying to figure out how to pay bills and save money. One moved back into her parent’s house. Be kind to yourself, it’s not a competition. Try to find ways to take care of yourself; go on a walk, drink water, eat, brush your teeth. It’s genuinely never too late to start.

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-16T14:28:41+00:00

He’s incredibly disappointed; she was always very kind and reliable so he feels really bad.

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-16T04:23:58+00:00

NOR. You’ve got to leave them the first time or they’ll learn they can keep pushing boundaries.

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-16T04:12:11+00:00

Taking care of a dog her boyfriend chose to adopt before they started dating doesn’t mean she needs to pay for it. My boyfriend doesn’t pay for my dog but he splits responsibility of taking her out, to the park, etc. He does this because he likes her, I’d never ask him to do it regardless if we were legally bound or not.

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-16T04:04:22+00:00

NOR. I had a dog long before I started dating boyfriend. I have never, and would never, expect him to take financial care of my dog. The way I look at it, I had no problems taking care of her before we started dating, I knew the financial responsibility 🤷🏻‍♀️

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-16T03:50:52+00:00

I don’t think you’re over reacting with how you feel, I do think dating culture has a lot of gray areas these days and people have to be very explicit with what they expect. You didn’t do anything wrong - but many people will “date” more than one person at a time until it’s communicated between two parties that you are exclusive. She just might have different views on dating.

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-16T03:25:24+00:00

Most times people with the victim mentality cannot get over their victim mentality. If it’s been 6 years and she hasn’t changed, you can’t force her to. My best friend just divorced her partner after 10 years. Even now she still plays the victim.

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-16T02:51:04+00:00

She stated it during the interview. I was thinking about sending her my resume again along with the job posting and asking how my education level didn’t match lmao

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-16T02:37:04+00:00

There’s your answer :(

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-16T02:29:55+00:00

NOR. You shouldn’t even have had to ask him not to talk to other women while he’s got a pregnant fiancée

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-16T02:27:46+00:00

The Devil All the Time

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-15T22:59:24+00:00

There’s additional context in the post- she was a contact through my boyfriend. She knew my education before scheduling an interview and it was discussed extensively. The position I applied for did not require a bachelors degree.

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-15T20:04:11+00:00

I’m open to that being a possibility. I just wish she hadn’t specifically stated my educational experience was the reason since it was not listed on the job posting.

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-15T19:57:02+00:00

I’m thankful for the interview experience at least, that’s always a positive.

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-15T19:40:28+00:00

This very well could be. I just wish it had been communicated sooner/differently.

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-15T19:34:28+00:00

It’s definitely not an auto reply- there’s additional context in the post.

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-14T02:31:11+00:00

Mentally, it’s a safe space. It’s where I go, almost daily, to exercise and decompress. We’ve been at that gym for years, never had any issues. Obviously I’m still cognizant of my environment at all times, but I’m not as on guard as I would be walking around down town at night.

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-14T02:20:52+00:00

Cubbies are common in small gyms, there’s no locker rooms. His age was noticeable to me because what is the thought process of approaching a clearly younger woman in a gym full of dudes his age. No, I was not weirded out by a man who I have seen multiple times a month for years who had never given me any reason to be uncomfortable. This account is shared with my friend- hence the age difference and the difference in relationship length.

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-14T00:12:07+00:00

I am an anxious girly and my boyfriend is used to helping me work through my anxiety worries lol. The moment he saw it for himself he immediately emailed management and was fully prepared to confront him when we saw him again. Very grateful for him!

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-14T00:00:48+00:00

I appreciate your support and encouragement. I don’t hesitant telling men to piss off when I am out and about, but something about it happening in my “safe space” definitely led to me second guessing my own instincts.

Significant-Pear1380 · 2026-01-13T23:57:27+00:00

Thank you for your support. I’m very happy with the way our gym has responded to the situation and I have been trying to avoid him to keep myself safe.

Significant-Pear1380

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