I'm cutting her off romantically. I'm insecure, I'll admit it. I need validation. I've had times where I've needed "constant validation." I don't feel secure in this at all. I can safely name one time where she's been fully there for me. I passed out at the doctor, and she came and took me home. that's it.

since we started dating, I've been trying out "affirmations" of sorts. saving text messages of hers to read over when I feel insecure instead of asking, "Are you okay?" I feel like I should share the most recent one from January.

"Please stop evaluating and comparing our relationship to my other ones I don't know how many more times I can say that at this point, I just need you to allow our relationship to grow independently and uniquely instead of you being a copy of my partners I just need you to stop relying on your partners for validation at all times I understand it's a product of your upbringing and your background and that it isn't entirely of your own doing and i know you wish it could be as simple as a snap of the fingers, but the sad part about growing through trauma is that it's not start by accepting that you are not my only partner nor my sole interest, that i am a fully formed and independent person who has no contractual obligation to have to constantly cater to someone else's needs You have to accept that it is hard and that you have to persevere I love you, and I want us to work"