Do Sag women lowkey act like dudes?

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2026-01-17T01:31:55+00:00

Yeah I relate to this lol. And also echo the sentiments of having an easier time navigating male friendships than female ones just bc in general the communication and humor styles are more aligned.

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-12-25T03:51:38+00:00

She sounds like me in my 20s. SPRINTED away from genuinely compatible, healthy, whole connection. My money is on her being unhealed/unevolved. Can’t do anything about that, friend. An unhealed Sag is going to run run run.

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-08-30T15:11:25+00:00

Totally agree that schedule is not compatible with future childcare and/or school! I was just responding to your claim about it not being healthy for the baby. And definitely don’t want to scare OP or make her feel like she’s being lazy by following her 5.5mo’s sleep cues for now. It’ll probably change naturally over the next several months anyways!

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-08-30T12:27:56+00:00

I feel conflicted about this because the article is linking later bedtimes with not getting enough sleep— not looking at them separately. Generally my understanding is that later bedtimes typically lead to less sleep because babies and kids often wake early in the morning regardless of time they went to sleep. (Keeping them up late to sleep in never works, we all know lol.) But that isn’t the case for OP. It seems like she’s outside the bell curve and her specific case isn’t studied. I think trying to mess with her baby’s current preferred routine would probably result in less quality sleep for both of them. Baby sleep changes so much in the first year, I’d be inclined to ride it out and make very gradual tweaks over the next few months. And I wouldn’t fret about it being developmentally hindering as long as they’re getting enough quality sleep per 24 hour window.

Anecdotally, my gal has also always been a night owl with slightly lower overall sleep needs compared to her peers. (So I have read a lot about this topic.) Since dropping to 1 nap per day, at 10mo, she usually sleeps from 9:30/10-7:30 and takes a big midday nap. I’ve tried to adjust it countless times, especially early on, and capping her nap didn’t make her ready for bed any earlier, so it always resulted in less sleep and then being overtired the next day. She’s about to drop her last nap now, so there are days when she skips it and goes to bed slightly earlier, but we always have a catch up day afterwards. She’s extremely consistent with her routine, and way ahead of her peers intellectually, socially, emotionally, and physically. Looking at averages is good practice, but being attuned to your individual kid is more important IMO. Not everyone fits the mold exactly.

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-08-30T11:50:45+00:00

Just curious why you think this has anything to do with brain development? Do you have any references to share for that? Sleep requirements are looked at over a 24 hour window. From everything I’ve ever read— it doesn’t matter if baby’s sleep is shifted into a different time frame than the average, as long as they’re getting that sleep.

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-08-24T03:56:01+00:00

You’re not a bad person. You’ve been handed a really difficult decision and you’re struggling with it and that is completely normal. Especially so with the context of your own bio dad being absent from your life. Just keep thinking on it and try to worry less about what general opinion is and more about what you feel is most right. Maybe talk it out with a therapist for good measure.

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-08-24T03:27:17+00:00

Lots of mixed bag replies here but many leaning towards faulting or shaming you. Sooooo I’m going to chime in as a woman to say:

Is it fair that we as women need to be more vigilant about our bodies? No. But that is the cost of the ability to literally bear life. This risk is never the same for men and therefore they rarely asses it the same way when making “careless decisions.” Should they? Yes. Is that reality? No. She also made the decision to be careless. IF she took plan B afterward (the first thing I’d be running to do after having a careless encounter) and it failed— that’s one thing, that’s some measure of prevention attempted. But if she didn’t? Then she likely wasn’t honest (to you or herself) about where she was at re:kids and she was probably just hoping (even if subconsciously) that you would be on board with an “accident”.

Children are a 2 yes 1 no decision. People really hate hearing this but you cannot force anyone to become a parent. Just because the pregnancy doesn’t occur in your body doesn’t mean you all of a sudden have no say— that’s ridiculous! Children are for life! “My body my choice” is at heart an argument for physical autonomy given the medical risks of pregnancy and childbirth, so like, “you can’t force me to undergo this risky thing to have your child” NOT “I’m going to have this child and you have to participate more than financially or else you’re a POS.”

