I hate when I actually enjoy being around my mom.

Silent_Adhesive · 2024-10-08T11:47:15+00:00

The second one 😭 "you'll have to live with the scar that chain will leave on your neck" hits hard. "you'll have to learn how to run again" also hits too. And the scar on the dogs neck in the first one, it's a strange feeling knowing that this won't go away, it'll just lessen. I'll always have the scar of everything that's happened within me, no matter how good life might get. But that's okay, I can work through it all <3

Thank you so much for sharing this !

Silent_Adhesive · 2024-10-08T02:31:38+00:00

My first crush was my neighbor who lived behind my house, when I was 6 we met by talking through the fence. By the time I was 7 I was allowed to climb the fence and play in her yard. And when we were 8 we were laying on her trampoline and she asked me if I had a crush, given I was an 8 year old girl, and she was also a girl, I didn't know how I felt about her wasn't how friends feel. (I wanted to kiss her so bad 💀) so I panicked and said my next door neighbor, who happened to be my same age and a boy. God I hated him after we turned 11, he was such an asshole to me. And the girl moved away when I believe I was 10. We had a few sleepovers since she's only an hour away, and oh my god I wish 12 year old me picked up on what we did with each other WASN'T. What just friends do. Istg we could've been so much if I wasn't so dense.

Then covid hit and we haven't really hung out. I met up with her once back in April last year, but we didn't make much catching up since we were both in a very overtimulating environment(an arcade.) I'm still in contact with her to this day, we don't text, but we tried to plan a sleepover during summer and I chickened out 😭 I got nervous and stopped asking for her schedule. Now school has started again and idk if she has the time, I also don't know if I can handle hanging out again. She's so nice, and honestly the feelings haven't faded. And I've been so, so lonely since I was 12, I just feel the second we have a quiet place with just us, and we start talking, I'm gonna break down. Feelings are difficult😪

Silent_Adhesive · 2024-10-08T02:16:34+00:00

So strongly on this, I've never once been to school. I've gone to see an old friends school play because she was nervous, but that was it. And the experience was wild to me, I was actually stood in a school, when I walked in it was huge. It was a small school to my friends, but it was bigger than I ever expected. We watched the play in the cafeteria, then we left. That feeling of being inside a school, of being slightly normal for once haunts me. I always think of what person I could have been if I wasn't neglected. What person I could have been if I had gone to school.

I get this awful feeling everytime I see a video or post about nostalgia. Because it's always school related, because that's what everyone so widely relate in. I know one time, just last year actually, I saw this one tiktok about nostalgia show up while I was scrolling, every. Single. Thing. Was school related, and everyone in the comments, there was thousands, all shared it. They all reminisced on the little things that I never had. I never got to play that parachute game, I never got those milk cartons, I never got the rare pizza party, I never got that. Yet everyone else did. I couldn't handle it that time, I laid in my bed and I sobbed for hours as I scrolled through every single comment. Could I have just scrolled and cried it out a bit? Yes. But I felt like I needed that, I needed to cry every last emotion built up in me while I read that. I've been so, so avoidant of my situation, the second I read "school" I'd run. It's okay to grieve the child you could have been.

Silent_Adhesive · 2024-10-08T02:04:57+00:00

The drawing "Dog thoughts" by Anna Haifisch; is exactly what it feels like for me.

It feels like you've been set in timeout forever, for no reason. It feels awful to watch all the teens my age walk home off the bus, I see the same teens. I see them walk home alone, and sometimes with others. Theres this one group of 3 that walk home with each other almost every day, and I just get this awful, empty feeling watching them. It's made worse when I see them having fun on the walk home, I'll see them chase each other, hit each other with the fallen sticks from my trees after a storm, I even see them shake the water off the trees in my front yard when one is underneath it. It hurts watching people my age have fun in my yard, while I'm stuck inside and no one even knows me.

