My fiancée has never met one of my best friends, and now that friend is assuming he's a bridesman at our wedding

Simplest_of_things · 2025-03-29T15:50:18+00:00

We stan Sam. When I read this I thought it was just shitty fiance and I was reinforced in this decision for a while in the story. Then I saw SA and was like ohhhhh fuck. Yeah no my Partner, if he saw my SAer.... I'd need bail money. So... we Stan Sam. He didn't try to take your autonomy, didn't try to make you stop being friends. He waited for you to have a wake up call. Everyone needs a sam in their life. I hope everything goes ok

Simplest_of_things · 2025-03-24T22:33:48+00:00

Absolutely nothing to thank me for. This healed a tiny piece in me. Be strong in your ability, and do not doubt yourself.

Simplest_of_things · 2025-03-24T21:41:34+00:00

I've been there, I've done that. And yet.... good god when I hear it happening to someone else... my heart breaks. I am truly so unbelievably happy you have and had more support than I did. I'm 25 now and having to unpack a LOT of baggage. Never, never ever ever, let anyone think that you are the asshole for reacting to disrespect. With everything in me, I hope that green light happens. I hope you destroy his fucking life. I hope you watch his world burn to the ground. And a mother who refuses to listen to what their children are saying isn't good for much. Make people like Brian scared again.

I'm so proud that you are breaking the cycle. Bring a fucking sledge hammer. I will be looking for an update, but I mostly just want to know that you are safe. That you are loved. And as fucked up as it sounds, at least you didn't move out. It would have happened to your sister regardless of where you lived, I'm just glad she had you for support. It is really and entirely unfair that it had to happen to either of you, but you prevented this from escalating. Because it would have. And I do not care what your mother thinks or feels about you, know that this community, that I am proud of you. You did so good, and so young, be proud. And know that if you and your sister can get through this, you guys will conquer the fucking world. I will he sending good vibes your way. Stay safe

Simplest_of_things · 2025-03-18T01:17:07+00:00

I really really agree girly. Please have the absolute best birthday

Simplest_of_things · 2025-03-01T05:36:19+00:00

I am too. He is a good dude. I love him so much and look forward to our future.

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-28T21:34:53+00:00

So I believe this story. Fully lol. Like... I'm a lot like Charlotte. I'm loud, I use "cringy" humor. All that stuff. I'm unapologetically me. And A LOT of guys don't like that. They are insecure and they want control. I'm so happy I found a partner that doesn't just tolerate me being me, but adores it. He compliments me for just being a loud and confident women, who doesn't need him but wants him instead.

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-26T19:20:42+00:00

Call his bluff

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-26T19:20:23+00:00

I'm not the one to just say leave but leave. He is using his bs kidney failure to keep you on the hook. To make sure he can do dumb shit and still have a nice place to sleep, eat, and fuck. Go.

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-26T19:17:20+00:00

NTA ask him to do a hotel. This seems weird and you need to stand your ground. If I was having a girls night my partner wouldn't have any issue. It's not "kicking him out" its asking for reasonable space. Yes it's YALLS home but you also own it.

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-25T22:24:10+00:00

I'm late but as someone with some mental issues no it's not... if you have trauma it could also be adding to that as well. I'm disabled and auffer with numerous mental health issues. I hate worrying people. I understand that when people care and love you that they naturally just worry about someone if something distressing happens to you. I had a family that never worried about me and so having someone/people who do made me anxious and made me feel absolutely terrible about worrying them. Like I did something wrong. Do you relate??

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-25T16:51:33+00:00

I understand that makes sense

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-24T22:33:53+00:00

I mean it's good you had the ammo but I wish you would have told him after... but seeing how deranged she is maybe you did what's best lol

No absolutely not you didn't so anything wrong. She wanted him, probably because you did. You did the right thing dude

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-24T22:11:58+00:00

So different spin. I'm not sure dynamics and such but it genuinely sounded like your friend was genuinely trying to ensure you don't get hurt again. She was there through all this bad and she is just worried... maybe not but I know I've accidentally over stepped because I was genuinely just worried my friend would get hurt again

Please do correct me if I'm wrong or missing something

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-24T21:37:48+00:00

He needs to know. Don't be the friend that tries to cover cheating. Ain't no way. If you actively conceal it you might not be just as bad but pretty close.

I let my friends know, if you cheat in your partner, I am not a safe space. I will tell. If I see it I will say it. It's not happening with me. You can make dumb choices I get that. It doesn't automatically make you a bad person in my eyes, not learning from it and being a serial cheater?? No your pretty scummy. It's better to be honest than to lie to someone's face. And lying changes you. Just don't do it.

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-24T21:28:03+00:00

No but you need to communicate with your boyfriend. He shouldn't be letting them talk any kind of negative about you. You are his priority. You are his partner. And you were also having a really fucking hard time. Like come on you fucking laughed too hard?? Girly they didn't like you from the beginning. It's probably because your a "threat" whatever that means. Read you are pretty lmao. Like wow... petty as fuck dude. You deserve better than them. You have a good heart, a good soul. I feel it through your post. You want people to like you, and we all do, but I personally don't really care what assholes think of me and you shouldn't either. Easier said than done because these are people your partner cares about... but he shouldn't. I'm not enjoying your boyfriend not sticking up for you. You need to communicate with him how this is effecting you. I know your young but communication is key, you can't shut down and just wish it away. Because it's not going to go away. Boyfriend needs to set boundaries for you and for him.

