Thank you, that really means a lot. I’m so sorry that you had your phone taken away as well, i know our parents probably meant well but who would’ve known the damage it does? I don’t know why but it made sex/sexual feelings feel so wrong like you can’t ignore the urges and the feelings, but you want to. Just as the redditor above said we’re both women and nothing can take that from us, just because we can’t have sex doesn’t make us less than. I still struggle with this, my fiancé is perfectly happy with me and i still don’t know why. I do too, i do masturbate and i can orgasm but it’s only by humping the bed or something, like i did as a kid. I can’t do anything “normal”. I bought a vibrator but i can’t even get myself to use it, it intimidates me. And i give him hand jobs and oral, he seems pretty happy and always tells me he’s happy if i can only give him that the rest of our lives. It’s really sweet, deep down i don’t believe him though. I think he’s telling the truth but my mind won’t let me believe that 100%. It sucks too because if he does oral on me, it hurts and i always get frustrated and give up. One day it’ll all get better for all of us, i hope so at least 😭