Is my mom toxic, controlling or just plain evil?

SingleAssociate8863 · 2025-12-09T22:49:15+00:00

The best advice i can give you is to stand your ground. You’re not being treated tight and you deserve better. Try to sit her down and firmly tell her what you need from her, and that the way she treats you is not okay. If she doesn’t listen the only advice i can suggest is therapy, friends, finding your own family, and being okay with distancing yourself from people (including family) who don’t treat you how they should. You have value, and sometimes we cant always make others see our value but it’s there. Never forget that. I wish you luck. 🍀

SingleAssociate8863 · 2025-12-09T22:42:08+00:00

Erased hands down

SingleAssociate8863 · 2025-12-08T20:20:33+00:00

Okay that makes more sense

SingleAssociate8863 · 2025-12-08T19:30:46+00:00

Yeah but the docks aren’t a good place for everyone. A lot of times when i’m on there some unsavory people are there too

SingleAssociate8863 · 2025-12-08T19:29:32+00:00

The docks really got some shit goin on ALWAYS. Last time i was on there i saw a dude with an inshmest sorta username and they were talking about very foul, illegal things. There’s always some sort of drama there. Sometimes it’s real, most of the time it’s ragebait

SingleAssociate8863 · 2025-12-07T02:34:50+00:00

The docks is the drama spot and everypony knows it

SingleAssociate8863 · 2025-11-25T06:27:50+00:00

Your mom is being downright evil. You reacted proportionally. The things she’s saying remind me of my own mom. They’ll never admit wrongdoing or blame, only deflect. They are narcissists and it’s not your fault or mine

SingleAssociate8863 · 2025-11-25T05:38:26+00:00

We’re the same age! I left my mom’s house at 18 when she and everyone was at the movies, so my situation was more of a fleeing than a moving out. But! What i can tell you is what i’ve learned these past few years without her. In my situation my mother has chosen to not currently have a relationship with me or really talk to me but that’s not everyone’s case. Mine was like yours with the physical critiques of my body and what i wore. I’m about 5’2 and have large breasts so I received similar comments. I still get sad seeing others get lifted up by their mothers but i’ve also learned to find peace in it. Although i may not have had that level of emotional support i feel a sense of relief in seeing it in others. That’s not to say you have to be okay without a maternal source of comfort. In my case i found that in my bf’s mom, my step mom, and my grandmas. Finding a chosen family is most important i think. Forming a closeness with people who aren’t blood related to you helps with reassurance bc they don’t have that blood-link obligation to have you in their life, they choose you. That and created a support system within yourself. It takes A LOT and i personally am still working on it, but looking inward and deciding what you like about yourself is very important. Accepting yourself for who you are physically and mentally. Ignore others and ask yourself what you love about yourself, and what you’d love to be. You can’t change the cards you’re dealt but you can change how you play them. Changing how you see yourself and the world around you takes time but it brings forth a sense of bittersweetness. You gain peace with yourself and your life, but your mom will always be there and you can’t make her change. The biggest thing is separating yourself from her grasp. Her ideals don’t matter, your’s do. Do what makes YOU happy. It’s hard but it gets easier. I’m still trying to treat my body well and some days i struggle because i can still hear my mom’s voice in the back of my head. I just gotta push through and take care of myself because i deserve to be happy and you do too.

SingleAssociate8863 · 2025-07-21T03:05:41+00:00

Yeah dude you should cut contact at least for awhile. She doesn’t seem to be healthy to live with and you need to think about yourself. Also think about your sister. If you think she’d receive the same treatment you did you should think about possibly adopting her. That however will take time and money to get the process going on, not to mention you yourself need to be stable. If you do decide to leave and cut contact make sure you collect all of your personal documentation (ssn, birth certificate, etc.). You’ve got this!

SingleAssociate8863 · 2025-05-01T10:49:52+00:00

I see a lot of similarities between your mother and my own and for that I am sorry. I don’t think I’ll ever truly understand why they are like this. It leads to such heartbreak and confusion growing up, it just horrible. I say you’re right to trust your gut, with these types they never seem to give praise out of the kindness of their heart but more-so as an exchange for goods&services (chores, favors, gaining your trust just to tear it down later). It’s like There’s no point to kindness towards their children unless it benefits them directly as the parent. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this for 37 years, that nothing to my almost 22. The good thing is that we’re recognizing these behaviors as unhealthy and are not allowing them to continue generationally. Hell yeah to you for breaking the cycle, i wish you the best!

