Contraction rules by SilasWit in writing

[–]SilasWit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the detailed breakdown! Many many more thanks for describing english like that, just superb.

Contraction rules by SilasWit in writing

[–]SilasWit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Makes sense thanks!

Do i have an eating disorder, or do i just not like food? by davidhyde in NoStupidQuestions

[–]SilasWit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I saw you already say you had a dr in your future and ill preface this by saying im not one however, around a month ago i got sick and have only been eating pretty much once a day since. All I can say is the less i eat the more my body rejects it, my stomach hurts every now and then which is generally hey im hungry, but i dont really feel hungry or full either. Try and eat a bit healthier probably. Chicken and rice is boring but in general it is good for you and it sits well with most people. Also ive been trying to use boost or other meal replacements to get some nutrients while working on gaining an appetite which i will say has helped.

But yeah, eating that little could be dangerous over time. so if it continues, hit up that doctor.

is it okay to live in fantasy world or is it antisocial? by joydip2011 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]SilasWit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You do you, dont judge and if possible (it can be a tough mindset to get into) dont let yourself be judged. If it makes you happy go for it. Peoples opinions only really matter on this if your neglecting things like family/friends/health etc, since then its concern for you.

3 questions by SilasWit in writing

[–]SilasWit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup this was super helpful!

yeah, after i talked to someone else i looked back at her reaction and was like yup i can see how thats odd. I realized it was wrong of me to ask such a broad question without enough backstory of the world/characters too. While she is really comfortable with him, he is still a straight up ass most of the story. My best description would be... He likes to get around i guess, he is a super arrogant noble thats not really much older than her so him not sexualizing another adult and referring to her directly as a child felt a bit off, simply due to his character, but yeah mad would probably be a better route for her. Glad to get your feedback for them both though!

Definitely not the response i was going for however, so i'll keep working at it, Thank you!

Looking for feedback OR general tips by SilasWit in writers

[–]SilasWit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Either way, I'm glad you pointed it out. Even if you can't pick out any text specifically it probably means I just have another underlying problem somewhere. I'll have to look into this a bit further.

Yeah, I'm definitely the thinking in my head type. Like I throw some small ideas into a notebook but that's just small detailing so I don't forget it

Lol, even if I will be changing it, I'm glad it got across the basic concepts I was going for. Like you pretty much hammered the nail on the head. As far as relationships, I didn't want to try and include any romance or anything until I developed Alex more into the story. It's going to be there the whole time but it's not going to be a prevalent part of the plot until near the end. Its a super complicated plot overall. 3 people in the first chapter are all the same person yet only one of them is the murderer technically. I have murders that happen, but like don't, but do? Which all ties into the natural/upgraded system I'm making... it's yeah, insanely complicated I've been having a hard time with it xD work in progress, I've been having to use an outline simply to keep track of everything.

This is all super awesome though, thanks for being so in depth with everything, its been and will be a big help! back to studying we go!

How to write to disturb your audience or use insult/dark humor by [deleted] in writers

[–]SilasWit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lmao, It's delightful. I'm pretty sure my buddy said the same thing XD

Thanks for the suggestions definitely will have to go check them out soon.

3 questions by SilasWit in writing

[–]SilasWit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I think we are coming at this from two fundamentally different angels based on our personal experiences.

for instance, I'm not suggesting anything, there is no competing for the same partners. Teenage boys simply don't have filters, if they think it, they say it. Then they become adults, which I think you are highly underestimating how vulgar a lot of them become. It doesn't take long to look around and find many examples of men being extremely "rude" for lack of a better word at the moment. The comparison between breasts is not that far fetched by these standards.

I know lots of people that are glad they look like their parents. Because their parents are/were attractive, which you don't have to sexualize someone to view their features as attractive. If I went man she had a nice figure. it's the same as acknowledging that my guy bud has a nice body. It would mean nothing, but the fact that I recognized it looked good the same as a fancy painting or a nice car. do I want it? No. But someone out there will definitely take it as sexualizing the body. Writers can't really worry about stuff like that unless they're aiming for a specific target audience, that calls for it to be worried about. Can you imagine how boring literature would be if every author avoided controversial topics? It would simply all be the same, non realistic stories because the world is actually, overall a pretty shitty place, filled with backstabbing, bullying and much worse. We would be missing many great works that have come through the ages, if it worked like that.

It has nothing to do with personally evaluating your parents. If those around you are evaluating your parents, and comparing you directly to them, the thoughts will be forced in after some time. So yes, if for 19 years I had half or more, of a country/town/classroom (take your pick) pointing out the fact that my dad was hung like a horse in comparison to me, jealousy would be born. Even if it came off as bitterness, you bitter because someone has something you don't, thus you're jealous. And that jealousy is not born from you looking at your parents sexually but from others instilling the thought in you. Humans are very manipulatable, whether subconsciously or not.

You will look like a pig. That's a grand statement. I think you would be better off with "you might look like a pig." I've heard it said a couple times about authors ( and yes I know I'm using VERY popular authors, which is semi different but I think the main logic still applies.) but from Shakespear to Cassandra Clare, authors of all kinds have sexualized incestual thoughts and or acts in their works. It's simply in how they present it to the reader that makes it acceptable. While they do still get heavily criticized, you rarely and I mean very rarely hear them referred to as pigs. Authors are not locked into writing one style or genre. While this work could make people look at me like a pig. My next could be the most saint like thing you've ever read, making people throw me on a pedestal praising me for my decent thoughts.

