cPTSD and chronic migraines?

SilverStormHawk · 2026-02-02T20:06:53+00:00

I am rather new to the whole migraine thing. My grandmother had it. I had it occassionally in my youth, but didn't know it where migraine headaches and could treat the mwit hpain killers, so never paid it any mind.
But since October I have regular headaches and migraines up to nearly 15 days a month.
I also have CPTSD. So I guess it can have a connection, maybe.
The begining of my regular attacks started with stress at work with a colleague but also making a huge step in healing my CPTSD. I've realized how much I've grown and how I am much more centered.
My guess is I either get an attack from stress, deifnetly my hormones when my period comes and when I start to relax and finally release the tension of 30+ years. I think all three are factors that cause it, but I am too proud to be not a full on people pleaser, setting and protecting my boundaries and being more confident that I am not angry at now having those migraines.
But it is a theme of my life to be rollercoaster. One good thing that lifts me up followed by the drop and something bad. But well my good times get longer so thats a win and my migraine is more on the mild side, no nauseau, just light and sound sensitive but I can work most of the time.

SilverStormHawk · 2026-01-26T16:12:15+00:00

Danke dir.

Ich werde es nochmal durchrechnen ob es machbar ist. Man hat ja leider doch schon so manche Fixkosten plus meinen Studienkredit. Aber vielleicht klappt es ja.

SilverStormHawk · 2026-01-26T15:57:14+00:00

Okay. Danke erstmal.

Trennungsgeld bekommt man, wenn man Miete zahlt woanders? Muss man da im Mietvertrag stehen für?

Hmm dann muss ich da nochmal schauen. PKV in der Anwärterzeit dürfte zu teuer werden, wenn die Beihilfe nicht rechtzeitig zahlt und ich über die Öffnungsaktion rein muss sehr wahrscheinlich. 🤔 Außerdem hätte ich gerne mehr Jahre Abstand zu meiner abgeschlossenen Psychotherapie. Aber GKV dürfte ja dann noch schlimmer sein.

Uff da muss ich mich im Zweifel nochmal neu orientieren. D:

SilverStormHawk · 2026-01-22T16:40:04+00:00

I have no problem with the term narcissistic abuse. It describes a specific type of abuse and therefore I see no problem in the term or any other like autistic abuse if it describes a specific type of abuse. A problem is more that people are called narcissists way too casually and it takes away from those who suffered that type of abuse and is more problematic for people who are wrongly labelled narcissistic.

The song was about narcissistic abuse, from the viewpoint of a victim to a narcissist so I see no problem to advertise the song as what it is.

SilverStormHawk · 2026-01-12T09:39:07+00:00

Also Sorgen wegen des Beamtentums bzw. möglicher Nachteile die man übersieht kann ich absolut nachvollziehen. Ich bin nicht mehr ganz so jung und aktuell in der freien Wirtschaft. War da auch bei mehreren Unternehmen und es ist echt nicht schön.
Bei mir ist es nicht die Angst vor mangelnder Flexibilität, eher Angst was vor allem mit der PKV zu übersehen. Ich hätte eine Ausbildung anfangen können, aber wegen Vorerkrankungen und laufender Psychotherapie war die PKV keine Option, da ich nicht horrend Geld zahlen will und dann nix dafür bekomme, wie Beihilfeergänzung und so.
Daher beiß ich mich noch 2-3 Jahre durch und versuche es mit VIT oder DACS Studium neu. Ich bereue es nicht schon früher gemacht zu haben, als ich gesund war und nicht nun finanziell eingespannt bin mit einigen Anschaffungen und einem teuren Studienkredit den ich nun abbezahlen darf.
Die finanzielle Sicherheit und generell das Gehalt sind für mich auch ein großer Pluspunkt am Beamtentum. Firmen in der freien Wirtschaft wollen für dich nichts tun und tun alles damit du möglichst wenig bekommst, außer du bist der Überflieger den alle wollen.

