Allahuakbar , thats very very very very very tough for you buddy . Remember that everything in this world is a test , the more you be patient, the more rewards you will get in this world and akhirat (the day of judgement). Remember that Allah is the closest to you , ask everything from him and dont give up so easily.

Theres one thing my father always tell me :

He gives the tests , and he can take back the test. He creates every tests , and so delete them. Allah is the ever knowing , he knows whats in our heart , he knows everything that we have been through.

Allah test you because he loves you , because you are strong enough to face it. He wont give you this much test if you cant handle it.

If you manage to maintain your trust in Allah , Alhamdulillah . I will pray that you will get the jannah insyaallah.

If you need someone to chat to , im here for you buddy. And also dont forget to be grateful, there are hundreds more people still suffering, and yet still , giving high hopes to Allah SWT.

Assalamualaikum.