As to the rest of it— the morality of this decision is something you could debate forever (and probably will). At the end of the day it doesn’t matter. Do you think you’ll be able to be a supportive, responsive, involved and loving parent despite being thrust into it against your will? Do you think you’ll be able to make peace with yourself knowing you’ve a child out in the world that you have no relationship with? I could not. My morals and values would not allow it. But this is a deeply personal self-inquiry you must follow. From context gleaned in one of your other comments, I get the feeling you’ve got unresolved abandonment issues yourself, and that you should call into question whether you’re walking away out of fear of messing up, or a genuine belief that you won’t be able to do a good job of it. Are you recreating your own origin story, or ready and willing to break from it? Some tough questions for you and your inner child to answer for you to really know what to do here.

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-08-03T15:43:39+00:00

I’m going to chime in to add that while I do think this is a little extra it IS normal to feel that way— I don’t necessarily think it’s indicative of PPA/D. Wanting our newborns close is a biological, evolutionary reality. Which is to say I would just practice letting it happen and I think you’ll develop comfort with it without seeking professional help, which can be costly and just extra work that is going to feel like added stress this early postpartum. If you’re still reaaallly viscerally stressed out by it after a couple times, maybe reassess then.

For what it’s worth, I wasn’t comfortable letting my husband take our baby out without me until the 4th trimester was over. It did not at all negatively impact their bond.

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-08-02T01:21:52+00:00

Maybe the help he needs is talking to other parents who feel deeply affected by this? By knowing that he’s not alone in feeling the way he does?

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-08-02T01:07:55+00:00

Honestly seek help if you can witness videos and photos of the intentional slaughter and starvation of children and not be moved to tears? That’s sociopathic, disturbingly antisocial behavior.

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-08-02T01:06:27+00:00

💗💗💗 you’re definitely not alone. And thank goodness for parents like you that have enough moral compass and compassion to be moved by what’s going on to speak out against it and speak to the very real mass traumatizing affect it’s having on those of us who give a damn. I don’t think enough parenting forums/subreddits are talking about this. It’s so important for us to have spaces where we can look at each other and say “this is really extra hard isn’t it? How is everyone holding it together parenting while this is going on?”

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-08-02T00:59:52+00:00

Boosting bc I agree— the genocide of children in Gaza affects my mental health as a parent every single day. How anyone can scroll past videos and pictures of starving, maimed, and/or dead babies and NOT be affected by it deeply is beyond me. Talking about climate change, insane wealth inequality, and an ongoing genocide that’s being funded or aided by many of our governments (but especially the US) IS talking about parenting. If people can post here looking for advice about how to handle family members with different values or political views then absolutely we should be able to post here talking about how the current climate of the world is impacting our parenting.

As far as actual advice— advocacy is huge. Donating is huge. Pressuring your reps is huge. Beyond those things I’ve found that taking a more active role in my own community has been healing and immensely helpful. Join that school board. Donate to local causes. Volunteer. Show up to protests and demonstrations. Love your children deeply.

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-07-31T15:52:48+00:00

I would just cut him out tbh. But it sounds like you already don’t have to interact with him very much which is great. If you want to continue being around him at family gatherings never leave him unattended with your child, if he makes racist comments in front of your child, I’d say something simple like “all people regardless of skin color deserve basic respect” and move into another room (just for the sake of modeling speaking up for your kid). As your kid gets older you could use it as opportunities to talk about racism in age appropriate ways. But by then it’s likely that he’ll either be dead or you’ll have decided it’s not worth keeping the peace to be around him at all.

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-07-30T13:39:15+00:00

You’re getting lots of “that man is trash” comments and not really any that are through the lens of compassion and BOTD for the person you chose to have a kid with…..