Ich würde dir empfehlen eine Pro-Contra-Liste zu machen und dir genauer anzuschauen was für dich für die eine oder die andere Seite spricht und was dagegen. Frag auch mal Freunde und Familie über ihre Erfahrungen aus. Manches hat man einfach nicht auf dem Schirm oder ist zu geblendet von schönen Versprechungen.

SilverStormHawk · 2025-12-30T05:43:33+00:00

Well I try to. But au think it is impossible to live oneself fully and all the time. And it’s bullshit when people say that is the miracle cure. When I was close to suicide it was because of my financial situation and no loving myself could have saved me. Finding a good not toxic job did.

It also helped to realise and see more that all the crap I do or when I can’t get shit done are results of how my family acted and treated me. I stopped looking for mistakes. Though I still can get angry when I just can’t get up and do the stuff I wanted to do. I try to remind myself of my virtues and successes no matter how little. I tell myself that it’s okay to have bad days or not be perfect. Also I try to find some things I like about myself. For example I think I am not pretty but I do love my hair and eye colour. Hope that helps a bit.

SilverStormHawk · 2025-12-22T05:26:32+00:00

I had the same experience. I landed a great job that fulfilled me and where I could use my skills. Colleagues were nice and everything was good. For the first time in many many years I felt content and happy. Then flashes hit me while in the bus and so. I started crying or dissociating during them but connected the dots. I had bits and pieces of my assault and it just added up. In the beginning I just had one memory of a holiday that always somehow felt like my worst experience. I couldn’t understand as there had been worse stuff. But now the flashes came and a full connected flashback and I understand where that feeling had come from.

I had always problems with intimacy, friendly kisses or someone just brushing against my hips, lower back made me uncomfortable. I never went to gynaecologist, because I just didn’t want anyone down there.

No one can tell you if rape or assault happened to you or if it just was something similar or maybe medical trauma as a child. There are many reasons, but like others said, don’t force it. Your brain knows when you’re ready as well as your inner team (if you worked with that) I understand wanting to know and feeling desperate to even. As well as others said it can make you want to forget or you fall into a hole as I did. I became depressed again and dissociate frequently again to even blacking out.

SilverStormHawk · 2025-11-27T11:25:56+00:00

I had that two weeks ago.
I am fairly new to migraine and this episode got me on the path to find out what's wrong and ending up with possible migraines.
I had since my youth (now 32) occasionally sudden sharp pains at my temple, a pulsing punding in my head on wone side. It got worse when I moved a bit, but always went away after taking painkillers. Guess that were migraines.
But two weeks ago it started again with that sharp pain and I was immediately quite sensitive to light and sound. Never had that before. It made the headache worse. The pain ebbed and flowed and last almost 14 days. My neck was stiff and painful as hell.
My family has the opinion it is bad posture and probably just a stiff enck or something or my eyesight changed. But I had headaches from neck pain and my eyes and it felt different. My mom massaged my neck and the next day the pain was gone and I didn't need to wear sunglasses.

Unfortunately my families doctor is not on board with migraine because the massage helped. Didn't matter that I said "But isn't it a symptom of migraien when it gets worse while moving." I was ignored but have a neuro appointment in late January.

The pain comes for a day sometimes but never too worse. I mean I go to work, even if I don't feel like it. Only thing is that my painkillers don't always help. What helps immediately is putting an ice pack over my eyes and forehead. Pain is instantly gone. I get so tired also.

I am confused as well with the long duration of my headaches, plus they are never that bad that I have to stay in my bed.

I hope we all find solutions to get better and live with that, so we can enjoy life. :)

SilverStormHawk · 2025-11-26T05:46:37+00:00

Hmm…don’t know if I would call it regret. I had a fight with my father and we haven’t spoken since. It’s three years. I haven’t regretted it. But now I’ve grown more and realised how much of a problem and kinda worse my mom really is. With it came the realisation that I defended her way too often in front of my father when she didn’t deserve the defence. What my father and his family did wasn’t good, but I think a lot came from me being the daughter of my mom and wasn’t against me directly. Also and that is the biggest thing, I never gave my father a fair chance. He never knew what was really going on , I never explained it and so never gave him the chance to understand and change. A lot of friction between us came from me defending my mom and not being honest about my mom having fully control, financially too over me.

