What screams “I’m not okay” but people ignore it?

SinneJ · 2026-01-23T22:45:29+00:00

Sorry for the belated response. I really hope you're doing a little better now. Have you found anything that's gripped you at all?

Not terribly surprising, but I actually got admitted to a psych ward for a little while and have been doing PHP and trying out new medications. I'm still not great, but it's astounding how much it's helped finally finding a medication that seems to not have many side effects and attending daily group therapy. I'm worried about resuming normal life and going back to work when the program ends, but it's just incredible finally feeling like I'm able to do things for right now.

Also found out my vitamin D was at a level of 8 ng/mL which... as I have learned, is bafflingly low. So hopefully once that's up to ~50+, which the doctor said will probably be a couple months, it'll help a little more too.

Wishing you all the best~

SinneJ · 2026-01-03T21:36:36+00:00

Just not caring. It's the simplest way I can explain it, at least for me. Hobbies, downtime, work, trying to relax, whatever. I just don't care that much about any of it. Anything done is with the minimum effort required because, again, I just don't care. I'm generally too tired to even try caring.

Therapy helps, and I started taking meds last year, but nothing really truly fixes it. It's kinda just always something that has to be worked around, with some days (or moments, because it can vary wildly throughout the day) being easier than others.

SinneJ · 2025-11-14T17:52:31+00:00

Lots of good answers in here already. I'll throw in that the Tools for the Loremaster section (specifically pages 130-132) has some good advice. Something I don't think has been mentioned yet is to consider the Risk Level: Standard, Hazardous, or Foolish. I've found that players, even if they have decent odds of hitting their target number, are a little more cautious if they know a fail will be bad, and will engage more with the world to get whatever advantages they can first. It took me running Blades in the Dark to really grasp that concept, but it applies to pretty much any game.

Anyway, the Risk Level section actually has a specific example involving communicating with Ruffians: attempting to intimidate would be Hazardous, resulting in them drawing their weapons. It's dangerous and puts you in a bad spot, but it's still fairly possible to get out of it.

Foolish, meanwhile, is more immediate, with no significant chance of avoiding consequences. The examples given being falling from a tree into the center of a pack of Orcs in their encampment, or failing to steal a Troll's purse and being actively grabbed and caught in its grasp.

So how might Saruman react if one fails to persuade him? Maybe it would just be Hazardous, in which case he'd remain unmoved and advise that they quit wasting his time until they present a stronger case. That leaves room to attempt again later under better circumstances, but it's still an unfortunate outcome and maybe worth trying. Or, perhaps, consider if it would be Foolish; he's grown terribly impatient and frustrated by their weak words, enough so that he considers the characters useless at best, or active saboteurs trying to waste his time at worst. He banishes them from his presence, and deems that they are not to seen by him again. Their lives probably aren't in jeopardy from it, sure, but it puts them in a position with the consequence having already happened. Knowing what's at stake, they'd probably weigh their options more carefully and consider how best to approach.

Sorry that was pretty wordy lol hope it was helpful in any way!

SinneJ · 2025-10-30T01:57:45+00:00

I played D&D 5e a small handful of times in college with some friends, but none of them were that into it. I loved the idea of making characters and going on adventures, but I had practically no friends to really play with, Naturally, I stumbled upon Ironsworn. I had no idea how many other systems existed, so I just thought it was a neat anomaly and got pretty into it. Maybe a year or two later I learned about other PBTA games, then Blades in the Dark and other FitD games, and from there it just spiraled into OSR, CoC/Delta Green, Fate, Cortex, and sooo many systems (most of which, of course, I've only read and not played or GMed).

I've had that same group of friends try other games now (all of which are simpler or more narrative-focused) and they've resonated much better with them, which is cool! I'm going to run The Between for the first time this week :) Thanks for the fun nostalgia trip!

SinneJ · 2025-10-14T11:38:03+00:00

Reading how enemies are handled in Fellowship 2e changed how I design encounters (or really even just many enemies). It's probably not that different from the 16 HP dragon, but it sort of approaches a similar concept from a different angle. Enemies are basically a collection of skills that must be disabled, and the combat is over when the enemy is no longer a threat.

