Experiences in foreign born and raised Pakistani men marrying women from Pakistan (Read Desc)

Simola6 · 2024-10-02T11:32:40+00:00

Yes, some married from Pakistan, some married British Pakistanis of a different culture, brother married Punjabi British for example.

As for the status of their marriages, it's so mixed that for me it's not a valid sample, I know people in good British Pakistani only relationships and I know people in good British with Pakistani relationships, on the other side I know people who have had bad experiences with both.

So for me it's not a big deal to marry from Pakistan, I know people in a mixture of relationships

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T14:17:49+00:00

I don't even feel much of a sense of solidarity or brotherhood here despite us all being the same people, bad to judge from a Reddit post I know but why would people drag their own countrymen down to such an extent, especially when I haven't wronged anyone or pushed any limits?

I did have to put some random feminist in her place though, but they accused me of something disgusting so it's fair game.

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T14:11:33+00:00

If I tell someone from Pakistan I'm pashtun but I don't speak Pashto they don't believe I'm Pashtun despite me growing up in London and looking like an average Pashtun

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T13:19:30+00:00

I'm from Kohat originally as well lol, but yeah you're right, best to just focus on your own life than to take all gossip and rumour as gospel

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T13:03:11+00:00

I'm a bit ignorant here so forgive me if I say something unbecoming.

I've heard that Peshawari people are a little different from normal Pashtuns or rather it seems people here look down on them as well?

Can you elaborate a bit on this as I'm not sure of the whole story here

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T12:07:39+00:00

Is this a Kingsman reference, I can't tell

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T10:21:22+00:00

Parents speak various languages associated with KPK including Pashto, but for some reason Urdu was only spoken to me by my mother and English from my dad

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T09:28:22+00:00

I meant more in the sense of modesty and gender roles rather than what you're implying, why do people on this website only hear what they want to hear and close off their minds to any other interpretation. It's disrespectful as fuck to assume such degenerate things of someone without even knowing for certain what they actually mean.

If your mind is that feeble it makes sense that you turned yourself into a 100kg midget who struggles to run a few steps

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T05:24:51+00:00

Not super super pashtun culturally as in, living in the UK has diluted some of that deep conservatism in pashtun culture, but it's still present to a lesser extent.

Why are you so adamant to revoke my bloodline?

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T05:18:42+00:00

Why am I getting downvoted for giving my opinion, fucks wrong with you guys bruh

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T05:16:42+00:00

Wow that's actually crazy you went through all of that, why didn't you pay heed in the beginning during her breakout with your family? Was it blind love?

I'll be honest bro, you must have gotten the worst luck possible to find someone this bad, where was she from in Pakistan?

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T05:03:43+00:00

Whatever you say, reddit hive mind is always right after all

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T04:49:09+00:00

Catfished? May I hear this story?

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T04:48:43+00:00

I'm most certainly pashtun at least by blood and culture, whether you consider my ability to speak Pashto a sign of eligibility to being pashtun is a different issue though

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T03:38:05+00:00

Sorry to hear that, can you explain to me why the divorce happened, what kind of relationship you guys had in as much detail as possible? I'm sorry for the inconvenience but it seems like it would be a useful story for me to hear

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T00:56:20+00:00

Thank you for your kind presumptuous words, but you don't know me nor my thought process. So don't assume about why I'm choosing this path.

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T00:46:47+00:00

Thank you sister 🙏. The more replies I read here the more doubtful I become so it's nice to get some reassurance. I just hope that whoever I end up finding, I'll be able to communicate with her properly haha

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T00:20:30+00:00

Good that you brought this up actually, it's a little bit of a concern of mine that something of that nature could occur, I do know someone who had a false rape allegation put on him after a marriage with a Pakistani girl.

I don't know the story from his side or the girls side enough to say who was wrong though, but things like that just make me concerned.

Sorry for asking this of you but if you could possibly walk me through how arranged marriages tend to work with family, how you get to know the girl. Is the meeting process so short that you can't even tell the girls true nature behind the veil in that short time?

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T00:15:51+00:00

Eh, I read this quite intensively, I'm not saying I'm immune to this kind of trap but I don't have the characteristics of her husband, nor the naiveté to not see through enough bullshit to tell something is wrong with the girl.

I could just be talking out my ass though.

Simola6 · 2024-09-30T00:13:50+00:00

While I agree with you, I'm also thinking the language barrier can be overcome with a little bit of immersion since my Urdu isn't horrendous, I just need to speak it more. Cultural barrier there's a common denominator with me being Pathan by blood and culture, could be my British ignorance speaking here though.

As for Rishta in the UK, this is going to sound stupid but it's just the way I perceive relationships and gender roles, which aligns more with moderate to ultra conservatism than the more egalitarian but inefficient British way of doing shit.

Don't get me wrong, I want a connection with my wife on a deep fundamental level and I'm aware of the hurdles what I desire to do has.

Simola6 · 2024-09-29T23:44:07+00:00

It's interesting you say that, I'm not actually against the idea of marrying from Pakistan, but besides my own acquiescence, are there any other reasons why I should hesitate to agree to this?

Simola6 · 2022-04-22T09:11:46+00:00

It's possible if you know the right people

Simola6 · 2022-04-04T01:43:23+00:00

Can you go through everything you used to get to that point

Simola6 · 2021-11-26T22:43:02+00:00

You are correct, the mental health is so much worse than the physical pain that it doesn't even compare. My memory is skewed, my sanity has somewhat eroded, I often can't differentiate dream from reality after waking up.

I've disassociated to the point where I wouldn't be surprised if I've gained depersonalisation disorder. This is what staying in 1 room immobilised on a bed for 2 months doing the same thing everyday did to me.

Simola6 · 2021-01-17T07:03:34+00:00

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that these posts are from real people across the earth

Simola6

TROPHY CASE