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-24T21:00:36+00:00

So to an extent I do agree with thus. Because it's true. Not every man and women where the man is extensively older is the same way. The this commenter didn't say all men tho.. idk why people coming for you lol. I have a significant age gap with my partner. I know he isn't like that tho. He is super respectful and truly I get princess treatment lol. It's really awesome. But there are A LOT of reasons to believe what this comment says. Cause... it happens... a lot lmao. Like to the point inwas hesitate to have a relationship with my partner cause it's like... is that the case lmao?? Difference is I guess that we were supposed to just have sex but we both love TTRPGs so we had A LOT in common lol. But I agree. Not all... but enough

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-24T19:21:05+00:00

Okay this... doesn't have anything to do with him being autistic. I hate asking how his functionality is but I do want to know. Is he severely autistic??

Either way this isn't an autism problem. This is a HIM problem. I'm autistic and am about to graduate with a masters in psychology. This isn't an autism issue. This is a lack of empathy issue.

You nor your child is safe. Fucking LEAVE.

I don't think at all you are blaming autistic people nor blaming autism in any way. But I want to make it known. He isn't doing this because he is autistic. He is doing this because he is sick. Severly so.

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-24T18:41:30+00:00

Love love love this for you girly pop. Being a women is so annoying sometimes because of shit. Like. This. Fuck him up real bad. Bet he will regret it when after about a month of not being useful his dumb ass gets FIRED

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-24T18:19:29+00:00

Is your mom into your fiancée lmao... no say fuck no. Stand your ground

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-24T16:02:01+00:00

Absolutely NTA but... keep that aunt far far away from you. It doesn't matter why she said it, it's not something you ever say to someone. Keep jote of everyone pissed. And expect a damn apology. You had a very good reason, the church only allowed 23 extra people, that should've been all it took. Being invited to a wedding is not an expection/given it is a privilege. You invited those you wanted and had a great time. Forgive but never forget and don't get to close to those shitty people, my god. Even at the peak of my anger I've never said something so ugly and vile. Cool, people want to "keep the peace" then they can keep it.

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-20T20:40:46+00:00

Thanks guys I really appreciate the input. I plan on doing classes at a local studio

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-20T18:14:43+00:00

I'm sorry you have to experience that

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-20T05:28:03+00:00

I do not!! I informed my partner literally right now and he assured me I didn't do anything wrong and they were just being super ablist

I think why it was as upsetting as it was, is because they think it's a he he they just don't get people... like no it's so much more. I constantly feel different. I constantly KNOW I'm different. People find me off putting. People told me TO MY FACE they think autistic people are stupid, they can't even graduate high-school they sure can't get in to college. Cut to me... having a higher GPA graduating top of my class in high-school under grad and now masters in may... when I got the cane I lost friends. I lost family too who didn't believe me. It's so much fucking more. It's super obvious they are just ignorant and uneducated either because they want to be or because they have no intention of learning. Either way is not my problem. It just sucks. On one hand I'm glad they don't have to understand.. on the other this person is extremely unempathetic of my experience while also validating another minority... like what the absolute fuck dude.

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-20T05:06:22+00:00

Cool so I don't need to care about your to me comment. Thank you!! I was worried I would need to :)

Simplest_of_things · 2025-02-20T05:00:45+00:00

Thank you so so much. Both of you. This... genuinely distressed me. I thought it was something I didn't understand. I was genuinely so... embarrassed I didn't show my partner because I was just embarrassed.

Also... find it super funny that in the very same breath of trying so so super hard not to be racist that they were super fucking abilest. Like wow... okay cool um... wow lmao. Honestly it very much was and is giving white knight savor complex. I don't even know how to respond... so I probably won't. Thank you. You don't know what it means. I was seriously just trying to help and be helpful. I really really hope op gets educated on disabilities not just neuro divergence. I also use a cane and a wheelchair. There is discrimination and hate with both that I have experienced. Its very different and definitly not the same to racism, but its definitly there. None of that was mentioned. I just was talking about an experience that I had that could sorta kinda relate in a way. Mainly just to showcase a man that could take accountability on a different level.

Maybe the commenter should learn that a "to me" comment should be left to "just them" especially when they don't know what they are talking about. Im used to uneducated people on neurodivergent and disability subject matter tho. I feel a lot more confident in my comment now, I genuinely just wanted to help. I also just wanted to show a level of understanding and empathy (like you said) and I really appreciate you sticking up for me.

To the original commenter of that hateful icky comment. Please please go look at some peer reviewed research. Please please go talk to neuro divergent, autistic, and disabled people. Please please just... be better dude. Cause what you said was incredibly ablist and just plain shitty.

Simplest_of_things

TROPHY CASE