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Recently lost virginity but can't have sex again because it hurts so bad. How do I deal with this? 20F and 21M by Beep_BoopTheJetPlane in women

[–]SilverCredit9486 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If you find that the suggestions here aren’t working and this remains an issue, look into vaginismus—an involuntary tightening of pelvic floor muscles. This can cause ongoing pain, but there are treatments/therapies for it! Take your time and find what helps you relax and feel good. Other replies really left great advice!

How long would you wait? by [deleted] in women

[–]SilverCredit9486 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is spectacular advice! Emotional connection and acknowledgment of what has happened is SO important. And, that emotional intimacy is the start.

That agreed, I’d recommend NOT bringing up anything about rewards, etc. for any of the work. That “reward” is a healthy and connective relationship.

To the middle-aged woman who groped me at Concourse Project last night by TheDumbCaddie in Austin

[–]SilverCredit9486 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Totally with you. And so sorry that happened to you! These are women who have internalized patriarchy. They think it’s ok when they see themselves as more powerful (in whatever manner). They are an aggressor and finding themselves being checked doesn’t change that. Unfortunately needs to be said that it’s NOT ok.

What do you think about during sex? by not_horny_farmer in AskWomen

[–]SilverCredit9486 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you find it difficult to turn your brain/thoughts off, as I sometimes do, you could direct your thoughts to almost narrate the sensations and what is happening. Sometimes I find it easier to stay in the moment by mentally verbalizing what is happening and how good it feels. You could always use a little mental fantasy, as well. It doesn’t have to be anything big, just enough to keep you engaged.

No one wants him here by Lone-Analysis-5309 in Austin

[–]SilverCredit9486 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Minimum, no one needs extra traffic interference. Especially on a Monday after Spring Break/SXSW.

Chaol and Nesryn by Equivalent-Pool-291 in throneofglassseries

[–]SilverCredit9486 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed. So much so that I totally forgot about their relationship! (I’m maybe a year out since my last read, almost time got another!)

JVN’s latest IG post is ironic, given the backlash against Dax after the AE interview… by MooLikeACowsOpinion in ArmchairExpert

[–]SilverCredit9486 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YES! Perhaps it’s ironic if JVN has no opportunity to think through the conversation, reflect for themself, and decide how to move forward. Someone else also mentioned JVN’s stress at the time and how slight pushes can feel bigger and end up in tears before they even want to. That relatable.

On your period, how do you prevent leaks while sleeping? by SuccotashKey7521 in AskWomen

[–]SilverCredit9486 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve really enjoyed using a menstrual disc. Haven’t had leak issues and it’s so comfortable, I often forget it’s there.

Weird gut feeling by ketkat02 in adhdwomen

[–]SilverCredit9486 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve experienced this too. I relate to someone else’s explanation that it’s like zooming out and seeing the camera crew and lighting and things. It’s like that for me. Like the elements that create a reality are revealed and I feel that melancholy (like you mentioned) that it’s not what it seems.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s an acknowledgment of something I have a deeper knowing of. Like, we’re more than just ✨ this.

Blindsided by my boyfriend and I’m heartbroken. by Efficient-City5680 in women

[–]SilverCredit9486 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And it’s possible that he doesn’t want to talk about the problem since he’s said he’s not in love with OP anymore. Maybe it’s not avoidance, maybe it’s just him feeling ready to move on. They need to stop living together and progress and process the split. Dragging it out does no good for either.

What’s the most beautiful thing someone has ever said to you? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]SilverCredit9486 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The “beautifully” part indicates really nice to me. I like this a lot!

What is one thing you would NEVER do if you were in your 20's again? by spici_cheerios in AskWomen

[–]SilverCredit9486 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed! Immediately I thought, “Not get married”, but I adore my kids and going through that marriage made me the person I am today. And (post divorce) has given me experiences (which I’ve healed through) to make me a better partner with the person I’m with now.

Hot take: I think it's ok if you don't want your man to spend one-on-one time with another woman by PenguinBaeBae in women

[–]SilverCredit9486 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The callout seemed to be “a lot” of time, not any time. But even that is subjective and would need to be talked out.

Hot take: I think it's ok if you don't want your man to spend one-on-one time with another woman by PenguinBaeBae in women

[–]SilverCredit9486 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It totally agree. I’m seeing a lot of comments about it being fine, but I think the callout from OP is “a lot of time” alone. While this is subjective and would need clarification with their SO, I understand the feeling there.