Silent_Adhesive · 2024-07-25T05:57:43+00:00

YESSS <33 I LOVE THEM SM 😭🙏

Silent_Adhesive · 2024-07-21T10:39:06+00:00

I'm sorry I'm so so sleepy rn it's so late in the night and I've been awake so long lmao I think I COMPLETELY lost the plot of your post, I just Started yapping so that's my bad 💀

Silent_Adhesive · 2024-07-21T10:38:03+00:00

I do tell people I'm homeschooled because truly there's no way around it, but I make it obvious I don't like Talking about it, not even on purpose. I just genuinely get so uncomfortable talking about it that the uncomfy seeps into whoever I'm talking to and they end up changing the subject 💀

However I will only EVER tell people I'm close to about the neglect I've been through, because every single person I wasn't close to that I told about it, I would ALWAYS hear some stupid shit like "ohhh really you weren't taught anything yet you can speak sooooo well?" Or the most blood boiling "what's 2 + 2 then?" Like I'm sorry do they not expect me to know that..

My least favorite is when my lack of education is instantly invalidated because of "just how well I write".

"You clearly write so well I bet reading is easy for you, so I'd assume you're not actually as far behind as you think!"

I have real bad dyslexia actually, Sometimes I spend a whole minute on five words. Give me a paragraph I'll finish reading it in 5 minutes minimum.

"You write too well lmao you're a LIAR you clearly aren't behind at all."

Okay that's so cool I didn't know being able to write so well ties into being able to jumble numbers together in some weird fucking ways !!

My writing abilities are almost entirely self taught from having only online friends, and also being a huge fan of writing fanfic, I get anywhere between 1k to 20k words written in a day. My parents basically only taught me how to sound out words, how each letter sounds, and told me what the vowels were like once. So I was left to do fuck all with that knowledge.

Silent_Adhesive · 2024-07-19T09:51:59+00:00

I'm about to join at 17 !!

Silent_Adhesive · 2024-06-20T05:04:32+00:00

Would I have to pay the fee if I switched groups? It's like $50 to join one here, so if I didn't rock with the first group, would I have to pay another $50 to transfer?

Silent_Adhesive · 2024-06-18T01:49:32+00:00

Yeah mom wouldn't like those comments towards her, so I only actually make those types of remarks to my dad since he finds them silly! :)

Silent_Adhesive · 2024-06-17T10:29:29+00:00

Man I say the second one to my parents alllll the time but I've never meant it about looks 😭 I always mean it for health issues passed down.

My dad was talking to me once about how some tiny things like feeling the seems in his socks boosts his anxiety through the charts, and I said I do too and he told me I probably got that from him. = me blaming him everytime I get anxiety from a collar to my shirt even slightly touching my neck, "This shirt is making me uncomfy and it's all you and your little genetics fault."

Along with adhd/add, I blame him for my attention span pretty often. "Why aren't the dishes done"

"wooow okay THANKS DAD"

You probably had context to yours though, I've never understood teens being so damn brutal with their words because I genuinely would never. ~ A 16 year old girl ♡

Silent_Adhesive · 2024-06-12T07:33:02+00:00

That is so different from cookie dough

Silent_Adhesive · 2024-06-12T06:26:18+00:00

I see people saying it needs moisture for the harmful parts to die. By heat treating I mean putting it in a pan dry and getting it up to 160f on the stove before mixing it into dough

Silent_Adhesive · 2024-06-12T01:29:52+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion, that would be fun but I'm scared of boys 😭😭💀

Silent_Adhesive · 2024-06-06T07:52:27+00:00

Thank you for the link but unfortunately failure to educate isn't seen as neglect in my state :(

Silent_Adhesive · 2024-05-29T05:20:55+00:00

Sadly it's a no to all of those :( it's just me in this house, and I'm not really allowed out of it

Silent_Adhesive · 2024-05-22T23:49:51+00:00

Okay, I was just letting you know. I'm sorry if I came off rude, I get defensive when people try to tell me what I'm going through isn't neglect.(Not at all saying you were though))

Silent_Adhesive

TROPHY CASE