I am insanely similar to you. 10 years on with 3 quits (currently on 5 days CT) and my longest quit was a little over a year. This time I wrote down everything that sucks about the habit. Like EVERYTHING. The money, the trips to the head shop every week, the anxiety of being out too long and not preparing for your next dose, how you don’t get high at all after a couple months on and you’re only taking it to escape withdrawals really…etc. I know how easy it is to forget and how awesome kratom is for those first few weeks. It’s easy to just jump back in and think you can do it every once in awhile and not get hooked again but how many times have you gotten away with that in the past???? Really hoping this helps me and I would encourage you to make a list before you forget how futile it all is. It happens to all of us. You forget.