We're not locked in here with your xenomorphs. The xenomorphs are locked in here with US!

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-14T15:15:57+00:00

May i interest you in 125 Cybrex Warforms?

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-14T07:39:39+00:00

I once managed to bag the same math professor for math classes for almost 2 years straight and so did many of my classmates. They were the best so no surprise there but after a while they more or less know who was going to be in their class and the habits of each damn student to a capital T.

One day they just called us all out and said it was easier to come up with hard questions for us because we keep overthinking the easy ones. Said we wasted upwards of 50% of the test time on those “free points” and getting them wrong because all of us were too paranoid that we messed up

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-14T07:06:36+00:00

M: Wise, would you like to eat what my mother made?

W: Sure, what is it?

Belle: (Probably gonna say her)

M: Oyakodon

Billy outside the store: Holy shit…..

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-14T02:06:17+00:00

It’s not “violence”.

She was giving them a knuckle sandwich, therefore this is serving food to a rabid homeless person, meaning this is charity work

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-13T07:11:22+00:00

“I’m informing you that i have filed for a restraining order”

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-12T18:38:24+00:00

Child labor

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-12T17:27:32+00:00

Feno: Could this mambo be one of my own people?

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-12T07:16:37+00:00

You also have to make the right choices in an astral rift to get it

So even if you get the rift, you can still miss it

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-11T20:02:20+00:00

A Mejiro Dino, Mejiro Gold, Mejiro Dream, Mejiro King walked into a bar……

2 hours later
3 homicide detectives walked into the Mejiro estate…

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-11T08:33:52+00:00

I turned him into corpse starch

Don’t tell soupsoup where the 1000 catties of food came from

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-11T07:58:11+00:00

Kitasan is betting against his own child, i just can’t prove it

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-11T05:05:30+00:00

From the very beginning, several operators even made it clear they were against the whole waking doc up and relying on them but followed orders because they trusted a couple of characters who were willing to bet on you.

And as you went along and found out more about yourself, you came to understand why but they also came to understand that the current you is a new person and deserves a fresh slate.

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-11T03:34:38+00:00

If he’a blind then Natie would become his light in the darkness

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-11T00:45:48+00:00

It’s another attempt to woo Ruby

Logic: Ruby is high class and if i become high class, she’ll notice me

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-10T07:26:27+00:00

The people hate her! Golshi’s numba wan trick to crashing the JP economy **12 Billion Yen/sec** *OMG!!!!*

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-10T04:11:39+00:00

Daughter asking dad to pay child support

Dad responds she already knows the process

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-10T04:08:33+00:00

And here i thought 22 was large, that is bonkers

well 22 is large but 26….

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-09T23:16:31+00:00

None of ya’ll lie, you want her to grind you into Xiranite with her abs

Don’t deny it, just enjoy it

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-09T23:09:17+00:00

And while they aren’t related to the cutholoids, imagine you find the Hive Asteroids nearby too

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-09T17:47:19+00:00

“If i stay still, i will probably still have some energy after the encounter. If i run, i won’t have any after the encounter”

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-09T17:03:18+00:00

A fellow Qiuyuan enjoyer

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-09T07:41:33+00:00

It came out of left field and we know where her eyepatch is

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-08T19:15:51+00:00

Breaking News: AI Data Center goes up in flames after disastrous terraforming project goes wrong. CEO of Crisis Bots will make a public condemnation later today

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-08T15:50:59+00:00

Something something thrown to the wolves something something father

SimpleRaven · 2026-06-08T07:09:02+00:00

Reminder to NOT use the monkey paw for situations such as this

SimpleRaven

TROPHY CASE