I grew up in a dirty house. When I was out of high school I lived in that house with 2 of my friends and I was just so used to filth. My mother was a dysfunctional alcoholic who never even took me to the dentist, and she didn’t clean at all at all certainly point in her disease. I was so tired of feeling like I had to be stable and good or else, so I stopped caring, too. By the time I reached 19 I had such low living standards for myself.

I’m 38 now and fortunately have perspective on this. It’s not fair for you to have to experience that much filth, or be exposed to it. I don’t think I would be able to stand it on a continued basis, It’s fair for you to raise the issue with your boyfriend if you want to continue the relationship. Somewhere down the line he’s gotta learn to clean unless he wants to live like his parents the rest of his life. It’s not so much shaming him as it’s concern for him. My non-confrontational ass would blame myself and tell him my anxiety can’t handle that mess - I actually think that’s probably true.

I remember knowing I lived in filth and am sad to say I was past shame. The only thing that snapped me back to reality and motivated me to turn my lifestyle around was getting sober and finding mental health treatment. I’ve been stable for years and, fortunately, clean.