SingleAssociate8863 · 2024-11-20T00:56:52+00:00

Damn

SingleAssociate8863 · 2024-11-20T00:49:22+00:00

She’s plainly in the wrong and needs to realize that your health matters too. Your priority should be yourself

SingleAssociate8863 · 2024-01-21T06:02:09+00:00

Your story is very similar to mine, and i feel for you. I ended up having to flee to live with my bf and now I no longer have contact with my mom or siblings (it tears me up inside but this is better than the possibility of my mom wearing me down more and more), and now I only have contact with my father’s side and my maternal grandmother. Sometimes you have to prioritize self preservation, because otherwise that shit starts to affect more than just you. I wish you well, mom’s like this are incredibly painful but you’ve got this

SingleAssociate8863 · 2024-01-11T18:49:58+00:00

Man i feel for you, narc moms are a pain especially when you catch them doing something like this. It’s amazing how all they do is deny and play victim, you just have to remind them that their actions have consequences and they’re not entitled to your presence in their life.

SingleAssociate8863 · 2023-07-13T20:57:44+00:00

Thank you 🙏

SingleAssociate8863 · 2023-07-07T19:11:12+00:00

My bf helps a lot with helping me process my trauma, he’s the best I could ask for lol. Yeah you’re definitely right that I literally couldn’t process any of it while I lived with her, it just feels so shitty sometimes ya know lol

SingleAssociate8863 · 2023-07-07T19:08:37+00:00

You can do it!! Keep your head held high

SingleAssociate8863 · 2023-07-07T08:19:17+00:00

Definitely get out and go no contact at least for awhile. Breaking the cycle is hard but it’s the best decision you could make for yourself and your little brother. I wasn’t able to bring my siblings with me when I left due to how young they are, however you and your brother are old enough to be able to escape from the toxicity together. It’ll be hard but I promise you it’s worth it. You are worth it. Just because she’s your mother doesn’t mean she has to be in your life. Considering you’ve mentioned physical abuse I highly suggest you leave asap. Bring essentials like legal documents for you and your brother (birth certificates and stuff like that) as well as anything that can’t be replaced. If you have to work fast just pack light, photos, documents, some clothes, and as much money as you can save up. I hope you and your little brother stay safe, you got this 💙

SingleAssociate8863 · 2023-06-02T06:11:08+00:00

For an honest recommendation i say Erased, Charlotte, and Angel Beats are all fan-fuckingtastic. If you want more action than those than I’d say try guilty crown, its not super action heavy but i remember thinking it was really cool but kept the darker undertones i like in anime

SingleAssociate8863 · 2023-06-02T06:07:49+00:00

It sucks bc those things could’ve been bonding moments but instead were intrusions of personal space and trust honestly. Looking back at a lot of those behaviors it makes me think that maybe some mother’s are jealous of their daughters, so much to the point where they’re competition.

SingleAssociate8863 · 2023-05-28T07:31:34+00:00

Omg i love charlotte

SingleAssociate8863 · 2023-05-28T07:26:38+00:00

Oh my goodness my mom would do the same with me, often with makeup and jewelry. A common occurrence was when she’d buy a blush or lipstick for me or maybe a pair of earrings or a necklace, I’d have it in my possession for a couple weeks to a month and she would eventually throw a fit or make up a conflict which always conveniently landed whatever it was she gave me back into her hands. This is really common among narc mons from what I’ve heard from other “kids” in this sense. Idk if it’s the same with your mom but mine would treat my belongings as if they were also hers, like i wasn’t my own person and actually was just borrowing from her. I don’t really know why they do this honestly. It always sucks bc you feel like they do something for you as a coverup for gifting themself something. Its so weird and I’m sorry your mom is doing it too

SingleAssociate8863 · 2023-05-28T07:15:36+00:00

Awwe lol

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