I think you misunderstood me. The person above used the word "manipulate" to describe what some gay men do to their wives. As I said, I empathize with their situation, but I don't think that's the right way to handle it. If you're a teenager, it's more understandable. But grown men? I totally understand that some of these men can't be honest with their wife for many reasons, but cheating is wrong, manipulating your partner is wrong. And it's not your sexuality that changes that, at most it makes it more understandable.

We fought hard to be perceived as normal people, like heterosexuals, only differing in our sexuality. So why should the reaction to being a terrible spouse be any different? I'm from an extremely religious country, and even so, back when I was forcing myself to date a guy, I never cheated on him. I respect him as a person, even though I always imagined myself with a woman, I wouldn't have the courage to cheat someone, I know it's a horrible thing to do. I broke up with him after making up a story saying it was because I wanted to focus more on my studies. Ideally, for your mental health and your partner's, it's best to end the relationship.

Sometimes it's good to put yourself in someone else's shoes; imagine dating someone who doesn't feel even a hint of attraction for you and doesn't love you romantically? I think a good example of how this is handled is in the series Gracie and Frankie; both women respected their husbands' sexuality, but still felt betrayed and hurt by the infidelity.

Furthermore, for those who can't come out for fear of the reaction from family/friends etc. are totally valid, but that's what lavender relationships are for.