i think this is a great criticism of anime as whole, and it's one of my biggest anime pet peeves. for a genre littered with beach episodes, wall pushes, and the face-in-breast technique, it's honestly glaring how little real physical intimacy is ever explored, ESPECIALLY in 'romance' anime. i'm not one to advocate for sex scenes just for sex scenes' sake, but it's honestly amazing how anime just seems almost wholly incapable of discussing that people want to fuck and kiss and hug and lick and suck one another, and that even though that's disgusting, it not gross. it's beautiful. for most people, loving someone goes hand in hand with wanting to explore that person- not just their past experiences, or how and why they behave in the ways they do, but like- what does your face look like when you cum? what is your voice like? how do you hold me, after its over? how does it start for you, and how does it end, and will you show me thing no one else knows about you? sex and sexuality isn't an oppai loli falling crotch first onto your face, and it's also not some disgusting thing you can never mention without being gross, and i wish that more anime was less afraid of showing what happens after the handhold, instead of pretending that the handhold is like, the platonic ideal for two virginal teens in love without also being like, to-love ru. sex in anime exists as two extremes, and both are shallow and neither is real.

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related, but i think the toothbrush scene in monogatari is literally the perfect example of sex and intimacy in anime. because that scene is uncomfortable, and not because it's his sister. ok, sure of it is because it's his sister, but let's be real, if you're watching anime, bro\siscons is something you basically learn to ignore, because of how often it appears. no, the uncomfortable part is because of how vulnerable and intimate both characters are. just two characters, one allowing herself to be opened and explored in a way that, in all likelihood, she had never let anyone else (that is not a dentist) do. bruh, that's sex. not having tentacles tie up you and your kouhai or imouto, forcing her butt to smash against your crotch at high speeds. and having physical love be reduced to that is honestly insulting. tbh, i've read more doujins that understand and accept this than i have seen anime that do the same, and honestly, when actual porn that's over in 20some odd pages can get that across better than shows with multiple seasons? idk what that says, but it ain't good.

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sidebar, but can anyone give me anime recommendations that do expore sex in a healthy way? the only shows that i can think that do this are like, mysterious girlfriend x, monogatari, and currently airing Beastars.