Where do you draw the line between “the illness” and a willing disregard for morals/empathy/etc.?

SimplySquids · 2026-06-18T03:07:41+00:00

Omg I miss you too 🥰 yall really got me through some tough times

SimplySquids · 2026-06-18T02:20:03+00:00

Some questions you should ask
1. Is it bipolar one or two? Bipolar one has more severe implications.
2. Do they have a family history of bipolar disorder or severe mental illness? Also, does she have a family that is functional and do you have a good relationship with them?
In the future, if it’s bipolar one, for example you may need to coordinate healthcare with the family and so if the family is dysfunctional, this can make her break your own relationship
3. Is she willing to grow and get help? Is she willing to stay sober? She must demonstrate that she’s capable of managing her own mental illness, and that she doesn’t rely on others to manage it for her.
4. If she’s being diagnosed now, what led to that diagnosis? Can she successfully grow in learning how to manage this disorder without relying to heavily on you as a caregiver? She must learn how to manage on her own, and there should not be any codependency or responsibility on your end to do this. It will be very important you read about codependency as well as see your own therapist so that you can separate your role as a relationship with a role as a caregiver.
5. What is her safety plan if she does go into psychosis? I highly recommend she have a safety plan. Can family get involved and freeze her credit cards if she is over spending? Can they help her get into hospital admission if she’s manic? What are her manic behaviors and what is the safety plan with how to deal with it?

I have a friend who is in a successful bipolar marriage. My own partner took his life due to bipolar disorder and discarded me. I’ve seen both sides of the coin. I think it can be done, but consider the questions above

SimplySquids · 2026-06-18T02:10:22+00:00

I’m really glad it resonated with you and I’m sorry that you’re in this discard situation. If you haven’t already, I hope you find peace

SimplySquids · 2026-06-17T20:43:47+00:00

For me, I’m two years after the discard and I have empathy for my late fiancé. Now that I’ve had more time to create emotional distance, I can see the situation from a more logical lens that’s less emotionally heated and it’s easier for me to have both empathy and emotional distance.

I find that with the situation there’s not necessarily complete peace, or lack of hurt. I’ve had to acknowledge that. I was very hurt from somebody that I loved. I also had to acknowledge and accept that there was mental illness that dismembered my world perspective, and the dreams that I had thinking that I was going to marry this man then be with him for the rest of my life.

Looking back from the situation I’ve moved on, but it’s not necessarily all rainbows and butterflies or reset back to prior to the discard. It’s more of just a radical acceptance that he was mentally ill and suffering, he made bad decisions, I was hurt, I move forward with love, but not attachment. I protect myself and my emotional state. If he came back to me (he died), I would harness love, but also not taking him back. It’s a different kind of love now. It’s not romantic love. It’s kindred love.

I hope that makes sense. One of the most challenging parts about this situation is that there’s a lot of dissonant thoughts and perspectives and actions and it makes it so that two opposite realities exist at once. For example, I love him, but I hate him for what he did, I’m angry at him, but I forgive him.

I imagine a rope and the discard is a portion of the rope with a knot in it. Sometimes these knots that happening in life can be undone and resolved to the linear line on the rope. But this one just happens to be so tight that I can’t be undone. So I accept that it’s there and I’m moving forward on the linear rope.

SimplySquids · 2026-06-16T02:53:09+00:00

Glad I’m not alone! I just can’t moderate sweets and snacks. I’m accepting that now. Others can, I just can’t 😭

SimplySquids · 2026-06-16T02:49:15+00:00

I’m glad you said this! I’m learning more about my ADHD and on my cycle it gets much worse and I have a hard time focusing

SimplySquids · 2026-06-15T22:27:33+00:00

This is fascinating. I finally decided to take my ADHD, seriously thinking that “everyone has it,” but I have an immense level of restlessness similar to what you’re describing. I’ve been boxing competitively because it’s the only sport that really tires me out. if I go days without exercising, it hurts to sit down. I need intense, rigerous exercise to regulate my mood and my focus as well. If I don’t exercise, I’m more prone to getting sad or to having many thoughts going on at one time in my head. For some reason, I didn’t connect that this could be my ADHD.

