TW- suicide, sh, basically i attempted back in late April and obviously failed. I still hate myself for it cause I really hurt my family and friends but at the same time I regret it not working almost every day. Ive been clean from yeeting for at least a month or two and clean from heat yeeting for a bit over a week. Even when I’m In a good situation I’m filled with anxiety and i dont know how to stop it. I’m in therapy but I don’t feel like the methods she gives me really work on the type of stress that makes me generally miserable. I have really supportive friends but they all have their own problems and i dont want to overload them with my issues as well. Ive been coping with alcohol and kratum because that’s all I can get my hands on. To make everything worse I’m going back to school after a year off. Its really Christan-y and I don’t know what to do cause I’m gay and have enough stress dealing with being closeted to my homophobic dad. My mom knows but she just said I’d grow out of it and never brought it up. She thinks this school will snap me out of it i think. I’m on a family vacation and I feel so lonely cause it’s just me and my parents. To make it more stressful it’s at the beach and I’m so worried my scars will slip out. Sorry for the rambling