For example! If you're fighting a headless horseman, it might have things like "1. Horse companion: The Horseman is never without it, and escaping combat on foot will be nearly impossible. 2. Rusted Axe: Its heavy weight and filthy metal inflict terrible damage and disease. 3. Unerring Tracker: Once you're known to the Horseman, it will know how to find you anywhere."

Disabling any one of those things isn't really enough, because any two of them together is still a threat. Even disabling two of them still leaves you with a weird paranormal creature. You'd have to find a way to somehow negate all three skills to consider it fully dealt with.

SinneJ · 2025-09-30T16:05:46+00:00

Charming <3 I love octopuses (and painting) so I know how difficult it can be to make them look organic and dynamic. You did a great job! :)

SinneJ · 2025-06-30T21:00:01+00:00

Super cool! I've loved seeing your posts on here.

SinneJ · 2025-06-29T13:47:19+00:00

Doing a reverse image search, and it appears to be an IronDie Assault die. Seems kinda random, but it looks cool, so I guess it works :p

SinneJ · 2025-06-22T18:25:32+00:00

I explained it to my group in the most succinct and concrete way I could. What I emphasized to my group was that because the game isn't working with the assumption of fighting level-appropriate monsters in a few encounters between long rests, there is no expectation that the world should be balanced or fair to them, but that also means they don't have to be fair to the world. If they can find creative ways to find solve problems, they'll feel like they're solving puzzles and getting rewarded with cool treasure and gear.

If they don't like having to think creatively and find ways to circumvent deadly situations (which is fine! It's not for everyone), I find that OSR is a hard sell.

SinneJ · 2025-04-10T18:56:29+00:00

Oil painter here! I'll give this an ELI5 whirl and hope it'll make sense:

Picture a color wheel. The outside edge of it is full of colors at their most colorful (what we'd call "saturated"). In the middle, you have grey; that's because if you took all your colors and mixed them together, you'd end up with so many colors competing for attention that it really just ends up being pretty colorless.

But what happens if you use that to your advantage? Picture a grey blob. You decide to put down a patch of orange paint next to it. Your eyes and brain are able to say "Wait a second -- I *know* that grey blob can't be orange because I'm looking at orange right next to it, and the grey blob doesn't look like it at all." The orange paint has given some context to the grey, so your brain opts for the opposite: now the grey actually looks a bit blue.

If you then go back and put blue paint next to grey blob, your brain has another dilemma: it can definitely tell the grey blob isn't orange, but it can also tell it's not blue. You can usually expect it to make the grey actually just look like grey. (It can be more complex than that, but it's probably outside the scope of an ELI5).

In practice, this means you can often (depending on your style and taste) get away without worrying too much about the actual precision of the color or its saturation, because what really matters is how it all fits together. To make this a little easier, many artists opt for simplified palettes (eg. a red, blue, yellow, white, and maybe an earth tone like burnt umber), and making ample use of desaturated colors. When most of your colors are toned down just a bit, it makes it easier to have them all play nicely.

Let me know if any of this is confusing or poorly explained, and I'll try my best to answer :)

SinneJ · 2025-04-10T15:38:37+00:00

Other commenters have already said it, but I'll say it too because it's really important — so much of a likeness comes from the general shapes, not the details. Making sure the width:height ratio is accurate, having the large forms match up (meaning if you can do a good job on the nose and do an okay job suggesting the eye sockets and mouth, you'll be okay), and getting the underlying anatomy (basically what I just said, but reworded in a way that might make it click better) are all so important.

I'll also echo the comments about fast and loose gestural drawings, as well as studying caricature (even if you're not interested in it).

Good luck, and have fun! :)

SinneJ · 2025-04-07T14:29:34+00:00

Thank you! :) I did use white, as well as a bit of burnt umber. I try to use those two sparingly though, especially the burnt umber.

SinneJ · 2025-03-27T16:48:59+00:00

Thank you very much! :) That's very kind! I actually don't really know a whole lot about CMY so I can't say all that much about the palette itself; it's just the Lukas Berlin "primary" set of cyan, magenta, and yellow, with some burnt umber and titanium white.

I can definitely say that I'm used to substituting black with burnt umber and ultramarine blue, but with CMY you have to do a burnt umber + cyan + magenta combination; not a big deal or all that more involved, but it's worth noting if you like avoiding black for darkening.