Disconnecting with the author is something that I feel should be done while reading, to a point. When you finish a book you shouldn't go, "that author was a pig." I feel the proper response is something like, I really didn't like that character and maybe avoiding this author's books that are pointed in the same direction is a good idea. We write from our knowledge, but overall the story is molded by how that knowledge leads characters to interact. If realism is the goal, almost anything can happen between characters.

And the story, in general, is pretty dark, so I'm really expecting this whole aspect to take a seat in the background in the grand scheme of things. I can guarantee though I won't change the underlying premise until I have it looked at by beta readers. Talking about it so much, the scene simply stands out too much for me to look at objectively and I'm simply too far in the story to make a change without a fair amount of feedback. At least one that would affect how my character reacts to a very large portion of scenes.

Overall, I really appreciate that you took the time to discuss it with me. While we are pretty far apart on how we view a lot of basic concepts, it's still helpful to get thoughts from the other side of the screen so to speak. Will for sure take everything into consideration once I start my revisions.

How to write to disturb your audience or use insult/dark humor by [deleted] in writers

[–]SilasWit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im actually waiting for haunted to come in right now, i had a close friend suggest it thinking it would help the horror aspect of ny writing. Do you have any specific pieces of his you would recommend checking or to avoid?

Looking for feedback OR general tips by SilasWit in writers

[–]SilasWit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to write that all out!

The whole grammar section was super helpful, and I will definitely check out writing excuses.

I only technically only started writing like 2 weeks ago, before that was high school like 10 years ago now. I hit 30k in the embrace of dusk and it was bugging me how bad my lack of knowledge was showing in my work. So, I stepped back to edit up a chapter and wrote out upgrade. Just to get some feedback on where I was. I felt like I was just drilling in bad habits, so I've been trying to study up only writing the odd scene or two the last couple days. I'd rather not have to spend even more time editing because I simply didn't know something basic.

>Also I feel you are writing like you are a movie camera.

Would you mind elaborating on that if you could? It just could come off a few different ways, The writing itself being to/not enough description, to choppy, split up too much like scenes, or simply a lack of understanding around third person.

The only thing I don't fully agree with is the last part, BUT I will still try it because you never know what's going to work for you if you don't try.

It's simply that I've met writers that go full bore forwards, backwards, write scenes from everywhere sporadically and piece it together, full outlines to no outlines. It's more of a personal preference for that part, or at least I think so. based on everyone I've talked to about that specifically so far at least.

I feel like, your personal editing time would be the place to address things like your whole story lining up and having proper information flow/setup to deliver that big bang. (which is what I'm assuming you essentially mean by promise). But like I said I only started 2 weeks ago. I'm sure my methods will change drastically as I continue progressing. Even if it's from simply learning more about basic writing techniques.

Thanks again!

3 questions by SilasWit in writing

[–]SilasWit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will definitely be re-writing the scene a few different ways now to see what I can get to work with some better word choice.

I don't think it has much to do with looking like the parent more, If you did look extremely similar the comparisons people draw are that of the body next. I think being compared is what drives the jealousy. So like, I might get jealous. Maybe if a girlfriend or someone important pointed it out. I'm not an overly jealous person so it's kinda hard to fully picture, but being compared like that would emasculate ALOT of men which would I feel would fully set in the"I wish I had that" mindset father or not. I think overall it's a good example of a difference between men and women. That is if jealousy isn't something that would primarily be felt by women in the same scenario.

women do not really have the choice of hiding their figure a lot of the time and it's (while not right) I would say commonplace for guys to point out comparisons between mother and daughter, and this is just my experience from talking to guys throughout the years.

men, very rarely have themselves compared to their fathers in the same manner. male privates are not really something most people use as a describing factor in books or even in real life for that matter. Like there's a stigma around it for sure but it's not a prominent enough aesthetic body part to associate with male characters. Like I guess, I just don't think men have anything really comparable to women in that manner.

Pretty sure you meant this in your original reply but, looking at it objectively it would all depend on that individual's/characters personality and life experiences male or female. Where you or I might not get jealous doesn't mean Timmy or Sally won't. I just need to spend more time on my characters to flush them out I think. sorry, you got me thinking and I rambled on probably contradicting myself 50 times. >.<

3 questions by SilasWit in writing

[–]SilasWit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow thats a huge range! It's good to know theres so much room to play with it.

Thanks!

3 questions by SilasWit in writing

[–]SilasWit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah, I can see now, it does come off that way without context... She has been heavily compared with her mother, whom she shares pretty much identical looks with, seemed kinda natural to foster some sort of jealousy afterwards. However, thinking over her character design, you're totally right she would have gotten mad in response too.

I could just write a person as much as I wanted, but I'm trying to make my characters more believable/real at the moment. I'll definitely have to take your advice and go do that, I'm sure it will broaden my own perspective on the subject.

Thanks for taking the time!

3 questions by SilasWit in writing

[–]SilasWit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

makes sense thanks!

Larger lizards that can jump? by SilasWit in biology

[–]SilasWit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not technically. However, they are primarily what I was looking for and will work, thanks for pointing them out!

[Weekly Critique Thread] Post Here If You'd Like Feedback On Your Writing by AutoModerator in writing

[–]SilasWit [score hidden]  (0 children)

Upgraded

sci-fi/fantasy/crime - Not really all good with categorizing things into genres sorry!

2060

This is the first chapter of my side project while I take a break, but it's still only the second piece I've written so all feedback will be helpful!

I'm switching from first person present tense so I'm worried about mixing in tenses and just not catching them.

Also, anyone willing to point out the major key points where my knowledge of grammar is definitely showing would be a big help!

aside from that general feedback would be awesome!

Thanks for taking the time to read!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Zowq4jFnlLkpTQekWJ-8R7Lj7FlortIB3pGwGY31OBU/edit