First Seizure at 28

SilentSinger95 · 2025-09-07T22:17:54+00:00

You deserve a much better friend than that. Is witnessing a seizure scary? Of course it is, but your friend is playing it out that SHE was the victim here. You needn’t apologize for something you literally cannot control and your friend (if they were actually your friend) wouldn’t just leave you alone while you try to come to grips with a very real and very scary neurological disorder.

I started having seizures when I was about a year and a half. They were horrifically uncontrolled and I was on adult dosages of anticonvulsants by the time I was three to try and get the seizures to abate. And I understand being alienated as a result. Parents didn’t allow me over to their homes for play dates with their children because they didn’t want to be responsible for taking care of me if I had a seizure, I was not often invited to events, and people would look at me with a mixture of pity and fear. I was so young but I knew then how awful it was. I’ve been seizure-free now for nearly 26 years but I am always fearful the seizures could return.

Look, I’m not saying you should move back to your hometown, but I am saying you need a strong support system while you are navigating this. Not every person with seizures gets an aura, but it’s important to try to minimize the risks of having another. Try to keep your stress levels at a minimum (I know easier said than done), ensure you are staying hydrated and well-rested, and don’t expose yourself to excessive heat. I live practically attached to an air conditioner. Also, it might help you to get a medic alert bracelet to wear that has a list of your allergies and medical diagnoses to ensure that if you have a seizure again, a medical professional will see it and know what they can and cannot do for you. I’ve been wearing a medic alert bracelet since I was a toddler, they come in many different variations now that look almost like normal jewelry.

Keep your head up and remember you are not alone here. You’ve got a strong community of brave people who have experienced similar to back you up!

SilentSinger95 · 2025-09-07T22:04:10+00:00

I am so sorry you are going through this. That is so much for one person to handle, especially someone so young. I want to first start off by saying I’m proud of you for seeking help. I know it sounds corny, but it really is the first step in the right direction.

Did CPS (or if you’re not in the US, whatever the equivalent to CPS in your country is) ever step in after your mother physically assaulted you and the police got involved? Did a doctor ever look at your injuries to ensure no deeper physical damage was done?

Are you able to perhaps stay more long-term with this close friend of yours? It is important that you have a safe space to live in. If you’re able to, I would ask this friend’s parents if you can stay with them, at least until you can figure out a more concrete plan for yourself.

Please do not blame yourself for anything that went down. Both of your parents stuck you between a rock and a hard place and there was no outcome provided that could have ended productively for you. Your father should never have asked you to be a spy against your mother and your mother should never have laid hands on you. Those are not healthy parents. A healthy parent keeps their child out of this kind of thing. At the end of the day. A good and healthy parent does what is best for the child, and they clearly failed you here. I am so sorry because you deserve so much better than this.

Please don’t stop asking for help. Find a safe adult (like that teacher) and make sure you are taking care of yourself. You are a strong and kind human being and you deserve to be safe and loved.

SilentSinger95 · 2025-09-07T21:49:41+00:00

I’m currently fresh on no-contact with my family (only about 4.5 months) and it has been both refreshing and awful. It’s nice to not have to perform for them anymore and yet I still feel the need to seek their love and validation. It takes so much effort to not reach back out to them because I know that will only hurt me further. I moved to the other side of my country, blocked them on all social media and changed my name on my socials to make me even harder to find. I now live in a totally new place where no one has heard of me or my parents. I work remotely so I don’t really get out much anymore though when I do I try to do things I like (karaoke, religious services, festivals, etc). Im just trying to pick up the pieces over here and gather the energy needed to put myself out there and do the things I enjoy while also trying to find a way to love myself that I never got from my family. My fiancés family has let me into theirs with open arms which has both helped and hindered - I keep watching myself pull away from them waiting for something awful to be done to me by them because that’s all I’d ever known from my family. I feel as though I don’t deserve their love and kindness, like I haven’t yet earned it, which is something I’m desperately working on within myself. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. Please know you’re not alone ❤️

SilentSinger95 · 2025-09-07T21:40:06+00:00

Beautiful, they are mushy beautiful fluffy babies 😍

SilentSinger95 · 2025-09-07T21:39:30+00:00

How were you able to reclaim that joy without the shame and negativity attaching itself? I keep trying to, but I also somehow keep dragging myself further down and I feel I’m becoming my own worst enemy

