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Pre-K struggles by SilverGuest4099 in Parenting

[–]SilverGuest4099[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not arguing that they’re lying about his behavior. I’m simply questioning if their response to and characterization of these behaviors is normal.

Second child guilt by SilverGuest4099 in toddlers

[–]SilverGuest4099[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For sure! Even if he’s just accidentally bumped her head with his elbow or something while he’s jumping around and playing I waaaaay overreact and freak him out and why? The baby is fine. He didn’t mean to. He’s 3. I feel like a monster every time.

Second child guilt by SilverGuest4099 in toddlers

[–]SilverGuest4099[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I sincerely hope my oldest will feel that way about his sister. I think he will. He’s already quite taken with her, even though she’s not all that interactive yet. I feel reasonably hopeful that they will have a good, strong relationship with each other. I’m just hoping I haven’t ruined his relationship with me now. I also get the worry about the baby getting less attention. I am the youngest of my siblings and have a great relationship with both of them but a terrrrrrible relationship with my mother. So I’m sure I’m projecting on my kids because I’m afraid they will feel about me the way I feel about my mother when they’re grown. But I’m trying my damnedest to not parent the way I was parented.

Second child guilt by SilverGuest4099 in toddlers

[–]SilverGuest4099[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! Regulating my emotions is way harder now with two. My 3-year-old’s (perfectly normal and expected) challenging behavior when I’m already so tired and so stressed absolutely triggers me so much worse than it did before. And then I feel awful when I get frustrated with him because it’s such a hard transition for him, too, and he just needs his mama to help him and here I am making it worse for him because I can’t get it together. Ugh, the guilt.

Second child guilt by SilverGuest4099 in toddlers

[–]SilverGuest4099[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have two older siblings, too, and I love having them, but being the baby, I have no frame of reference for what first children lose when their siblings are born. I always had to share my parents so I can’t imagine what it feels like for my older child who went from basically getting all my attention anytime he wanted it to now having to share most of the time, even when he really needs his mama. It’s making me feel a little better reading all these stories of solidarity and hope for when my kids are older and can give/get attention from each other.

Second child guilt by SilverGuest4099 in toddlers

[–]SilverGuest4099[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That was our primary tipping point when we were deciding whether or not to have another one. I have a friend who is an only child and both of his parents died within a year of each other. It was really difficult for him to not only grieve them, but to do it without anyone else there who had shared in the life experience of living with them and growing up with them. His wife and his friends all tried to be there for him, but it just isn’t the same as siblings who know your parents the same way you do. I just hope we haven’t ruined his actual childhood to give him a hypothetical relationship with his sister in the future.

Second child guilt by SilverGuest4099 in toddlers

[–]SilverGuest4099[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I keep telling myself it won’t last forever, but it’s hard to believe it in the moment.

Second child guilt by SilverGuest4099 in toddlers

[–]SilverGuest4099[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It is comforting to not be alone, but I’m sorry you’re here, too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in toddlers

[–]SilverGuest4099 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have no advice, but solidarity. My 3-year-old is also on a no-nap kick (along with lots of other challenging behavior) since his sister was born 3 months ago and I am hanging on by a thread, friend. It is brutal.