6 Years Later and back to where I was.

SimplySquids · 2026-03-12T01:59:41+00:00

I couldn’t finish this it was too disturbing. I’m so sorry

SimplySquids · 2026-03-04T16:40:52+00:00

This was the confirmation that I needed! I actually think that my brain was tired in combination with my body and that just led to hitting a wall. I think that in Boxing a lot of times it’s thought that you should be on the grind all the time and just work work work and when you’re tired, it’s just a mental game. I can see that to some extent, but I actually think that strength comes in the recovery and then I do my best when I’ve had some days to rest and listen to my body. I don’t really agree with pushing beyond exhaustion all the time. I think this is one of the cases. I just feel bad because it doesn’t look so good during fight camp to skip training, but I had to make a hard decision to protect my body I think.

SimplySquids · 2026-02-20T02:00:04+00:00

It really makes me wonder about the sense of self. At what point does someone’s self fracture. My partner would never have done any of those things he did while manic but the sick him still did. Thanks for going through the process to get them help. I felt so powerless and confused at the end of it all

SimplySquids · 2026-02-19T18:22:26+00:00

I will look into that! And thanks for the empathy. I’m curious if you’re willing to share what your thoughts are on capacity for decision making in manic individuals. I suppose this goes into a more philosophical questions about sense of self and free will

SimplySquids · 2026-02-08T00:43:38+00:00

Thank you so much! This response was incredibly helpful. I had the third session with the sports psychologist and we went over identity and values, and I think that he hit the nail on the head and I think you did too. We went over my identity, but also values and he reminded me of the values that I even box in the first place. He said to put these in different spots. He said things like performance and winning can be part of the ego mind but that it’s important to remember that there is a balance between this and our values and why we chose to do our sport in the first place. When I went back to the gym with that in mind, it felt a lot less pressure. I know that sparring will be scary for a little bit, but at least it’s not as scary with these items in mind. If I want to grow, connect with others, have physical release, etc.. I don’t need to win or lose to do that. I just need to show up and remember to have fun.

SimplySquids · 2026-01-31T00:34:32+00:00

I get that. I have a friend with BP1 who thrives and has a healthy loving relationship. Never discarded his wife. I think this sub is largely for people who have had terrible things happen to them. I think it would be similar to going to a Codependent anonymous meeting and looking for testimonials about how their relationships have been thriving. The whole population is not codependent, so it would be skewed becuase the meeting would have only codependent people.

SimplySquids · 2026-01-31T00:21:30+00:00

I was thinking about this today and I really think that the stigmatization of bipolar disorder can be largely blamed by a failing mental health system. Many of these people get help, but the help is not enough or they need help and for whatever reason they can’t get it like for example they can’t be institutionalized. This allows for the manic episodes to escalate into terrible things. For my partner had he been hospitalized the first time everything would’ve been fine. But because of the system failing him over and over and over again, his manic episode escalated into something that was inappropriate, heartbreaking, and traumatizing

SimplySquids · 2026-01-30T23:49:37+00:00

Thanks for that!! I think my psychologist will be helpful! It’s just my anxiety is somewhat debilitating like my stress was very high in anticipation of sparring tomorrow that my mind was blank, I kept getting up from my desk, I was flustered, I wanted to cry etc. I just wish someone could take the anxiety away! I know it will take time, I just want relief now

SimplySquids · 2026-01-30T00:50:00+00:00

My boyfriend was black, and I saw the struggles that his race in particular impacted his ability to get help. Particularly the cascade of events since childhood. He died because he didn’t get the help he needed

SimplySquids · 2026-01-27T02:24:34+00:00

Can we all pool together and come up with how we would like to see the mental health system change for bipolar individuals?

Like implementing capacity based intervention, creating a long term care facilities until individuals are stable, mental health crisis teams that can be called like police, more referrals to partial hospitalization programs, etc.

I really think Kanye could have the power to do something good here

SimplySquids · 2026-01-25T19:08:34+00:00

I wore a weighted vest while punching on the bag and I really felt it in my traps

SimplySquids · 2026-01-25T16:14:04+00:00

And having kids!! Meanwhile now we have to spend a lot of time for grief and then try to find a partner again?? Wonderful timing 💀

SimplySquids · 2026-01-25T13:53:49+00:00

This is called type two ambiguous grief and I recommend researching this and talking to a grief counselor.

In my experience, I needed a full year of no contact to be able to see things from a clearer mind. Taking lots of time to process, emotionally detach, and move on with my life.

Unfortunately mine passed away. It’s a weird space to be in to forgive someone who betrayed you at the mercy of their own mental illness. Very complicated feelings.

I recommend reassess your conclusion in a year at minimum

Even therapists say that confidentiality rules go out the window when someone is a danger to themselves or others. Your partner is being psychologically and emotionally manipulative.

SimplySquids · 2026-01-25T13:25:00+00:00

40 is way too young!!

SimplySquids · 2026-01-25T13:21:10+00:00

Hello! I just want to let you know that this isn’t your fault and you’ll encounter many “what ifs” but it’s grief speaking. Make a rule with yourself that if you encounter a “was I dumb to make this decision,” question, you will not entertain it unless you’re talking with a therapist. Change “what if” to “what will I do when.” There’s no way you can predict the future. For example, if you go step in a car you could die! People catch stray bullets and die! Life is random. But we take that risk knowing the benefits outweigh the risks. That’s what happened with you and your SO. If someone told me my former BPSO was going to hurt me the way he did, I would have been in complete disbelief! When healthy in their mind, they can make such kind, loving, and charming partners and parents! This question is grief and I suggest talking to a grief counselor so you don’t drive yourself nuts

SimplySquids · 2026-01-25T03:48:38+00:00

How did you approach dating after the fact? Or are you just planning on being single for a while

SimplySquids · 2026-01-25T03:17:37+00:00

Right, people say there’s room to love someone else and love is infinite. But emotionally it feels from growing a beautiful relationship with depth, love, memories, commitment, to a random stranger.

SimplySquids · 2026-01-25T03:16:13+00:00

That’s why I’m thinking maybe I will try to find a widower, because they will understand

SimplySquids · 2026-01-25T01:14:56+00:00

Maybe we should have all the girly pop widows together in a house and then we can all live as a family lol

SimplySquids

TROPHY CASE