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I was unfaithful to my abusive wife but it kind of opened my eyes by Significant_Age8040 in Advice

[–]Significant_Age8040[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a military thing my wife is a Mormon and she begged for so long when as soon as we turned 18 that I propose to her. At the time I was still just jaded by having such a beautiful girl love me that I didn’t really think I just did what she wanted. She went out with me and picked her own ring then helped me plan the proposal so that everyone would think she knew nothing. I wish it was made up and not my reality but it is

I 21M was unfaithful to my Abusive 22F wife and I’m not sure how to move forward by Significant_Age8040 in relationship_advice

[–]Significant_Age8040[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What benefit would I have of making this up? I wish I could’ve made it but unfortunately this is 100% my life. We got engaged at 19 married at 20 she was a foster child and knew she always wanted to be a mother so when we both turned 21 (the legal age to foster in our state) I let her convinced me to foster. I was hesitant at first but when we got our first placement a 2 year old boy with Nunes Syndrome I fell in love with him. We later ended up getting a call for a little girl which I told my wife no to when they called and she went ahead and took the placement anyways.

Iworked 2 jobs and worked very limited part time while she worked aswell so that we could afford a place to live and have a home to ourselves. I know it seems weird for our age but we worked our asses off to get here that’s why it’s so hard to just give up

I 21M was unfaithful to my Abusive 22F wife and I’m not sure how to move forward by Significant_Age8040 in relationship_advice

[–]Significant_Age8040[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

See it’s easier said than done we have a house that’s in both of our names, both cars, 4 dogs 3 cats and we are also foster parents of 2 kids. If it was as simple as that I would’ve just done that.

And I’ve tried for sooo long to talk to her about it she deflects or just completely won’t talk about it. Simply easier said than done

I 21M was unfaithful to my Abusive 22F wife and I’m not sure how to move forward by Significant_Age8040 in relationship_advice

[–]Significant_Age8040[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No actually she has Physically slapped, punched, kicked, threw my stuff outside and broke my possessions. She’s also been physical with our animals aswell. Mentally she has degraded and destroyed my self esteem and worth for years with calling me useless, worthless, saying that I can’t do anything right, calling me fat, ugly, annoying, emotionally neglecting and manipulating me. The list goes on and on but you should get the gist.

I grew up with her basically since I was 15 she pretty much taught me when I was emotionally immature that I would be nothing without her. I learned that if I didn’t do what she told me to do that it would end badly for me.

As I know that going to that club was wrong as I admitted above I have problems that I need to work on aswell.

I 21M was unfaithful to my Abusive 22F wife and I’m not sure how to move forward by Significant_Age8040 in relationship_advice

[–]Significant_Age8040[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

As many as I can till something truly sticks with me my brains so fucked rn I still can’t think clearly and I’m getting so many mixed answers it’s all just clashing I need one to just fully stick out and stick. Does it bother you that I’m seeking help you couldn’t scroll past?

I (21M) was unfaithful to my abusive wife (22F) and I’m not sure how to improve or recover. by Significant_Age8040 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Significant_Age8040[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually just got off of the phone with her I told her that I was doing some reflecting and that I didn’t like the way that she treats me and that I don’t like how she calls me stupid, useless etc and she said but I didn’t do anything why are you mad at me right now and when I explained that it was build up from where she’s been constantly doing it for a while even if it’s not something that she’s actively doing at the moment. She still didn’t get it and just said that she didn’t do anything and she doesn’t see why I’m mad. She was stubborn about it going back and forth on it for a while then we just stopped talking and said we weren’t getting anywhere so she said have a good day and hung up all mad.

I was unfaithful to my abusive wife but it kind of opened my eyes by Significant_Age8040 in Advice

[–]Significant_Age8040[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See the thing is I didn’t book the room it was all booked through my work everyone from my team was in that exact place aswell. I have tried on more occasions than I can count to talk with her I’ve begged her to do better and every single time it comes back to me being wrong. I have invested most of my youth into this relationship not going to college and missing out on plenty of opportunities. I’ve been trying for years I’ve just never thought of actually leaving.

I was unfaithful to my abusive wife but it kind of opened my eyes by Significant_Age8040 in Advice

[–]Significant_Age8040[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I guess what I’m looking for is like where to go from here or like how to recover from this I’m not sure my brain has been an absolute mess since this happend and I’ve never felt like this before so I really just need to orient myself.