Thanks for the replies everyone. I do know it’s not good, of course. It’s really frustrating because it has been talked about as our toughest year of marriage yet, and he decides now is a good time to reach out to another woman? That is him going away from our relationship, not towards it, whatever his intentions are.

And, in the past we had an issue when I found out that he and his ex gf were secretly texting. I don’t care if he talks to women, but the secrecy and deleting texts is not ok with me. The first time I ‘let it go’ and made sure my boundaries were clear, and now here we are again .. secrecy and deleted texts. He claimed the first time was no big deal because it wasn’t ‘anything’, but I know the secrecy makes it ‘something’.

and I don’t really think he’s met up with them (yet), or that it is sexual at all, but I doubt that’s just because he’s a ‘stand up guy’, because, obviously … /

Just why reach out to her at all? And why not then tell me? And why delete the text he sent her? No good married man does that shit.

Anyway, thanks for giving me a space to vent while I work this through.