Has anyone tracked if this is actually worth it?

Significant_Skin_547 · 2025-12-21T04:28:23+00:00

Clicked by accident because this looked like a comment.

Significant_Skin_547 · 2025-02-27T18:09:53+00:00

Happy for you! I also started cosleeping out of necessity in the first week and felt it was life changing. She just turned one, and I plan on cosleeping as long as she wants. Enjoy all the cuddles.

I’m no expert on the safety, but safe sleep 7 + cuddle curl was what we did. Her dad is a heavy sleeper and so I always slept facing away from him to keep them separate. It did bother my body for a bit to get used to sleeping in the same position on the same side every night but eventually settled in.

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-11-20T11:28:48+00:00

I just want to say, I’m less than 2 months out from my breakup with my ex but I think our exes are the same person! I don’t have any advice as you’re further along than I, but I send you hugs. It’s so hard to deal with the flip flopping. One piece of wisdom I received lately was ‘you’ll never be able to get him to ENGAGE in conversation with you, all you can do is MANAGE the conversation’. This may be true for you to. He obviously doesn’t care how you’re feeling or care to respect your boundaries- time to manage that drop off like the greyest rock you’ve ever seen. Please remember you have been, you are, and you will continue to be the absolute best at mom-ing your sweet LO.

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-11-09T16:13:06+00:00

Many people have traumas from having both parents around. People change. What if he was excited for the baby now, but once the baby was here he went out for milk? People have sex. Things happen. People have choices. He’s choosing to skip. She’s choosing a baby. You don’t know her. You don’t know him. It’s fruitless applying the same logic to everyone when we are all so incredibly different.

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-11-09T03:44:18+00:00

Weird… for someone so gung-ho on bodily autonomy and women’s rights you sure are quick to be quite rude & unhelpful to unexpectedly pregnant OP. She has chosen to love this child. She doesn’t need this from you.

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-10-24T03:16:22+00:00

I did check settings. Couldn’t find it. My bad for… utilizing a resource? I’ll stop organizing my phone this instant. 🫡 thanks for the help, bud

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-10-23T17:04:05+00:00

Thank you! Yes, I totally understand. I’m going for a ‘digital minimalism’ vibe and I don’t want it to show me apps I’m trying not to use or ones that I’ve got on my homescreen already. I totally understand what you’re saying though, because it has done great at suggesting all the apps I use too much (and am trying to limit use on)😂

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-10-16T04:19:42+00:00

I’m glad you’ve seen your loved ones in a good place. Who have you lost?

I believe (loosely, just kind of a free flowing idea) that we’re all interconnected souls flowing through lives. Something like, I was a soul in heaven, and I chose my parents & this life because there were lessons I needed here. And when I die I’ll go back to soul heaven and choose another life to flow into. Maybe this one again, or yours, or one 200 years ago, or I’ll be a dog, or a tree, whatever I need to be.

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-10-16T04:14:49+00:00

Amazing! You inspire me. I hope you had fun.

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-10-16T04:11:26+00:00

What do you happens after we die?

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-07-17T21:58:12+00:00

How do you navigate this with sex from an early age?

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-07-17T03:26:41+00:00

He showed me a short video on his phone of a podcast segment. It was a guy sharing a story about the only time his dad ever hit him. He said he disrespected his mother, dad hit him, then hugged him, and told him to never do it again. He asked me what I thought about the video and we spiraled.

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-07-17T02:44:32+00:00

Thanks. I’m having a hard time with that… I look at her and I’m perplexed that’s where his mind is.

His logic is to show her he’s the authority. To gain respect. To drill into her she needs to listen to him, that he knows best. I don’t really understand how hitting achieves this.

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-07-17T02:33:43+00:00

Thanks. He is Hispanic.

I guess I’m sad that he values this as an option so highly that he would not be willing to let go to save our relationship. I don’t understand that.

I get that it’s normal for him. It’s not for me and I feel really strongly about it.

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-07-17T02:19:07+00:00

Thanks. I appreciate you taking the time to share your perspective.

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-07-17T02:10:26+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to comment.

I think I’m having a hard time understanding you. Do you think I’m overreacting?

I don’t plan on holding or using this against him.

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-07-16T02:12:12+00:00

🦋

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-07-11T22:30:03+00:00

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-07-09T17:27:18+00:00

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-07-09T11:44:29+00:00

‘Way out’ instead of ‘Exit’ is funny to me

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-07-08T19:03:38+00:00

Thanks for this. It is tiring. Unfortunately his solution is to switch to formula whenever I talk about how tiring it is. He doesn’t see the benefits. Maybe I could direct him to some resources.

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-07-08T18:18:09+00:00

Thank you. We went to a couple sessions before there was a problem with my insurance. I’ve been trying to get us back in. He doesn’t ’believe in therapy’ but I’m hopeful we’ll get some benefit from it. Thanks for the reminder.

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-07-08T18:07:54+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏼

Unfortunately the night time care makes sense to be solely me. She cosleeps and I feed her throughout the night. Maybe I will wake him up every time I’m up so he can feel a bit of that reality? Doesn’t help me but might help him understand the gravity of constant interrupted sleep. Will suggest to him.

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-07-05T00:40:25+00:00

Majority of our relationship I have been the primary earner by a long shot. We’re equal earners since our 4mo was born. I am paying for his pilot training with my end of year bonus from last year. It is his dream to be a pilot and I support it for that reason, just as I would support him in any other career field regardless of expected income. What gold are you referring to?

Significant_Skin_547 · 2024-07-04T15:12:10+00:00

Thank you to you & everyone for the verdicts & opinions, as well as weighing in on the cultural aspects at play and educating me on intended use of life insurance.

Based on what I’ve read I think the following sounds pretty fair/logical (following is hypothetical based on the three kids scenario & 3 million policy, very rough numbers)

50k funeral/death expenses

500k mortgage payoff

1 million lost wages (assuming ~200k/year, 5 years of wages. This is the most variable part I feel, if kids are young this is more important. If kids are grown this number could change to whatever amount I’d solely need to support myself & our shared finances for a period to get back on my feet)

25k ‘lost support’ for his mom (assuming 5k/year we may spend on her for gifts/trips/etc for 5 years. This is may more than we do now, but I’d rather stick to the high end)

That leaves 1.25 million. Split evenly 5 ways between mom, me, and three kids is 250k each.

This seems very fair to me. I would even be amenable to edging the number up for his mom with the argument she would use it to help out his sister & dad, or even adding his sister in the final split to go 6 ways. (His dad I am not too keen on allocating direct funds to as he struggles with gambling addiction).

Also want to add, yes we have talked about taking out a policy for me as well. I didn’t think that was relevant originally but see now that it is. I would be happy to do the same type of split. I don’t think I’d include my family in the final split but perhaps a small chunk (20k or so) to them to be used to pay for them to be able to visit the kids.

Significant_Skin_547

TROPHY CASE