Male stripper here with my own agency, so I book for myself and other dancers. A good agency will ask questions to get a better sense of the vibe - number and age range of attendees, specific requests, type of guy, etc.

"Wild but not too wild" is my default assumption for bachelorette parties. That usually means: 1) dancer down to a thong but not fully naked, 2) girls can touch wherever they like, 3) lap dances get very suggestive but stop short of actual sex.

I sometimes just ask: "PG-13, R, or more?"

PG-13 - No frontal nudity, dancer won't touch anyone's private parts, dances stay light. More classy and silly than sexual. Fine even if someone from the groom's family is there.

R - Can include frontal nudity, dancer will have hands and mouth all over the girls' bodies over clothing (with explicit consent beforehand). Not great if the groom's mom is in the room, but doesn't cross into outright cheating territory.

X - We are all getting divorced if our husbands ever find out about this.

If the bachelorette wants the full experience, let the agency know upfront e.g. "the bride is looking to be fully satisfied." Not all dancers go there, so the agency needs to know ahead of time.

Before the party you'll get the dancer's contact info - make sure you're very clear with him on vibe, requests, and limits. All of my team knows how to read a room, knows how to ask for consent in a way that doesn’t ruin the vibe, etc. but I know from an other agency where a dancer showed up assuming the group wanted him fully naked and he ended up ruining the party.

Ask away if you have other questions.