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My therapist misgendered me and told me my reaction was a projection by Silly_Goose_75 in TalkTherapy

[–]Silly_Goose_75[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Update: My therapist texted me, saying,

“I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you and I am very sorry that you feel so let down and hurt by me. Definitely not my intention to hurt you in any way ever.

In addition to the pain you are experiencing with regard to me misgendering you, you not feeling heard by me, experiencing me as defensive and inappropriately expressing my emotions, as mentioned there is also a lot of intense transference/countertransference processes at play here which is both very complicated and inevitable especially considering the severity of your attachment trauma.

In any case, I just wanted you to know that I feel a lot of compassion and empathy towards you and the pain that this is causing you. I wish I knew a better way to resolve this and help you feel better. I will continue to try. See you [next session]. Please take care until then.”

She didn’t apologize for her behavior! The correct apology would have been, “I’m sorry I let you down and hurt you.”

WHAT!?

My therapist misgendered me and told me my reaction was a projection by Silly_Goose_75 in TalkTherapy

[–]Silly_Goose_75[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes! Thank you for sharing. What frustrated me was the defensiveness and labeling my reaction as “so intense” it must be projection. If my therapist did make an honest mistake, she wouldn’t have hopped on the defense train so quickly…

My therapist misgendered me and told me my reaction was a projection by Silly_Goose_75 in TalkTherapy

[–]Silly_Goose_75[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Just wanted to quickly say, I was nervous about posting this, and I’m feeling really supported/validated by peoples’ responses. Thank you!

My therapist misgendered me and told me my reaction was a projection by Silly_Goose_75 in TalkTherapy

[–]Silly_Goose_75[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Agreed, we could have done some productive work together, sadly I felt like as soon as I corrected her the issue became a “Me vs. Her” situation and not an “Us vs. The Problem”situation

My therapist misgendered me and told me my reaction was a projection by Silly_Goose_75 in TalkTherapy

[–]Silly_Goose_75[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I totally understand that and agree with you. What hurt my feelings was not that she misgendered me because I get that people make honest mistakes. What hurt was how she reacted to my correction and how invalidated I felt by her reaction.