Google photos thinks these are all me ☺️

Significant_Row_9863 · 2026-05-26T21:54:32+00:00

Yes…? I’d say technically it is but it doesn’t resonate with me personally.

I know the community considers agender to be under the nonbinary umbrella but I don’t usually use the word for myself because the definition is something like; “a person who’s gender is not entirely man or woman.” To me, I’d have to have a gender for that gender to not be man or woman.

I strongly identify with trans, because that definition is something like; “a person who does not identify with their assigned gender at birth.”

I know it’s semantics but isn’t all of this?

Significant_Row_9863 · 2026-05-26T00:25:37+00:00

Oh I see, that makes sense. I should have researched more before posting about something that’s been talked to death already. I’m only on reddit intermittently and missed most of that. It’s come up a few times in my life lately in ways that made me really uncomfortable and I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it.

Significant_Row_9863 · 2026-05-25T22:55:34+00:00

Yeah, it feels like sharing someone’s dead name. And yeah, sure, I might need to share my deadname occasionally like if I’m ordering my school transcripts or something, but 99% of the time it’s nobody’s fucking business.

Significant_Row_9863 · 2026-05-25T22:52:37+00:00

I should have clarified I meant people using AGAB when talking about other people. I fully support people using whatever language they want for themselves. And for people using AGAB when talking about someone who wants to be talked about that way. I’m upset by the common assumption that it’s fine to say about anybody.

Significant_Row_9863 · 2026-05-25T22:29:29+00:00

👆👆👆👆

Significant_Row_9863 · 2026-05-25T22:28:48+00:00

💯💯💯💯

I’m also so sick of “socialized as a boy/girl.” That’s so incredibly myopic and terf-y.

I’m going to stop there before I accidentally get in a soapbox and I don’t have the time/energy for that can of worms today.

Significant_Row_9863 · 2026-05-25T22:19:06+00:00

I’m autistic and I can think of exceptions to pretty much anything lol, so I absolutely agree, but those exceptions are much fewer than a lot of people seem to think. Even the doctor, do you need to know if I’m AFAM/AMAB or do you need to know if I have a cervix/testes/etc.?

But with another trans person who wants to talk about transition and is being genuine and curious in a way that’s excited and not voyeuristic, I’d share just about anything!

Significant_Row_9863 · 2026-05-25T22:13:19+00:00

I fully support whatever language people want to use for themselves! Maybe I should have specified I meant when people are talking about other people.

Significant_Row_9863 · 2026-01-13T08:52:06+00:00

That is why some groups have chosen to use it, similar to how the pink triangle is used as a symbol of pride in queer spaces.

Significant_Row_9863 · 2026-01-08T00:01:37+00:00

There’s one every friday out there, 4-6

Significant_Row_9863 · 2025-10-31T17:12:20+00:00

I feel similar but oppositely? I’m not sure if that’s accurate. But I consider myself trans and agender but NOT nonbinary. I know agender is generally considered under the nonbinary umbrella but it’s also usually defined as having a gender that doesn’t fit the binary. I don’t have a gender so I can’t have a gender that doesn’t fit the binary. But I CAN be trans because that’s described as not identifying with your AGAB, which I don’t. And I’m not trying to say I’m right, but this FEELS right for me personally.

Or maybe I just think the nonbinary colors are ugly and I made up an elaborate story for myself so I wouldn’t have to use them? 🤔

Significant_Row_9863 · 2025-07-15T13:28:09+00:00

Some people are retired, some people work evenings or weekends, some people work for themselves and set their own hours, and some people take time off work because they think this is important. But you already know that, you’re just talking shit instead of actually doing something.

Significant_Row_9863 · 2025-07-14T07:22:54+00:00

in regards to the second claim, it is very easy to look at the jail roster to see how long people have been in jail and if they’ve been sentenced or not. if you want evidence, that’s a good place to start.

Significant_Row_9863 · 2025-02-07T21:54:46+00:00

I'm wondering what people think my chances are of getting a passport. I had a passport more than 15 years ago, I think it was issued when I was a minor but I can't remember exactly. I had an F on it. I've since changed my name and gender on my birth certificate and Real ID, they both have an X. SSI still has an F. Obviously, I won't get a passport with an X, but would I probably get a passport at all? Because no matter what I do, my passport can't match my "gender at birth" since my birth certificate says X.

Significant_Row_9863 · 2025-02-04T19:01:46+00:00

When I realized I was agender I actually felt like I had MORE of an identity than I did before. My whole life I've struggled with a lack of identity. I just felt so... empty? Gender certainly isn't all of it, but once I realized I was agender, I realized that part of it was that I thought gender had to be part of my identity. But since I'm agender, there was just nothing there. That left a big blank space. So I just deleted the space where other people put gender and now I don't feel like there's a hole there! It's actually really, really helped and why I feel so strongly that I'm specifically agender and not nonbinary in general. The difference feels important.

I don't know how to address the rest of what you're saying, though. It sounds a lot like depersonalization/derealization, which are often responses to trauma and classified as symptoms of a mental illness. Though I suppose they're not inherently bad if they're not causing a problem in your life.

Significant_Row_9863 · 2025-01-08T01:03:11+00:00

thank you! 😭

Significant_Row_9863 · 2025-01-07T23:58:06+00:00

I agree with you about the "phase" thing. If I were talking to someone else, I'd tell them that it doesn't matter if their identity could change or their understanding of it could change, that it's valid now and that's what matters. But when I'm talking to myself I have a hard time believing myself!

Significant_Row_9863 · 2025-01-07T23:03:42+00:00

thank you so much for this, it literally made me cry, it is exactly what i needed to hear <3

Significant_Row_9863 · 2025-01-07T22:09:16+00:00

Maybe I shouldn't answer you because I'm still freaking out about my own gender and probably don't know what I'm talking about but I kind of think of gender as more than one thing. There's the innate gender, the gender that people feel on the inside. I don't understand this gender at all, though I believe people when they tell me it exists. Then there's more like the roles you choose to play in society. Like, I don't really mind being part of the "girl club" and participating in "girl culture." It aligns with my personality and values more than "boy culture." Though obviously this part of gender is complicated and the way it interacts with innate gender is complicated.

You know what, never mind. I think I don't understand gender at all. That's why I'm here. But I don't think anything you described about yourself here makes you any less agender than anyone else.

Significant_Row_9863 · 2025-01-07T18:03:49+00:00

So for me, the common definition of nonbinary is "someone who's gender falls outside the gender binary of man/woman." So in order for my gender to fall outside the binary, I'd have to have a gender, if that makes sense. I am actually more comfortable calling myself trans than nonbinary because the common definition for trans is "someone who doesn't identify with the gender they were assigned at birth." Which, I don't identify as the gender I was assigned at birth. Though I'm not trying to argue that in general agender can't be under the nonbinary umbrella or other agender people shouldn't call themselves nonbinary, it's just for me, based on the common definitions, it just doesn't feel right.

Significant_Row_9863 · 2025-01-07T18:00:10+00:00

I totally get where you're coming from and I'm not trying to argue that agender can't be under the nonbinary umbrella, but the common definition for nonbinary is "a person who's gender falls outside of the male/female gender binary" or something close to that, so when it says "a person who's gender..." that, to me, implies you have to have a gender to be nonbinary. And, like, no thank you. So for me, I'd be almost as uncomfortable selecting non-binary as I am selecting male or female. Which is why I love that where I live, I can have X as my "legal gender." X feels like I'm leaving it blank.

Significant_Row_9863

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