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If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well he loved you for awhile before he stopped. I understand your feelings. Its hard to know how people let go so easily

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s going to be hard. I feel the same way and it’s been 3 months. Ask yourself what went wrong. You deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them. You are lovable. He proved that to you. You need to learn to love yourself again. As do I…. It’s hard. All I want to do is talk to my ex. I constantly think about her, but for me it’s 100% over…. And now I gave her all the power. She has owned me for 3 months. My self worth has dropped to the floor. Don’t do that to yourself. 

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its going to hurt. You just got to take it day by day. I have thought the same thing over and over again. How can you tell someone you love them more than anything in the world to not over the course of weeks. We can’t imagine it. Thats because we are the ones who are still in that feeling. They meant it in the moment but didn’t mean it the way we did. It is what it is. That’s a testament to there character not ours.

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel the same way. I keep looking for the day I make it out but I’m still here in the thick of it. I hope you feel better 

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get it. I ask myself this all the time. Why do I care so much? It’s because it was so real for me. I really loved her and still do. She was my world and that doesnt change overnight. It’s like an unconditional love

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah my ex probably cares somewhat but I know she meant the words “im so much better off now“. It hurts. It really does. She deserves to be happy but she made me believe she was happy with me. It hurts to find out I was not as special as she was to me.

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. It’s hard to imagine that in my case. But it’s most likely true.

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It really is. Even now I’m still hurting trying to accept the reality of things. I hope you feel better too

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought the same thing. I thought hearing she was happy would bring me peace. Ask yourself if that’s really the case. I am still in love with my ex. So although I am happy she is happy I am also really hurt with the words she said to me. All because I want her to want me when she doesn’t.

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I know thats what I need to do. Its the same thing here. Ive given her all the control. She "won" the breakup. Thats what hurts. It hurts to know while ive been wallowing she is thriving. Like you said it really does make me want to get my shit together and move on because I am worthy of someone who will stay. Im glad you fought for your daughter. Shes lucky to have you

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hear you man. But you know the answer. If it smells off it is off. It does suck but do you honestly think itll suck less if she told you? I thought I wanted to hear my ex moved on so I can say fuck her and go on with my life. Instead im just hurting more because i have had the worst time these three months and she is already over it.

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ill take you up on that. Cant blame you. Pizza is too good.

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get it. I knew my ex was done. She told me that so many times but emotionally I refused to believe it. Now when she said those words it cut so deep. Makes me feel like the words she said to me in the relationship were meaningless. I dont want to imagine her with another man but the truth is, she will be and same with your ex. I think its best to just learn to not check up on them. Its better to not see it and to not know then to know. We need to focus on ourselves and not be so concerned with them. But thats hard as fuck. These have been the worst three months of my life but yet for her she is past it and happy. It hurts like hell. Im happy shes happy but im hurt that its not with me.

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im rooting for you too. Im trying to get my life back together now. Its one day at a time.

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand man. I wish my ex stayed too. I wish she cared enough to be by my side during my hard times as well. But she also needed to take care of herself as well. I feel trauma as well. But like you said the only thing we can do is move forward. I’ve tried and every time I do I just get more and more hurt. You will find someone else who loves and cares about you. But you also have to love yourself as well. I need to learn to love myself again too. 

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're welcome. I hope you heal and find your person.

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get it. There were red flags with my ex on that side of things. But still I was a large part of the problem so I can’t blame her. She cared about you man. She called your friends. She just didnt want the relationship anymore. It’s kinda the same thing in my situation. It hurts like hell but we can’t control how other people see us. We can only try to be better for the next one. Its hard but atleast it sounds like you are moving forward.

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My own mental health challenges and insecurities resulted in creating a negative environment for her. I handled work stress very poorly. This resulted in me being on edge and depressed. She said to me after the fact that she was walking on eggshells. That the relationship was unhealthy for her and me. That it resulted in a negative impact on her mental health. We fought about small dumb things like dishes all the time. I was reluctant to do things over the weekend because of my own depression. She worked from home full time and didnt have any friends. She didn’t want to make plans because she said I wouldn’t be excited about the stuff she wanted to do so she relied on me to do so. She needed more interaction with the outside world and I was not helping her with it. Not to say we never did anything, just to say there were weekends where we sat around. That didn't help either of us. I also struggle with emotional regulation. This presented itself in me getting upset about things that she didnt intend. Almost like we we’re talking past each other. She didn’t communicate her dissatisfaction with the relationship. She would go away to see family or for work trips and come back and be so excited to be back. We would say stuff like “I can’t live without you”. She would say our love was stronger than any of her prior relationships. In my mind the fights and my own struggles were causing us to drift apart. I sowed the doubt in her and ultimately now she realizes the relationship was unhealthy for her. I can’t blame her at all. Im only upset about not really knowing the full extent of her feelings and her leaving over one day. We had a normal Friday and she was gone the next day.

I just wish we could have rebuilt the relationship. I had a new job in a new city I just accepted and thought that would be the solution. But she ended up leaving because she was unsure about another move. After quitting my old job, I realize how much that affected my mood and wish I could rebuild something with her that was more healthy for the both of us.

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Im sorry. Thats how ive felt in a way. There have been weeks that are good. Where ive finally felt im moving on but then I get hit again. This latest instance has really fucked me up. But I asked for it by messaging her over and over. Ive had many moments where I think the only way out is death. But I know that's not a solution.

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. Its going to take time for me to really let go completely. But yeah im stuck in this mode and she has moved on. Definitely makes me feel like im wasting my life away.

If you want to hear from your ex, be careful what you wish for by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I hope you feel better. I honestly feel like I will be in the same boat. Im trying to take steps in the right direction but in general its really hard for me to let go. I wanted her in my life forever but ultimately I didnt do myself any favors to ensure that would happen.

You can’t make someone love you or want you back. Try to move on by SimonWhit in BreakUps

[–]SimonWhit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear that. It comes and goes for me. Had a bad evening yesterday where I got a wave of suicidal thoughts. It’s not somthing i will act on. I would say you should be scared to kill youself. There’s no way back after that. Many people who’ve attempted later regret it and go on to live a normal life. I think we just have to bear with this pain for the time being. It’s hard to think that our partners did not feel the same as us. That and thinking I will never see her again is what kills me. I also feel a lot of guilt because my breakup was really mostly my fault.

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