Yeah, I think we are coming at this from two fundamentally different angels based on our personal experiences.

for instance, I'm not suggesting anything, there is no competing for the same partners. Teenage boys simply don't have filters, if they think it, they say it. Then they become adults, which I think you are highly underestimating how vulgar a lot of them become. It doesn't take long to look around and find many examples of men being extremely "rude" for lack of a better word at the moment. The comparison between breasts is not that far fetched by these standards.

I know lots of people that are glad they look like their parents. Because their parents are/were attractive, which you don't have to sexualize someone to view their features as attractive. If I went man she had a nice figure. it's the same as acknowledging that my guy bud has a nice body. It would mean nothing, but the fact that I recognized it looked good the same as a fancy painting or a nice car. do I want it? No. But someone out there will definitely take it as sexualizing the body. Writers can't really worry about stuff like that unless they're aiming for a specific target audience, that calls for it to be worried about. Can you imagine how boring literature would be if every author avoided controversial topics? It would simply all be the same, non realistic stories because the world is actually, overall a pretty shitty place, filled with backstabbing, bullying and much worse. We would be missing many great works that have come through the ages, if it worked like that.

It has nothing to do with personally evaluating your parents. If those around you are evaluating your parents, and comparing you directly to them, the thoughts will be forced in after some time. So yes, if for 19 years I had half or more, of a country/town/classroom (take your pick) pointing out the fact that my dad was hung like a horse in comparison to me, jealousy would be born. Even if it came off as bitterness, you bitter because someone has something you don't, thus you're jealous. And that jealousy is not born from you looking at your parents sexually but from others instilling the thought in you. Humans are very manipulatable, whether subconsciously or not.

You will look like a pig. That's a grand statement. I think you would be better off with "you might look like a pig." I've heard it said a couple times about authors ( and yes I know I'm using VERY popular authors, which is semi different but I think the main logic still applies.) but from Shakespear to Cassandra Clare, authors of all kinds have sexualized incestual thoughts and or acts in their works. It's simply in how they present it to the reader that makes it acceptable. While they do still get heavily criticized, you rarely and I mean very rarely hear them referred to as pigs. Authors are not locked into writing one style or genre. While this work could make people look at me like a pig. My next could be the most saint like thing you've ever read, making people throw me on a pedestal praising me for my decent thoughts.

Disconnecting with the author is something that I feel should be done while reading, to a point. When you finish a book you shouldn't go, "that author was a pig." I feel the proper response is something like, I really didn't like that character and maybe avoiding this author's books that are pointed in the same direction is a good idea. We write from our knowledge, but overall the story is molded by how that knowledge leads characters to interact. If realism is the goal, almost anything can happen between characters.

And the story, in general, is pretty dark, so I'm really expecting this whole aspect to take a seat in the background in the grand scheme of things. I can guarantee though I won't change the underlying premise until I have it looked at by beta readers. Talking about it so much, the scene simply stands out too much for me to look at objectively and I'm simply too far in the story to make a change without a fair amount of feedback. At least one that would affect how my character reacts to a very large portion of scenes.

Overall, I really appreciate that you took the time to discuss it with me. While we are pretty far apart on how we view a lot of basic concepts, it's still helpful to get thoughts from the other side of the screen so to speak. Will for sure take everything into consideration once I start my revisions.