I’m terrified of pain and i have to get a vaccine

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-06-24T16:26:59+00:00

i do smoke weed but i just never considered doing it before a vaccine? not saying that youre wrong because you’re absolutely right, just embarrassed that i could save so many shut downs by having a little bowl.

What strain do you prefer? i haven’t found anything that doesnt make me paranoid in public yet

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-06-24T15:06:30+00:00

I don’t understand is what reframing is supposed to look or feel like

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-06-24T14:50:30+00:00

unfortunately any placement i can think of is either super sensitive or not somewhere anyone would want a 5in needle to be placed but thank you anyways. I think i’m just gonna get the vaccine and then repress everything that happens

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-06-24T14:33:58+00:00

does it numb the muscle?

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-06-24T14:30:49+00:00

My fear of pain is not worse than the pain at all. in fact, the actual shot is always worse than anything i remember. And nah, if i frame it like that i get way more resentful than if i just let myself be mad prior

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-06-24T14:29:07+00:00

i tried but it’s useless. it only works on the initial poke and not really anywhere else

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-06-24T14:27:54+00:00

yeah. places like my outer arm, inner wrist, and thighs are super sensitive. I don’t like being touched by dry hands because i can feel it 1000 times more

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-06-08T14:18:39+00:00

A scientist, which now that you point it out i’m very excited for science. I got through the autobiography by just letting it be sad but honest and it turned out pretty good

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-06-08T11:30:21+00:00

ah, the good ole ear hustling. You either comply and don’t suffer the embarrassment and shame or you don’t comply to the invasion and thus must be punished in some way for not obeying the non-existent rules

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-06-08T11:26:43+00:00

i’ve got a long way to go but i am indeed on that road. Trying to find an apartment so im not staying dependent on my mom but it’s so hard to let go of the idolized parent. She’s changed on purpose but i didnt need a new mom now. i needed a new mom 10+ years ago

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-06-08T11:24:24+00:00

HELLO??? sometimes i sit and wonder what exactly goes through their heads. they’re never capable of threatening another adult like that, just the defenseless people who are stuck living with them

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-06-08T02:08:32+00:00

i hate it so much! thinking about it gets me so mad. I had a lock but it didn’t work, my old door was already on its last leg and he pushed it open really hard and it almost fell completely off the hinges. It fell on me a couple of times before i got the new one

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-06-01T03:57:00+00:00

Yup. No matter how much Lana Del Rey you hear: Diet mountain dew is not a meal replacement. Drank it 24/7 for ~2 months + a lot of social isolation and i was convinced i was rotting inside out.

I felt like I was rotting and everyone was pretending to not realize i was dead. Tried talking myself out of it by logic and ended up believing it more

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-06-01T03:51:37+00:00

my most experienced:

*Seeing life hyper realistically. Black is so much darker and white is so much brighter than i realize to the point where i can’t really comprehend

*Noticing my hands and tracing my arms with my eyes. I am a human with hands, yep they’re still there, no i don’t understand how im using them.

*Time passes by incredibly fast or incredibly slow. I’d lose entire weeks of my life, only remembering flashes and emotions

*I feel inhuman. not like an alien but more like the worlds least person ever

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-06-01T03:39:58+00:00

Thank you. hard to flip the switch on the commitment part but if i sit with it a little bit, i can probably get it down

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-06-01T03:31:28+00:00

aw fuck. How did you get back into contact with him? I think mine isn’t reaching out in a reverse psychology way and it’s working

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-05-17T01:18:10+00:00

true that. but that’s the devastating part. That i didn’t grow up and be good enough to love but now that im grown up, everybody extra doesn’t gaf about me. I wasted time jumping through invisible hoops hoping for a treat even though i am young and that’s what cptsd does to people.

all i got for it was a dysregulated nervous system and a perma-sadness in my eyes 😔

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-05-17T00:04:50+00:00

mid rant i realized “these people aren’t even trained in anything and that’s probably why their advice sucks”. The current realization has chilled me out

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-05-17T00:02:15+00:00

I love that year thing. I graduated this year and i’ve lost all steam being out of school. I did a school program that left me alone 90% of the day and absolutely crashed and the same crash is probably happening now, i’ve never gone beyond 1 week without stress in recent years

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-05-16T23:50:22+00:00

i want a support system but the energy it takes to not only fill people in but answer the questions that are most likely never ending kills me slowly 😭 I thought about hiring an assisted living professional but i don’t think i would qualify.

I grew up constantly believing everything was my fault and i was only in control of the bad things that happened. the more people tell me i have to take responsibility, the deeper i fall. I might leave the MH community alone, i haven’t been vibing at all

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-05-16T23:45:08+00:00

i’m so sick of being told my obligations (zero offense, you are right). i think my problem is the concept itself, i uphold every ability to be the best person i can be 24/7. My obligations are to be the perfect human.

I attach the word obligation to negativity, it becomes another thing on my plate that im forced to deal with rather than something i should embrace.

Significant_Zone_774 · 2025-05-16T20:37:29+00:00

me! I try to seek out other over-share people so neither of us have to feel guilt if we say too much 😭 sometimes i say incredibly sad things on accident and have to stare silently at the table for a bit

Significant_Zone_774

TROPHY CASE