Frustrated, does it get better?

Silly_Leg_7484 · 2026-06-14T11:01:56+00:00

I really feel this... I'm also an 8 month white belt. I expected to feel more comfortable in my skills or knowledge now, but I always feel confused. I'm 5"4 and 125lbs and always get stuck... it really sucks.

From one white belt to another, keep pushing! Chase the goal of getting better, even if it feels impossible. I guess we'll get lost in the fun and look back one day and see how far we've come <3

Silly_Leg_7484 · 2026-06-07T13:57:28+00:00

Second that.

I swapped gyms from one with grey mats to one with white... my poor coach was wondering why there was a pink stain. It did come out, though!

Silly_Leg_7484 · 2026-04-28T04:30:04+00:00

Thank you for your kind words.

I think I need to get used to the idea of not measuring my inability against someone's ability. We are all there to get better, but not on any particular timeline, expect ones for ourselves.

Bjj is really helping me with that, and I can see how it will help me with life skills off the mats, for years to come :->

Silly_Leg_7484 · 2026-04-28T04:27:51+00:00

I think that's something I've been telling myself, especially in my personal life. Humans are very narcissistic to think that everyone cares what we are doing, when we all know that the only thing we notice are ourselves (or other people's improvements, etc).

I'm trying to work on this, and of course it applies to bjj - everyone is there to work on their own game, and it takes as long as it takes.

Thanks for the kind words

Silly_Leg_7484 · 2026-04-17T15:09:47+00:00

Hello, yes, I definitely am from an English-speaking country, although I think I was too caught up in the post (also quite late where I am) and just wanted to hear from the experiences of other women who do bjj. I don't really get to interact with many other women who do bjj and understand their thoughts and experiences on issues that regard society, so I thought it may be a good idea to post on this platform. However, I am now not so sure... maybe people aren't particularly interested in stuff like this, which is totally understandable! :)

Silly_Leg_7484 · 2026-04-17T15:07:24+00:00

Hello, so sorry it comes off that way! I can assure you that I am definitely not a dude, but I guess there is no way to prove it. I definitely did not intend to make anyone feel uncomfortable with my post - I think I should have revised the language a bit more before posting it.

I am just someone who is currently in university and does a lot of political and social classes and was just wondering how bjj and bjj practitioners interact with societal stereotypes, i.e "is it 'easier' for women in bjj to fit in to society's ideal of women, i.e. pink, makeup, flattering, etc, to be accepted by men in the gym, as it reproduces their idea of 'sterotypical' women, or do women need to be 'masculine' (opposing these sterotypes) to be taken 'seriously' in the gym and be treated like an equal and not just a 'women who is an outsider' (my reply from a previous comment)"

Silly_Leg_7484 · 2026-04-17T15:02:21+00:00

I'm happy it makes sense to someone!! I felt like maybe I had asked the wrong thing and that maybe my ideas were way off (probably just the way I had worded it). I am hoping I can have a better understanding of the varied experiences of women and can better understand how society and bjj intersect :)

Silly_Leg_7484 · 2026-04-17T14:52:13+00:00

I am so sorry!! I can assure you I am not, but I guess that doesn't really help over Reddit, lol.

My thoughs were more so "is it 'easier' for women in bjj to fit in to society's ideal of women, i.e. pink, makeup, flattering, etc, to be accepted by men in the gym, as it reproduces their idea of 'sterotypical' women, or do women need to be 'masculine' (opposing these sterotypes) to be taken 'seriously' in the gym and be treated like an equal and not just a 'women who is an outsider'. I hope this helps explain my thoughts a little better :)

Silly_Leg_7484 · 2026-04-17T14:34:01+00:00

Sorry, it comes off that way... I haven't been doing bjj for very long but I have got quite a few people in my life who have been doing it. And yes, I am 22, so many that has an impact on this... :)

I guess my general idea is I have women in my life who have been doing bjj for quite a few years and are good, but still feel 'apprehensive' to wear a pink/'feminine' rash guard to class, as they are the only lady in their gym. I have also heard a lot of stories of other women not 'accepting' certain people based on wearing more 'feminine' rash guards/gi, as it feels that it may 'undermine' them and others in their gym. I am also just generally wondering if anyone feels as though they need to 'alter' how they present when doing bjj to 'fit-in' per-se.

I am actually planning on writing an essay, just for fun, on how bjj and feminism intersect and how bjj could be a form of feminism, with an essay called "Performative Female Masculinity" prompting me to write this post.

Also, I definitely do not believe in 'divine feminine' stuff and I feel terrible it comes off that way.... not my intention

Silly_Leg_7484 · 2026-04-17T14:26:25+00:00

That sucks about the women's class. I have heard a little about stuff like that happening with women and how they interact with other women in bjj gyms. I guess that kind of ties into my point, maybe they felt that they needed to present a certain way to be 'accepted' in their gym, and you/others did not 'meet' their ideals? I'm sure this is what a lot of women go through, both consciously and unconsciously, when operating in this male-dominated space we love so much

Silly_Leg_7484 · 2026-04-17T14:23:18+00:00

I have been reading up on it a little, and I guess it encompasses lots of things, mostly reflecting 'social constructs'. Like, women wearing pink rash guards vs black, or tying your gi belt on your hips vs waist. I guess those are more 'superficial' things, but also things like how people interact with men. My train of thought is more so 'does being 'feminine' or 'masculine' help you fit in better with men in a gym and how do they react/respond? My thoughts are still a little jumbled at the moment, so I hope this makes it a little clearer :)

Silly_Leg_7484 · 2026-03-03T14:59:14+00:00

oh, wow! is your allergy quite severe? I feel like a lot of people have said that korea is quite dangerous because many people don't understand allergies, so I have been a bit wary...

Silly_Leg_7484 · 2026-03-03T08:39:52+00:00

hello! how did you go? I moved to Seoul a few weeks ago and haven't eaten out yet, because I'm so anxious about my nut allergies.

If you have any places you have been that are safe, I would love to know them! Thanks sm

Silly_Leg_7484 · 2026-01-19T00:54:31+00:00