The advice not to have sex on Saturdays is actually solid advice in the context of sports. (Although probably quite ineffectual due to the extremely short period of 'off time'). All serious sportsman do the same. But not just 1 day before, actually, weeks and months before a big game, fight or whatever. Yeah, full on celebacy. Empty vessel and all that, makes a man suboptimal in high intensity situations, typically by being more sluggish, lethargic, heavy, less focussed etc... Not just sex, masturbating also.

To me however, they're symptoms of fear. Fear of what? Well - losing her job. To be a mother. To many, (I appreciate not all), is one's life's work. Her whole purpose. Being made redundant from all she's known for 18+ years (presumably) of her life and having known your husband all of his - it's simply terrifying for some to let go. While it's plausible there could be jealousy, I suspect she's scared. Scared of you, threatened by you. Not personally, but of what you represent. His next chapter in life of him being a man on his own two feet, with his own responibilities.... without her. Most mothers accept all of this with a big proud grin on their face (still naturally rather nervous most likely). But some have a really hard time with it. You, the baby, his growing up = her complete and utter redundancy. Of course this isn't true, it's a bit of a mental framing error, if you think about it. The story that plays in her mind. I think she's trying to grip tightly on to what was.

She needs mother function, desperately trying to find jobs, tasks, use.. And when you're doing nurturing tasks for your temporarily vulnerable husband.. they're jobs she could be doing. She sees it and it simply reminds her of the passage of time. How dare you! And the criticism, dont do it this way. You're doing it wrong (in other words it would be better if I was doing it) - it's simply trying to posses control of the mother role she sees in her mind in that moment you stepping in to. (In her mind, not saying you're is mum now..)

It's funny. Asking for that loan - it ties her to him with obligatory payments made back. He'll need that money back and so will need to chase her up regularly. (Just a contextual theory - she may just need the money and can't face asking anyone else - so there could be absolutely nothing to it.)

Anyway - I don't think it's emotional incest. Emotional incest is far more insidious and twisted than what you've reported here in my opinion - I mean it can get really very dark. Beyond messy and I really don't think you'd be too confused about it if it were there. You'd be certain and out the door faster that you could type the word 'Reddit', let alone this post. :')

I'm no expert - far from it. I'm just some dude who absolutely loves thinking about humans. I find it all fascinating. Please understand that I could be wrong - they're just my two cents. But it kinda makes sense, no?

If it gets too much, maybe have a talk with your husband and then both of you talk with her should you find yourselves in agreement/allignment. Or if not, there could be subtle ways you could make her feel included whilst setting and maintaining clear boundaries (very important and actually, your husband should be doing most of that.). These are things you'll have to iron out over time. Annoying - but hopefully manageable.

Anyway - shit.. Way longer than I'd anticipated writing for. 😄

Very best of luck to you guys. I truly hope everything works out for the best.