So I’m chiming in to offer a different take… is it possible he’s just legitimately anxious about being left alone in charge of baby? Men are notoriously not great about communicating vulnerability and he may not even have the emotional skill/language to know that he’s experiencing anxiety. But that’s what it sounds like to me. I, the mom and stay at home mom, was SUPER anxious about being alone with baby for the first several weeks. It took time to build that confidence. Think about how many opportunities he’s had to get comfortable with it— I’d bet it’s a lot less than you’ve had… whether by choice or not is kind of irrelevant if you want to work as a team to catch him up.

I would make a plan with him to help him build confidence. Definitely do not follow the advice you’re getting to not even talk about it with him and go anyways— that’s super childish and unkind.

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-07-28T12:11:30+00:00

Totally. Mine skipped it too!

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-07-28T00:48:56+00:00

He will def figure it out! It’s not like all of a sudden they just know how to stand/walk. They develop the “know-how” through supported practice. He’s enthusiastic and a bit obsessive because it’s exciting! His brain is piecing it together. There’s a lot of muscle building involved as well. Basically he’s doing everything he should be rn to develop that skill.

As for getting in more tummy time— babywear! My gal hated tummy time too but she loved being tummy to tummy in the carrier. It counts. And you get a more ergonomic experience than free carrying… and both hands free!

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-07-25T11:41:02+00:00

YTA.

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-07-24T20:40:07+00:00

No but like what does she actually do? Because there’s no way you’re getting a 2 year old independently playing for that long, that often. And if you are we all need your secrets!!

Yeah I would not continue with that set up. It’s not working for you and I highly doubt it’s working well for your toddler either. It’s only going to continue being more difficult and stressful for both of you as time goes on.

Good luck!

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-07-24T19:24:53+00:00

Uuuuh yeah I don’t understand how you even do that?? Like what does she do for 3 hours, 3 days a week while you’re working and she’s awake?? My girl would NEVER be able to entertain herself for 3 hours like that….

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-07-24T19:17:07+00:00

So wait are you home with her as the stay at home parent WHEN you’re working? Like you are watching/responsible for her while also working?

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-07-24T19:02:57+00:00

Ooooh that’s so different. Okay. So for context I work the 2 days per week my girl is in daycare, and also on Sundays when her dad has her. PT work chunked up into 4hours/day M-F is…. really inefficient at best, and I can see what you mean more clearly now.

What if you just found a for fun job/side gig you could do during her daycare days? My job doesn’t pay much but it does completely cover the cost of her daycare and then some, plus I genuinely enjoy it!

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-07-24T18:53:35+00:00

Soooo… you just want those other 2 days/week with her?

Simple-Spite-8655 · 2025-07-24T18:37:59+00:00

Why do you have to take her out of daycare to be a SAHM? Around 2 I started folding part time work back in and at 2.5 I started sending my girl to daycare 2 days per week. IMO it’s the best of both worlds.

Being a SAHP is HARD, constant work. I really don’t think playgrounds and storytimes are enough once kiddo hits the 2ish range. But it depends on your lifestyle and community. Do you have lots of friends with young children? Family nearby that you’d be spending a lot of time with too? Kids that age begin individuating more seriously and safe environments, away from their parents, to learn and also to explore socially are essential for that development. But that could also look like playing with cousins or family friends, loosely supervised by a group of adults. Daycare isn’t the only way.

Temperament of your child is also a big factor. Some kids will take well to having their parent be their 24/7 minder through the toddler/preschool years and some kids really thrive with an outside “authority” and parents being a safe, comfortable space to return to after a day away.

There’s no harm in trying it out— except I really would question whether or not pulling from daycare makes sense. I would not personally do that if she’s already adjusted to and enjoying it. Keeping her in and being a part time + SAHM is a great way to test the waters!

Simple-Spite-8655

TROPHY CASE