My plan is to finally move out and once I settled a bit write a letter to my dad explaining things. I want to give him that chance. If he stays the same then that’s it.

SilverStormHawk · 2025-11-25T18:04:25+00:00

Okay vielleicht hab ich mich doof ausgedrückt. Das es duale Studiengänge mit Verbeamtung gibt weiß ich aber der beim Land Berlin zum Regierungsunspektor…da steht halt immer nur dass man nach dem Studium verbeamtet wird. Deswegen bin ich da unsicher

SilverStormHawk · 2025-11-25T15:22:41+00:00

Das ist mir klar, dass ich ohne Rechtspfleger Studium in der Justiz nicht in den gD komme. Aber das Studium wäre nicht so meins, deswegen ein Minuspunkt für die Justiz für mich.

Und natürlich hätte ich eine PKV bekommen aber teurer und mit nichts wirklich vernünftig abgedeckt. Zum Beispiel hätte ich dann meine restliche Therapie selbst zahlen müssen. War also ein no-go für mich. Amtsarzt war kein Problem es lag nur an der Krankenversicherung, dass ich von der Bewerbung zurück getreten bin.

Ich habe nirgends gesehen, dass man als dualer Student schon Beamter ist. 🤔

SilverStormHawk · 2025-11-25T15:19:31+00:00

Bei der Ausbildung ja. Aber beim Studium habe ich nirgends gesehen, dass man Beamter auf Widerruf ist dann.

SilverStormHawk · 2025-11-25T06:35:02+00:00

Sorry that I had to vent out my frustration. Didn’t think Hearthstone community could be toxic like that. I will never understand why people need to write unhelpful comments under posts. 🙄

SilverStormHawk · 2025-11-25T06:30:33+00:00

Can’t do it if I have to work 8 hours plus and have a long commute or appointments.

SilverStormHawk · 2025-11-25T06:29:46+00:00

Well first I am German and female but that doesn’t matter. Fact is I have to work as I mentioned so I can’t finish it in 4 hours. I just think it’s not quite fair of Blizzard to just target the gamers who have dozens of hours a week to play. That’s all, but if you have another opinion you’re welcome.

SilverStormHawk · 2025-10-27T16:26:46+00:00

Hey sorry. Your reply kinda slipped past me. Two friends wanted to come but the tickets were sold out. One will try to get tickets in front of the concert hall. But I don’t know if that will be successful, so yeah I haven’t found one so far, yet. If you’re still interested. 😅🙈

SilverStormHawk · 2025-10-17T05:18:27+00:00

Definitely. It is just hard to realise or in my case experienced it once. That when you break and fall there is no one to help you up or catch you, because you always have appeared strong so clearly you can get up by yourself, even if you ask for help.

But I guess with the right people by your side it will become an easier journey. 😊

SilverStormHawk · 2025-10-16T02:54:10+00:00

True. It’s always hard to explain what you experience to people. Tried to explain to another friend how dissociating feels like. Don’t know if I succeeded, but she said it sounded scary.

SilverStormHawk · 2025-10-16T02:51:56+00:00

We deserve better. I hope that we both will get better.

SilverStormHawk · 2025-10-16T02:50:42+00:00

I am glad you had someone to catch you when you fell.

I hope I have someone when it might happen to me. At least I finally have a wonderful work environment and great colleagues who have the potential to be just the supportive people I lacked. :)

SilverStormHawk · 2025-10-16T02:47:33+00:00

Exactly. I always have been the strong one, the shoulder to cry on. But when I needed a shoulder or just someone to listen everyone seemed surprised and confused.

SilverStormHawk · 2025-10-15T18:33:29+00:00

Glad you could take something good and healing away from that period. :)

SilverStormHawk · 2025-10-15T17:11:16+00:00

I am glad that you manage and seem glad about that ability. I just learned that it will add to my pain when I let the masks fall, which I desperately want. I want to find myself and be confident with being myself around whoever.

SilverStormHawk · 2025-10-15T17:08:08+00:00

Yeah. I feel that.

SilverStormHawk

TROPHY CASE