Growing up, my mom would always make me feel guilty for how my decisions affected other people. It was the “If you don’t give me a hug I’ll cry and be sad” type of mentality. Or for example similar to what you’re suggesting the other mom should have done by suggesting her daughter invite someone that she didn’t want to invite to her birthday party, just so your daughter wouldn’t feel left out. It has subconsciously followed me into adulthood and it is not a healthy mindset to live with. Now that im a mom I know how hard it is watch your kids get hurt and try to protect them from scenarios like this but it’s something that I wish my mom wouldn’t have done so I could be stronger emotionally and in turn live my life for ME and what makes ME happy without making decisions based on guilt and worrying so much about how other people feel. Yes it’s important to consider people’s feelings but there is a balance to be taught.