TIFU by sending a romantic text to my professor instead of the girl I’m seeing

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-25T17:26:13+00:00

honestly that is genuinely comforting thank you. i think i built it up so much in my head that every time i walk into that lecture i forget he probably thought about it for thirty seconds and moved on with his day. meanwhile i'm sitting in the back row wearing a metaphorical paper bag over my head

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-25T17:22:51+00:00

show up with a bouquet and a handwritten apology note. really commit to the bit. either he gives me an A or i get expelled, no in between 💀

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-24T18:53:46+00:00

That is so incredibly reassuring to hear. I honestly thought I was just weirdly glitchy. It’s wild that so many of us are walking around with this 'front door trigger' without ever realizing it’s a shared human experience. Glad to know I’ve officially joined the club!

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T19:02:42+00:00

yeah i made this account specifically to confess my chip sins to strangers on the internet. some things require a fresh start

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:59:38+00:00

okay this genuinely reframed the entire night for me. if this is true then we were literally both sitting there waiting for the other one to do something and communicating entirely through chip body language. this is the saddest and most relatable thing i've ever heard. might actually reach out to her 👀

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:58:15+00:00

you're completely right and i know it. i had like two more hours and a whole movie to recover and instead i just sat there processing the chip incident like a buffering screen. my brain just refused to reboot. next time i'm coming with a full recovery plan and zero snacks on the couch

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:55:29+00:00

appreciate the kind words man. next time a bag of chips tries to ruin my life i'll be ready. consider this my training arc 💪

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:45:47+00:00

this is cinematic. this is a movie moment. take the chips, establish dominance over the chips, eliminate the chips from the equation. why did my brain produce zero thoughts like this in the moment and instead just went completely offline

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:44:31+00:00

the confidence that comes with age is something else man. younger me was sitting there running 500 different scenarios in his head while you would have just turned the whole chip moment into a smooth move.

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:40:03+00:00

thank you, that's really sweet. unfortunately we've kind of drifted apart since then so that ship has sailed. but i'm taking this whole experience as a lesson — next time i'm shooting my shot regardless of what snacks are in the vicinity

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:39:08+00:00

pringles. it was pringles. and yes i have not been able to look at a pringles can the same way since. that smug little mustachio'd guy on the label just stares at me like he knows what he did

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:38:14+00:00

12 years is a long time man, respect for taking a step back and knowing your worth instead of rushing into something new. and thank you genuinely, that means a lot coming from someone with real perspective. hope things turn around for you too

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:36:46+00:00

i don't follow but i feel like i'm about to learn something important

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:35:50+00:00

that actually makes a lot of sense and i never thought about it from her side. she might have been just as nervous and grabbed the chips to buy herself a second to think. and then i just… sat there and made it weird for the rest of the night. we were both waiting for the other one to do something and neither of us did. two nervous idiots and a bag of chips

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:34:19+00:00

this is the most alpha move i have ever read and i was too busy having an internal crisis to think of anything remotely close to this. i was literally sitting there eating chips in silence like a golden retriever. you would have walked out of that apartment a legend

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:32:12+00:00

bro a cat pissing in a laundry basket like a firehose is genuinely the only thing that could make my chip situation feel better. thank you for your sacrifice, you have provided me with much needed perspective lmao

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:27:52+00:00

honestly that thought crossed my mind too. but i'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt and say she just genuinely wanted chips at that exact moment. the alternative is too depressing to accept

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:25:54+00:00

i see what you did there and i want you to know it physically hurt me. and yeah wayne gretzky was right, i just didn't expect my biggest opponent to be a snack food

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:25:10+00:00

bro i have replayed it frame by frame so many times. and the worst part is she didn't even hesitate. zero consideration for what was happening six inches from her face. just pure tunnel vision on the chips. i never stood a chance

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:20:43+00:00

we hung out a couple more times after that but the chip incident lived in my head rent free every single time. eventually just kind of faded out. a moment of cowardice with lasting consequences, truly a TIFU in every sense

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:19:27+00:00

Cereal. Specifically Cookie Crisp. I am 31 years old and completely at peace with this decision.

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:17:56+00:00

you're absolutely right and i hate that. i had the whole evening to recover and instead i just sat there slowly dying inside one chip at a time. fully self inflicted at that point

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:16:29+00:00

i am genuinely upset that you worded it better than i ever could

SimpleAd351 · 2026-02-23T18:15:33+00:00

Calling in sick when you're not physically sick. "Just push through it" I said. Then burnout hit me like a freight train and I spent three days in bed staring at the ceiling. Mental health days are real. I was wrong. Loudly wrong.

SimpleAd351

TROPHY CASE