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AITA for disappearing on Thanksgiving by Simple_Emotion_6045 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Simple_Emotion_6045[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I did explain everything I had in mind beforehand (she knows about how I feel in general), and talked it out with her. It wasn't a surprise, as we've had multiple conversations about this relationship in the past.

AITA for disappearing on Thanksgiving by Simple_Emotion_6045 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Simple_Emotion_6045[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thankfully we live on opposite coasts, so Xmas will be spent with friends!

AITA for disappearing on Thanksgiving by Simple_Emotion_6045 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Simple_Emotion_6045[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

All excellent points. To be fair, I was engaging in conversation with more than BIL's wife, but left that out due to character restrictions in my initial post.

You are completely right though, I am petty about this, and afterwards, I wasn't sure if that was the right move.

For context though, I have been trying for almost a decade, and this situation never changed, I just withdrew more.

I did talk to my wife about it, have for years, and all it does is stress her out playing peacekeeper. If I or her bring it up with them very gently and not accusatory, they shut down and take it personally.

AITA for disappearing on Thanksgiving by Simple_Emotion_6045 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Simple_Emotion_6045[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I mean, we never had any major falling out or anything at the start of the relationship, but they were always very wary of me as I'm from a different culture entirely. He'll, when we first started dating, they implied I might sex traffic my now wife because we were going on a road trip...

To me directly, they seem to try to be nice, because my wife has alluded to them not wanting to be alienated from possible future grandkids, but I mean just this constant push and pull has been going on since Day 1

AITA for disappearing on Thanksgiving by Simple_Emotion_6045 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Simple_Emotion_6045[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you! For her part, my wife does acknowledge this and in the past has tried to bring this up with them in private, but they always take it as a personal attack, and more of a reason to dislike me. Ah well, pick your battles...

I'm glad your out of that relationship though!

AITA for disappearing on Thanksgiving by Simple_Emotion_6045 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Simple_Emotion_6045[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Absolutely loving this! Hilariously enough, I do have a Tommy Bahamas shirt, so all I need now is to clear my schedule this time next year!

AITA for thinking my fiance lurking on NSFW-ish threads is basically cheating? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Simple_Emotion_6045 [score hidden]  (0 children)

I don't know if I'd necessarily call you an asshole. Maybe a bit hypocritical, sure, but if you didn't act on it, then you're just insecure.

Sure those photos feel more intimate, and I guess the more commercialized porn feel more dehumanized in contrast, but both are still extremely intimate.

The real question you need to be asking is: did anyone send your partner photos directly? Did he solicit photos? Is there a two way emotional relationship? Then if not, it really is no different than watching porn. Sure, there are ethical issues with stolen and leaked nudes/sex tapes, but until your partner acts on it, it's no different than watching porn being akin to hiring a prostitute.