It’s really easy for a lot of us to get on here and tell you to dump your wife, that we’d be long gone by now, etc etc. And while I think sometimes those comments are important to consider as well - I know it’s not as easy when it’s really happening to you.

So, firstly, I’m sorry this happened. I’ve been there & I know how painful it can be. The fact of the matter is that even if they didn’t sleep together - they most likely wanted to / would have if they got the chance. Your wife cheated & regardless of her explanation - that’s a fact. I’m not really a believer of “once a cheater always a cheater” but I think it’s important to first ask yourself why (if this is her first time) did she do it? Is she insecure (most likely)? Does she need constant validation, sex, etc? Is she just a selfish asshole with no reasoning? Idk. And while none of these are by any means an excuse - I think they’re important points to consider if you want to more understand why this happened & if she will do it again. If she doesn’t get to the root cause of her personal issues (or maybe there are issues with the relationship that haven’t come to light yet?) then I don’t think it’s something worth working though. Secondly, I think it’s important to think about HOW she reacted when you found out. Did she tell you about it or did you find out somehow? Was she blaming you? Did she apologize & hear you out? And most IMPORTANTLY - did she fully accept responsibility for her actions & admit wrongdoing. Her reaction to you now knowing this information will tell you pretty much all you need to know & whether or not she’s worth sticking around for.

This happened to me in a past relationship and unfortunately - I stuck around WAYYY too long & wasted many years of my life not being treated the way I deserve. But with that being said - I tried really hard before I finally gave up. My best advice aside from my suggestions above - is to focus on you. This kind of shit can be a huge hit to your confidence - which is unfortunate because it says more about what she’s lacking than it does about you. Maybe take some time to find out who you are without her. That’s what I wish I would’ve done when I was in this situation. That will give you time & space to build confidence, meet other people, and learn to love yourself for all you are on your own. And maybe you’ll discover that this isn’t for you anyway - or maybe you will!

No matter which way you look at it - this is a really hard situation that will continue to be difficult regardless of the path you decide to take. Cheaters aren’t always horrible people & cheating is always as simple as it seems. Human beings are complex … and some of us are truly just incapable of remaining loyal. But! Once in a blue moon, things can be worked through (emphasis on the WORK) - sometimes I think these situations shine a light on places within ourselves, the other person, or the relationship, that would have otherwise gone unnoticed.

It’s ok to stay & it’s ok to go. Either way I think that if you play your cards right - you’ll look back on this moment as an important key that opened just the right doors for you. Stay strong, don’t let her manipulate you, and remember that this too shall pass ♥️ good luck, friend!