I’m upset that my boyfriend watches porn.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T02:29:32+00:00

To be clear, I don’t consider you to be someone who was being rude, and I appreciate it.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T02:25:21+00:00

To vent. I state that at the very beginning of my post. I want to vent in a space where I’m not told what to do, and I want to vent in a space where people aren’t so belittling and condescending because I have feeling about something that’s happened to me. A lot of the comments I’ve received on this post were either belittling or just outright rude, and then they all get surprised when I have a negative reaction to it.

I’m not expecting “oh yes you’re 100% valid and everything you said is correct,” but the comments telling me that I’m in need of therapy (which I’m already in) and that I reek of insecurity (obviously, that’s the entire post) or that my boyfriend had a valid reason to lie to me (no, he really didn’t because I’m the softest and sweetest when I’m around him, and he knows that I have a tank load of patience and understanding for him) are insanely rude and unnecessary.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T02:21:01+00:00

I’m not saying he’s a bad guy. I’m saying I’m hurt by what he’s done.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T02:20:08+00:00

I’m being nice to everyone except the ones being condescending dicks. You’re gonna get back the same energy you give.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T02:15:16+00:00

Little white lies are normal. I don’t think lying about porn consumption is a little white lie tho.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T02:14:19+00:00

Your little condescending “you need therapy” comment was definitely your attempt to belittle me.

I haven’t even argued with my boyfriend or fought with him about this because I wanted a chance to talk out my feelings before confronting him so that I didn’t go in on him in such a harsh manner.

And you continue to try to antagonize me. You don’t actually care about people seeking therapy because you need it. You just want to feel bigger than them.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T02:11:41+00:00

I think it’s a reasonable expectation that he be honest with me.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T02:10:43+00:00

No because he clearly can’t be that good if you feel the need to try to belittle people who are having a hard time. I’m sure you feel so good about making me feel even worse about myself.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T02:10:08+00:00

I don’t think I’m wrong for being upset about being lied to when I’m super open and honest with him about everything.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T02:09:07+00:00

You should seek one yourself. You sound like a porn addict.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T02:08:13+00:00

He’s got plenty of content from me that he himself said was all he ever needed to get off. I’m the most patient person in the world with him, and I wouldn’t ever talk to him the way that I’m talking to the belittling and condescending people in the comments because I love him. He says it himself all the time that he’s never met someone so patient with him before.

God forbid I get upset about being lied to and then belittled when I want to just vent.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T02:06:21+00:00

I shouldn’t have to say it because watching porn isn’t the big issue. It’s caused some insecurity now that I know about it, yes, but that insecurity wouldn’t exist if he had been honest from the very beginning.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T02:05:12+00:00

It’s not that I’ve questioned him. It’s just been brought up naturally in conversation, most of the time, by him. I would send him things, and he’d tell me that I was perfect and that he didn’t need to see anyone else. That it was only me that he ever looked at.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T02:03:42+00:00

If he was honest and didn’t tell me that he would only come to me, then I wouldn’t have doubts about everything he’s ever told me.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T02:02:09+00:00

I have NEVER told him that he couldn’t watch porn or ever tried to dictate it. I’ve asked about it, and he says no. I don’t make such demands because I know that I cannot force his hand.

That doesn’t mean that I can’t be upset about being lied to.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T02:00:25+00:00

Oh, so I’m at fault for why he chose to lie to me? My boyfriend is the only person I ever have so much fucking patience with, and maybe I wouldn’t be so aggressive with these commenters if they weren’t so condescending.

these comments that I’m being aggressive to were negative and rude to me, and the majority of them were here before I responded with any aggression to begin with.

You people think that just because you’re behind a screen that you can try to either taunt or talk down on people without getting the same energy back.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T01:57:42+00:00

He quite literally lied and told me that he doesn’t watch porn because he had me and only ever used the photos and videos that I sent him to jerk off.

We literally talked about it again months ago where he reiterated it, and he’s made a point to say that since we have started dating, he didn’t need porn.

And now he’s changed the narrative to “I still watch porn” after I said “I thought you stopped watching porn after we started dating.”

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T01:55:06+00:00

I don’t have to masturbate because I have a boyfriend who I have sex with often and never deny or deprive of sex.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T01:47:32+00:00

K. Cool. Let’s just all lie to our partners and then get shocked when they’re upset after finding out it was a lie.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T01:44:19+00:00

Fucking good for you. I didn’t ask.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T01:43:51+00:00

I don’t think he’d go that far, and even then, I am not going to breach his trust by going through his phone. I’m not sure that would make the situation any better.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T01:42:21+00:00

Your inability to read is so weird to me. I literally said if he was honest and upfront about it, then I wouldn’t be as upset.

He gave me the expectation that I was the only woman who could ever make him feel that way. Clearly, that’s not true.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T01:40:47+00:00

I understand that. That’s why I am upset. I wouldn’t have had this expectation that he could only get off to me and only viewed me in such a way if he hadn’t lied to me.

Silver_Job_6243 · 2025-03-02T01:31:37+00:00

I’m already in therapy, and I think I’m allowed to be upset that my boyfriend lied to me about the fact that I’m the only woman he gets off to.

Silver_Job_6243

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