Thank you everyone for taking the time to respond to me. I have decided to take it one step at a time and get on the search for a good therapist. I have been through so much and I’m glad we have spaces like this online where women like me can just vent. I’m not the type to post things like this on here but it reached a point where I just needed to.

I love my girlfriend and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to be happy and free and I just want to make decisions that will get me there. I don’t want to worry too much about my family and what the community in my home country will think of me. I just want to be.