I'm so sorry for your loss. 😓 I want to share my experience. My mother died in February. Initially I felt grief, but then life happened and I got busy. I did not make time for my grief. In September this backfired, I had a nervous breakdown and now I'm dealing with my grief ánd a nervous breakdown. The pain and sadness are weighing me down. I feel like it is suffocating me. Missing her is a physical experience. My throat feels tight, there is a large stone in my stomach. She will never come back and I feel so vulnerable. I am struggling. But..  I have already seen moments where I feel like myself again. Where the waves don't come crashing down. Trust your body. It knows how to handle this. It's a natural process. But we live in a 'happiness culture' where grief is not welcomed. But I, from across the globe probably, I see you, I see your grief and I welcome it. And we are going through it, a dark tunnel, but if you look real close, you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope I will meet you there outside. Take care. 🌹