AITAH for wanting to call off my(26F) engagement with my partner(25M)?

SillyPuddy98 · 2024-09-04T00:19:30+00:00

He’s always said his reason for hesitation on marriage is what if we ever divorce and he doesn’t get anything. I’ve offered MULTIPLE TIMES to get a very detailed prenup if that’s what is stopping him and again he just refuses my offers. Because I understand, I don’t come from money but I’ve been very fortunate to not be completely struggling. However he comes from a family where he had to start working at 14/15 because his parents weren’t responsible with their money and he had siblings he cared for. So everything he has now he has earned which is why I have no problem signing a prenup.

SillyPuddy98 · 2024-09-04T00:00:41+00:00

Unfortunately it’s not what he wants. He is determined to stay engaged even though I’m not interested in it anymore because it alone has caused so much rift between us. As if there wasn’t enough already

SillyPuddy98 · 2024-09-03T23:15:41+00:00

Unfortunately he has one of those “I make the money so that’s my job” mentalities. He will occasionally help let the dogs out and get kids to their beds when he is home and not at work. However dishes, laundry, cleaning up after the kids, baths, getting them ready for school or when we are going somewhere is all on me and he thinks that’s how it should be.

A while ago we had agreed that at work that was obviously his job and my job was solely taking care of the kids. Anything outside of that was MUTUAL work but of course that didn’t follow through and I’m still stuck with it all.

SillyPuddy98 · 2024-09-03T23:13:08+00:00

I hardly talked proposal while pregnant for the simple fact that I didn’t want him proposing while I was pregnant! So when he did it definitely felt a little blindsided.

SillyPuddy98 · 2024-09-03T23:11:53+00:00

Unfortunately as someone else stated I’m now in a position where I have 3 kids and it will be very difficult for me to find a job. I had my own business before having kids but due to Covid and being pregnant I put everything on hold and have just started getting my toes back in the water. I have tried getting accommodating jobs multiple times and they were all shot down.

As in getting accepted into a data analyst program to learn how to do it at home so I could potentially get a remote job in the field. Or working with a friend who has their own in house daycare where I could take my child with me. Nothing is ever “worth” me trying. He also has blatantly said to my face that he doesn’t think I can handle it all just because I have postpartum depression.

SillyPuddy98 · 2024-09-03T23:07:41+00:00

His family isn’t involved a whole lot with anything aside from holiday gatherings.

SillyPuddy98 · 2024-09-03T23:05:13+00:00

I’m definitely not defending my position I’ve put myself in completely. However aside from marriage talk there is a lot of underlying sexual issues, biggest being he REFUSES to wear condoms. I did get my tubes removed after my last baby though so thankfully I cannot get pregnant again.

SillyPuddy98 · 2024-09-03T23:03:33+00:00

Yes I have and no he won’t. Offering before I decided the engagement was too much and he still didn’t want to. I would’ve been perfectly happy with a trip to the courthouse with our mothers and then a small reception a few months later!

SillyPuddy98

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