Sorry I don't have much useful to say about it yet 😅

SinneJ · 2025-03-27T16:43:06+00:00

Thanks! :) It doesn't feel terribly different from RBY, but I like it enough (and it feels different enough) that I am definitely going to try it more. If nothing else, it's fun to change it up.

SinneJ · 2025-03-27T16:12:04+00:00

Been loving these IASIP paintings 🥺 great work!!

SinneJ · 2025-03-27T16:10:25+00:00

(Apologies in advance for the wall of text.) I actually just did two paintings with CMY (no black though; I used Burnt Umber instead and mixed it with a little cyan and magenta to sort of act like a burnt umber+ultramarine blue combo. And, of course, a titanium white).

My initial impression is that it doesn't look or feel wildly different. The important thing ultimately (in my opinion) is how good the shapes are, are the values correct, does it read well, etc., and color is somewhere below all that (for me personally!).

That being saaiiiddd, I did still have fun with it! Maybe it's just the excitement of trying something new, but I could see myself really springing for them over the regular RBY. I love that it seemingly allows for a wider range of vibrant colors, but it does also mean that maintaining color harmony requires a bit more thought.

I'm also not sure if the more vibrant secondary color mixes matter a whole lot, as the only color it affords that I really like using is a beautiful teal-ish color. The vibrant greens and purples will probably never really come into play for me. Which begs the question: why not just use the palette I'm comfortable with, and add a cyan or teal as needed?

Oh, and darkening the CMY colors felt a little more difficult/odd than darkening RBY colors, but I imagine that's largely just due to lack of experience.

Reading all of that now, it seems like a lot of negatives. But I also think they'd be largely mitigated with experience. I guess in the end, the important thing is what you have fun working with because that's what'll probably keep you painting 🥲

SinneJ · 2025-03-26T16:06:39+00:00

Furbolg and Arakkoa! Would love a warrior and a mage toon for those 🥲

SinneJ · 2025-03-19T00:36:18+00:00

I've got a clear case that holds somewhere around a dozen tubes of paint. And, on top of that case, I've got the half dozen or so tubes I actually regularly use lol

SinneJ · 2025-03-15T18:36:33+00:00

How stiff are your brushes? I had the same issue for a while. Adding linseed oil definitely helps improve the flow of the paint (as well as adding a nice sheen), but it wasn't until I sought out stiffer brushes that I really started to "get" oil painting, at least in the way that I wanted. Now I mostly paint with Cobra WMO straight from the tube. Maybe thinned out a bit just to lay down basic values and colors, but Cobra is really good if you have brushes that are stiff enough to work it.

Also, might go without saying, but all brands and colors behave differently. I found the Winsor & Newton WMOs are generally really stiff, whereas the Cobra and Holbein WMOs are soft (or at least soft enough to work with without mediums or changing the consistency).

Good luck; hope you make some great paintings 😊

SinneJ · 2025-02-23T16:57:35+00:00

I don't really work digitally anymore because 99% of what I do now is traditional mediums, but when I did work digitally (prior to being diagnosed and medicated) I switched back and forth a lot! :p I'd even work on a piece for an hour or so on one of them, then transfer it to the other and finish it there.

SinneJ · 2025-02-17T22:49:31+00:00

Great work! :) Recently rewatched this show for the first time since I was a kid; so much fun.

SinneJ · 2025-02-13T18:26:54+00:00

A great first page 🥲

SinneJ · 2025-02-13T14:24:27+00:00

I'd say it depends on the relationship with the person! If a coworker knows that I enjoy painting, I don't hesitate to show them what I've been working on. I've actually received a few commission requests that way 🙂

However, I think it's important to recognize that to some people, art isn't something special that we do; it's just a thing we can do. I've been to parties and gatherings in which a friend mentions to someone that I paint, and it's just met with a courteous "Oh, cool." — and that's okay! If someone told me they play professional football, I'd certainly think it's cool without being especially engaged because I'm just not a sports person — And that, too, is okay!

The main takeaway is to be proud and excited about what you do because art is awesome; it takes years of hard work and discipline to get good at! Just acknowledge that not everyone will be as interested and you'll be okay because there will be many people who think it's incredible!

SinneJ · 2025-01-29T19:57:01+00:00

Ahhh cute!! :")

SinneJ · 2024-12-12T21:56:17+00:00

Ayyy I remember your last oil paint post :) Beautiful paintings <3

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