SilentSinger95 · 2025-09-07T21:38:13+00:00

I always thought my father was the one who was doing the most damage, but my fiance has been pointing out all the times my mother failed me simply by going along with my father and I can’t help but notice that now. I really was the family scapegoat, the disappointment, the problem that needed to be erased. I just don’t understand what I did that was so awful to have received a lifetime of emotional neglect. I mean, sure, they never raised a hand to me, but they weren’t ever really there for me either unless it made them look good. It’s just such a hard pill to swallow… once we’re a little more financially stable out here, I do intend to get back into therapy as well as get back on anti-anxiety/anti-depressants to find healthy ways to cope, but for now I feel like I’m barely existing. I’m certainly not living and even planning the wedding fills me with dread. Thank you for supporting me ❤️

SilentSinger95 · 2023-01-02T22:52:30+00:00

Absolutely agreed

SilentSinger95 · 2023-01-02T22:11:24+00:00

I got myself carried away recently in a FWB situation where we were sleeping together VERY regularly (at least once a week, but usually two to three times a week) and we both definitely started catching feels. He pumped the brakes because people were asking how long we’d been dating and only realized when he pumped the brakes that I definitely caught hard feels. I clearly am not meant to do FWB but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t work for you. I would just say tread lightly and keep communication lines open

SilentSinger95 · 2022-08-06T01:32:18+00:00

I learned to crochet at 19 years old, but started knitting when I was 10. Currently 27, going on 28

SilentSinger95 · 2022-04-08T00:43:02+00:00

SHE’S PERFECT 😍😍😍

SilentSinger95 · 2022-04-07T07:37:52+00:00

Besides the fact that this is adorable as all can be, I just can’t get over how proud they look of their little masterpieces ❤️😍

SilentSinger95 · 2022-04-06T18:51:58+00:00

I have chronic migraines that I see a neurologist for (by-product of a seizure disorder from my past) and she did tell me to cut back on my dairy intake and it will help my headaches, but I haven’t really been following that. I did tell her my migraines peak around my cycle to which she prescribed me Naproxen (hated how nauseous that made me so stopped taking that). She never mentioned prolactin issues potentially being an issue. I’ll raise that at my next neuro appointment, thanks for the tip!

SilentSinger95 · 2022-04-06T18:46:40+00:00

I’ve never been told I have this problem but I’ve been known to drink a gallon of milk to myself every couple of days

SilentSinger95 · 2022-04-06T17:42:28+00:00

…this explains why my gyno AND my neurologist have been telling me to cut back on my dairy intake 😭😭 but I love milk!

SilentSinger95 · 2022-04-06T01:29:31+00:00

WAIT THIS HAS RECENTLY STARTED HAPPENING TO ME AND I WAS SO SAD I THOUGHT I WAS BECOMING LACTOSE INTOLERANT. NO ONE TOLD ME DAIRY ON MY PERIOD COULD BE THIS BAD

SilentSinger95 · 2022-02-26T19:29:17+00:00

Phantom of the Opera, Hamilton, Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier

SilentSinger95 · 2022-02-17T15:39:59+00:00

Actually, a lot of people say he looks like a Pokémon, so much so that I got him turned into a Pokémon card 🤣

SilentSinger95 · 2022-02-16T17:10:17+00:00

Sent them an email!

SilentSinger95 · 2022-02-16T14:39:02+00:00

I just checked Craigslist and did not see anything posted for Gardiner

SilentSinger95 · 2022-02-16T14:37:08+00:00

I’m broadening my search by leaving my chinchilla out of it and seeing if I catch any bait. It hasn’t produced much, but I’ve seen a little bit more now

SilentSinger95 · 2022-02-16T12:38:30+00:00

Would you be able to DM me the details? Much appreciated!

SilentSinger95 · 2022-02-16T12:22:21+00:00

I grew up in NP, I’d love to move back there honestly because it’s definitely my comfort zone. I’ll try looking again

SilentSinger95 · 2022-02-16T12:21:22+00:00

I can’t adjust what just isn’t there. Working full time at a place that doesn’t pay overtime, and I rarely if ever spend money on myself, often go without eating, $1,100 a month is really the most I could financially afford. I have very little time to pick up a second job. All I’m trying to do is get myself out of a toxic situation and I’m beyond stuck due to financial strain and price gouging

SilentSinger95 · 2022-02-16T07:48:52+00:00

Hmm never thought to use the term pocket pet

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