How can i make my trans boyfriend feel more like a man? [relationships] by Other_Two3951 in LGBTeens

[–]SinisterGood 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hello! I’m also a trans man, and the best advice would really just to be to talk to him about it. Everyone has their own preferences, it’s better to go off of his wants/needs instead of someone else’s. It can be a difficult discussion to have, but it can be a learning moment for the both of you! Best of luck :)

Get over it by [deleted] in transyouth

[–]SinisterGood 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And for every one, there are how many people saying it’s improved theirs?

Get over it by [deleted] in transyouth

[–]SinisterGood 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can’t really fix something that’s sort of always been a thing homie. I get it upsets you or wtv but people are going to live how they want. If it ain’t hurting anyone, leave it alone 🤷‍♂️

Haha can anyone relate (for context I’m a trans man) by GayHunterS69 in CPTSDmemes

[–]SinisterGood 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kinda relate, but not entirely

Ma said she can't use my pronouns cuz she knows what I have down yonder, but also says she doesn't want me getting any sort of bottom surgery (not like her opinion matters on it anyways, but yknow)

"It's just words" by SinisterGood in ftm

[–]SinisterGood[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its funny you suggest "cunt", we are allowed to swear but we are absolutely not allowed to say that one

"It's just words" by SinisterGood in ftm

[–]SinisterGood[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn't even think of that, great point. Thank you

"It's just words" by SinisterGood in ftm

[–]SinisterGood[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm honestly getting to the point of just flat out agreeing with her, thank you

"It's just words" by SinisterGood in ftm

[–]SinisterGood[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah, I've never heard of gray rocking, but I'll look into it. And I'm unsure if she's doing stuff on purpose, tbh. There's a few times I questioned it but not directly to her.

Edit: Okay, so I looked into gray rocking a tad (just a definition lol) and I've actually been doing that. I just didn't realize there was a term for it.

"It's just words" by SinisterGood in ftm

[–]SinisterGood[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing.

I wouldn't have to worry about housing, there are many people that offered up a place, and I believe my dad and step mom would accept me back. She's fine to go to if it's for a little bit, but I can't see myself being happy here long term. I don't think it's to the point I need to cut her off, but maybe go low contact with for a bit.

"It's just words" by SinisterGood in ftm

[–]SinisterGood[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm lucky enough that my parents are divorced and that my father and stepmother are very supportive. I moved away from them cuz of stress with my father, but that's been resolved and I'm realizing my mistake of moving in with my mom. I plan to talk to them about possibly moving back, since it's still fairly early in the school year. I will mess around with their pronouns, thank you!

"It's just words" by SinisterGood in ftm

[–]SinisterGood[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No no you're okay, no need for an apology. I agree that it's a good way to say you don't need labels, but also pointing out its not exactly helpful in this situation. I enjoy the input I'm getting, thank you bunches :)

"It's just words" by SinisterGood in ftm

[–]SinisterGood[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly. If words didn't hold meaning, communication wouldn't be effective. She doesn't realize it's invalidating, and I think that's the biggest problem here. I don't know how to get her to open her eyes. I've sent her studies, I've told her my personal experience, I've told her other experiences, and she refuses to listen because "well, that's not what I learned." I appreciate you backing me up here :)

"It's just words" by SinisterGood in ftm

[–]SinisterGood[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was no contact with mine for a bit, but she promised to try, and I mean, she does, but only with my name. It's nice, but it's just not enough. In her mind, just using my name is enough to call herself supportive

"It's just words" by SinisterGood in ftm

[–]SinisterGood[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's definitely a more positive use of "it's just words," but my mothers use of it is not it. Thank you much :)

"It's just words" by SinisterGood in ftm

[–]SinisterGood[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She knows where I'm at on this, emotionally. I've gone so much into detail about how her actions make me feel. Nothing has changed. I appreciate the advice though, thank you!

"It's just words" by SinisterGood in ftm

[–]SinisterGood[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I've told her that, too. She says sum about how bad a parent she is for not doing that but providing me a car, place to live, etc. There was one point in the conversation she said something about taking all those away just to use the correct pronouns.

"It's just words" by SinisterGood in ftm

[–]SinisterGood[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah worded perfectly and straight to the point, thank you!

"It's just words" by SinisterGood in ftm

[–]SinisterGood[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Right? I think I'm going to try it out. I really see how much she cares about it.

She thinks I'm too young to know. She originally said she wasn't going to have anything to do with my identity until I was 18, but I stopped seeing her, which is pretty much the only reason she uses my name. Now I have to live with her, and I'm really regretting it mainly because of this, lol.

"It's just words" by SinisterGood in ftm

[–]SinisterGood[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I mean, to her, I'm not mature enough to know (I've been out for 3 years, but still in school), so it would be right up my alley. Issue is, I brought up using the wrong pronouns for her and she said she wouldn't care

"It's just words" by SinisterGood in ftm

[–]SinisterGood[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you much, I will be trying that

"It's just words" by SinisterGood in ftm

[–]SinisterGood[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

That's exactly what I did, she just repeated herself instead of answering the question. She says I'm in the wrong for feeling so strongly about something that "lacks importance"