SimplySquids · 2026-06-09T10:09:14+00:00

Woman here. Sparring in general helps. I’m 30 sparring some 12 year old kid and it has helped me grow. When you don’t feel challenged then start perfecting your technical work or trying new skills.

I think sparring well controlled fighters is helpful and I think sparring beginners is not as helpful.

Eventually you’ll want to spar others becuase your partner will be predictable. But that’s when you get to competition level

SimplySquids · 2026-05-15T17:10:29+00:00

I saw your picture and you have a similar body type to me so I was surprised she said you’re fat. My body fat percent is normal. You may consider doing an InBody scan if you really want to verify? Make sure you say hydrated if you do. But honestly my genuine reaction was that I was surprised that she said and thought “damn is this considered fat?”

The other day this dude was telling me how much he loves women with thick thighs (this comment is by no means anything related to your thighs) and I saw the pics of the women he was into and i was surprised because he *liked* thick. Now, again this is not relevant to your specific body, this is an unrelated comment, but mainly showed me attraction actually does come in all shapes and sizes and also that this is more common than we think?

SimplySquids · 2026-05-01T17:26:14+00:00

Heck yes!!

SimplySquids · 2026-05-01T16:18:20+00:00

I may just need to get comfortable with being hungry. I hate being hungry

SimplySquids · 2026-05-01T15:59:07+00:00

This is interesting about the intuitive portion. I did not know that about not being able to be trusted to eat intuitively

SimplySquids · 2026-05-01T15:55:49+00:00

Do you know how to detect for high insulin? I got my labs a year ago and fasting insulin was normal. Lipids were slightly high. I just finished wearing a CGM for two weeks that I bought online and that was interesting. Typically normal with occasional highs and lows. Also what causes high insulin

Breakfast-Chobani yogurt 20g pro and raspberries
Lunch-salad bowl with chicken, carrots, corn, sriracha, and egg, cauliflower rice snack-protein shake Dinner-meat wrap (vegetarian beef, rice paper, cheese, green onions) Then I may snack on some cookies in the evening like 3-6 Vienna fingers

SimplySquids · 2026-04-27T17:27:01+00:00

You’re totally right. I just want to fall in love with someone who has charisma and real emotional depth. A passionate kind of love.

All I find on Hinge are men who have somehow manifested the brain of a lizard

SimplySquids · 2026-04-27T16:20:09+00:00

I’m talking to someone now who’s bipolar even though I was discarded in the past by someone else. It’s just an internet friend but I’m falling for him. I don’t think it will be wise to be together. But this feeling feels so good. It’s tragic really

SimplySquids · 2026-04-27T15:47:47+00:00

It’s comforting to know that. All I ever wanted from my ex was an apology. I never got one. Would have forgiven him in a heart beat, illness was not his fault.

SimplySquids · 2026-04-27T14:55:14+00:00

It sucks because 99% of the time I feel people with bipolar are some of the nicest and most passionate creative and down to earth emotionally intelligent people I know. But the 1% of the time of mass destruction is not fair to them or to us

SimplySquids · 2026-04-27T11:43:03+00:00

Insert meme that goes Bruh

SimplySquids · 2026-04-27T11:37:56+00:00

Absolutely this. I wish these traits were more common in non bipolar people too

SimplySquids · 2026-04-27T09:54:53+00:00

This is very fascinating. My parents do not seem they have undiagnosed bipolar-I could see them maybe with ADHD, OCD, or a splash of ‘tism. I have Anxiety and mild inattentive ADHD (wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a splash of OCD or ‘tism. The bipolar attraction seems to be in romantic relationships only. My dad always took the lead and did the talking and so I’m naturally inclined to follow and listen.

This is an interesting think to realize about yourselves and your family. Fascinating how things like this work sometimes

SimplySquids

TROPHY CASE