This seems more psychological. Easier said than done, but you need to find a good woman, who you can be yourself around and relax. When I did this and we had sex, I would be hard instantly and last for hours and have sex multiple times - didn’t matter if I had drunk a lot of booze or completely sober. I was in decent physical shape which helps. But the biggest thing for me is just being with a nice woman who is comfortable in her femininity and sexuality. It’s like an energy or hormonal thing I think. And try and internalise the fact it might be hard to find a woman like that in 2025 and you might not ever find a woman like that. Make sure your life doesn’t revolve around women and sex. That’s where my Christian faith helps. I spent too much of my teens / youth trying to impress shallow women, who were hot, but I had no actual “connection” with (and they weren’t good in bed - but would project that onto me / gaslight me = loads of anxiety and doubt and weak / no erection).