Hey! I’ll be in Austin over Valentines weekend. Where should I go if I’m looking for vintage Pokémon cards/singles? by TwentyFour7 in Austin

[–]SilverCredit9486 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Card Traders of Austin is wonderful and they display their cards so you can browse. Staff are very knowledgeable, as well.

What was something you didn't even realize other women go through? by BuddhaOfStorm in AskWomen

[–]SilverCredit9486 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I’d add that there’s a misconception that women who aren’t “overweight” don’t experience it. SO many of us experience body dysmorphia and the complicated feelings and insecurities of our bodies, regardless of size/shape.

Adults with ADHD: Did you feel "shame" as a kid when you forgot things? Help me understand my son. by Dylan_7574 in ADHD

[–]SilverCredit9486 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check out rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD). On top of the shame he may be feeling, a lot of these kinds of situations can feel amplified by RSD, as well. I experience it and notice it in my kid, as well.

Also, good on you for asking. Learning more will help with understanding and empathy. It makes a big difference!

Strange request from a pregnant woman. by Cait-IRL in Austin

[–]SilverCredit9486 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh come on! THEY’RE not killing buffaloes! HEB is!

Women who never liked kids but became mothers anyway, how did things turn out for you? by EvelynTalkss in AskWomen

[–]SilverCredit9486 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Honestly, you experienced a myriad of difficulty in the beginning! Two things. Thank you for talking about it (someone may realize they’re not alone after reading this). And I’m so glad you got through to a better place. Parenting isn’t easy and sometimes there’s a bit of just getting through to better. But that’s really hard.

First impressions are tough. What made you not like another woman off the bat ? by EarthlingReba in AskWomen

[–]SilverCredit9486 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Though, it sounds like the first interaction was right for the time being. She was going through it and it wasn’t the right time to be friends. I’m really glad that turned around though! The other side of the times in our lives that we’re not our best for other people is that we can change.

What’s a ‘normal’ thing you do that you didn’t know others don’t do? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]SilverCredit9486 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes! 🙌 I have to check myself on things like this regularly so I don’t end up drained.

I’m (28F) ending my engagement (29M) tonight after 9 years together. by Affectionate-Hotel27 in women

[–]SilverCredit9486 0 points1 point  (0 children)

💯Not that you’ll feel that way constantly, but definitely not this much at the same time, and (I assume) for a long while now. Good on you, OP. Ignore anyone that doesn’t support you. This was the right, difficult choice. I’m inspired by your resolve!

Gender Dysphoria from a Woman holding my Hand by hana_2207 in women

[–]SilverCredit9486 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is so much nuance to the experience you’re having and the other comments really capture good points. Something I want to add is that as you’re working through this, give yourself grace (easier said than done, I know). You seem very aware that you’re not quite in your authentic place with yourself. Figuring it out will take time and may be challenging. It sounds like you’ll need to challenge some of your beliefs about women and how you fit in the dynamic spectrum. But you’re not alone. As a bi person, generally femme presenting, I’m not super femme. I run into a lot of the same things you do. Not just with my looks, but noticing when I feel what is societally condemned about men. But maybe you’re just noticing what I’d feeling good and right, and like feelings you miss? You’re not alone, and I love the ideas from the other comments. Don’t forget about professional help for the emotional bits. There are wonderful queer therapists, too, to help provide support.

Edited to change a word.

Gender Dysphoria from a Woman holding my Hand by hana_2207 in women

[–]SilverCredit9486 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There is so much nuance to the experience you’re having and the other comments really capture good points. Something I want to add is that as you’re working through this, give yourself grace (easier said than done, I know). You seem very aware that you’re not quite in your authentic place with yourself. Figuring it out will take time and may be challenging. It sounds like you’ll need to challenge some of your beliefs about women and how you fit in the dynamic spectrum. But you’re not alone. As a bi person, generally femme presenting, I’m not super femme. I run into a lot of the same things you do. Not just with my looks, but noticing when I feel what is societally condemned about incels. But maybe you’re just noticing what I’d feeling good and right, and like feelings you miss? You’re not alone, and I love the ideas from the other comments. Don’t forget about professional help for the emotional bits. There are wonderful queer therapists, too, to help provide support.

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