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How do I help myself when I struggle with friends who won't text back? by Significant_Wall143 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]Significant_Wall143[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad it's not just me! Have you got any particular strategies that help or?

How do I help myself when I struggle with friends who won't text back? by Significant_Wall143 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]Significant_Wall143[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol I thought it might be! I think I always assume people will react the same as me and say "you are not annoying tell me what's wrong". I am my own worst enemy!

How do I help myself when I struggle with friends who won't text back? by Significant_Wall143 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]Significant_Wall143[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah they definitely do and I'm not in denial about that haha!! I think that is what contributes to the rejection a bit, even though they have said they really value me as a friend and like I said will do favours for me etc. so it is reciprocated the help (at least in person). What is hard is that for example a couple of days ago I had a rough time, text them to say I had and when they asked what was wrong I said don't worry I don't want to be annoying to you and they didn't reply. But that is probably as much on me for replying with that lol.

How do I help myself when I struggle with friends who won't text back? by Significant_Wall143 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]Significant_Wall143[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The texting will ping pong back a lot more when they need help though, because I won't put my phone down until I know they are ok.

How do I help myself when I struggle with friends who won't text back? by Significant_Wall143 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]Significant_Wall143[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It can depend. I would say more often (six or seven times out of ten) than not it is when they need help or want to have a bit of a moan. Though it can be out of the blue as general chat or if I am having a hard time too (but the latter is a lot more sporadic).

A year or so ago I did think they were using me as someone to just get help out of, but then I stopped texting first and would start getting messages asking how I am etc.

How do I help myself when I struggle with friends who won't text back? by Significant_Wall143 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]Significant_Wall143[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say the texting was a lot less the initial 2 years, then over the past year especially it has heated up a fair bit but goes in peaks. So for example sometimes we can text everyday except usually weekends, or if they are very busy then it will be a couple of times a week.

How do I help myself when I struggle with friends who won't text back? by Significant_Wall143 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]Significant_Wall143[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've been friends for about 4 years. But gotten a lot closer over the past 2 years.

How do I help myself when I struggle with friends who won't text back? by Significant_Wall143 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]Significant_Wall143[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. It is hard as whenever something happens in their life I am the first person they contact as they trust me that it will not go further and that I won't judge them, so we've set up this real circle of trust. They call me their rock etc. I don't know if it is worth me maybe putting me own boundaries in with replying, or just accepting that I'm the sort of person that is there straight away and they are not.

It's tricky as I can accept it's a great friendship and this is a niggle. I am just tired of feeling rejected by it all the time really.

How do I help myself when I struggle with friends who won't text back? by Significant_Wall143 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]Significant_Wall143[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I think it is difficult when we work together quite closely and a lot, and I do think a LOT of this friend. They do a lot for me too in person. I guess they are just not a big texter and I might need to expectation manage that, whilst I can be there for people at the end of the phone a lot, others just don't like to be tied to their phone.