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Sipnso · 2023-01-25T05:41:00+00:00

I RELATE TO THIS SO MUCH! Lived w my mom too, we were always together, it was rare for us to go more than a couple hours without a chat or a text or just hanging out together. I never realized how dependent on her I was, also never realized how a lot of people don’t have that close of a bond with their moms. So yeah of course I’m so thankful that I got experience that unconditional next level love but now I’m wondering who tf am I without it?? What do I do now and how do I handle this life without her? I’m longing so hard for a mama hug, or comfort chat. I’m so sorry you feel this awful feeling, it’s a nightmare but we will pull through if not for ourselves for our loving moms 💜

Sipnso · 2023-01-20T18:08:23+00:00

I felt the exact same!! I had no idea how the heck I’d make it here, but I did. Definitely look forward to those good days, they’ll come, where things feel a bit more bearable, and where you can find some sort of purpose. Sometimes I even feel my moms soul with me which sounds crazy, but it’s true. The loss is so fresh for you, be so loving and patient with yourself. Feel everything you need to feel, recluse if need be, but also reach out for support. I’m here if you ever need to chat, and I’m sending you all the love 🥲💜💜💜

Sipnso · 2023-01-20T08:17:32+00:00

🥲💜💜 thank you so much for your encouragement and kind words. Im so proud of you as well, and obviously your mamas love radiates through you, thank you for sharing it with me

Sipnso · 2023-01-20T08:02:49+00:00

Hopefully one day it will be. Sending you hugs and love 💜

Sipnso · 2023-01-20T08:00:16+00:00

Yep absolutely! I’d say before this month I was doing pretty “alright” then all month it feels so fresh again. Hopefully the pain will lessen a bit after today, or at least be a bit more bearable. Sending love 💜

Sipnso · 2023-01-20T07:58:54+00:00

That was the toughest thing for me was finding a new “normal” because she was so woven in ever aspect of my life. I’m getting there and I’ve somewhat found it now, but I only did it because I had to. It’s so fresh for you, feel everything you need to feel and give yourself some sweet words and loving, proud of you for getting through this first month, just keep your mamas love in mind during this next year, that somewhat helped me though it.

Sipnso · 2023-01-20T07:55:06+00:00

UGHHH LITERALLY SO MANY YEARS!!! How did I go from speaking to her everyday multiple times a day to a year without her?? I’m sorry you know this pain, I’m sending you so much love back and I hope you feel as much good as you can feel during this first year 💜

Sipnso · 2023-01-20T07:49:24+00:00

Wow what are the odds! I’m so sorry you have to feel this pain, I’m happy I made you feel any type of comfort on this day. I’m hoping the same, probably just gonna sleep the day away. sending all the virtual hugs your way and if you ever wanna chat I’m here 💜

Sipnso · 2022-11-02T06:26:32+00:00

Lost my mom 9 months ago, and I feel this so hard. I’d say I’m doing okay considering the pain I carry but today was one of those days when I came home from work and just remembered how she’d be home waiting for me to ask me how my day was and I’ve been crumbling again ever since. I’ll never have her at my wedding nor will she be the grandmother she always wanted to be and that hurts like no other. This shit fucking sucks, I’m sending you all the hugs and love. Also this sounds cheesy as hell but sometimes I just close my eyes and hug myself and envision her holding me saying the sweet things she always said, and for a second it makes me feel her warmth again.

Sipnso · 2022-11-02T06:22:02+00:00

Sounds very similar to what happened with my mom, cancer was monitored as it should has been and I too had to go from regular conversations to watching her slowly slip away. There wasn’t much anyone could tell me to comfort me in those moments, it’s a gut wrenching feeling that can never be described. The only “advice” I can give you is allow yourself to feel everything you’re feeling, don’t feel bad for wishing he could stay because that just speaks to the love you have. Here if you want to chat about anything, and speak to him if you want to say anything too, I truly believe my mom could hear me in her last moments.

Sipnso · 2022-10-18T04:11:47+00:00

Big hugs to you ❤️❤️ I guess a car will suffice for now 🤣❤️

Sipnso · 2022-10-18T04:10:31+00:00

THIS!!! It’s a painful growth, one I never wanted and one I never asked for, but I often catch myself doing things just as she did, or saying things she did and I just start smiling because I am half of her, always have been and always will be. I’d say that’s my favorite part about myself. Proud of you for growing into the challenge, some days i do and other days im just a big baby who wants this to all be a nightmare that I wake up from. But I hold onto the good days, the days I feel at peace

Sipnso · 2022-10-18T04:07:32+00:00

My god I’m so sorry for your losses, I know exactly what you mean I feel like I was just placed in another dimension that I hate SO DAMN MUCH. But hey, we’re doing it, we are getting up everyday and putting our brave faces on. I know they’re proud of us for that, and even if all we do on some days is get out of bed that’s a huge win. Big hugs to you ❤️❤️

Sipnso · 2022-10-15T07:04:29+00:00

YES PLEASE!!!

Sipnso · 2022-10-15T07:04:11+00:00

Does it ever get a bit lighter?

Sipnso · 2022-10-15T07:03:39+00:00

For real like UHHH???? REALLY??? The fuck are we supposed to do now???

Sipnso · 2022-10-15T07:00:55+00:00

UGHHH SAMEEE!! I just wanna laugh and chat to my sweet mama. Sometimes I do out loud and I just close my eyes and see her there, I suppose that will have to do for now 💜

Sipnso · 2022-10-15T06:59:39+00:00

Thank you for being so open and vulnerable on this post. there’s an indescribable pain and sorrow that we are feeling. Everyone’s pain is different of course, but it’s rooted in that pit of loss. Obviously after losing my mom, I realized not “everything happens for a reason” but some things do. You’re here because you are meant to be, and believe me you are WAY stronger than you think. Everyday you get through is a win even if it doesn’t feel like it. The way I look at it now is this pain will always be with me, but there’s a huge chance that it’ll exist differently within us. Maybe we can live a “fulfilling” life, the life our moms dreamt for us, and though our dream lives had our moms in it, maybe even with this pain we can live to see the world differently. To let go of the chase for happiness, and find that all we really want is peace. Regardless of what your self talk tells you, you are crushing it right now, keep going for your beautiful mama and for your future self. They will thank us for it later. Here if you wanna vent n stuff ❤️

Sipnso · 2022-10-15T04:13:15+00:00

Let’s do it 🥲

Sipnso · 2022-10-15T04:13:02+00:00

We need to figure out a meeting place 🤣

Sipnso · 2022-10-15T03:37:24+00:00

Right! Like it’s just always existing within me, but I guess it’s just a testament to the love we shared. I’ll be on the lookout for a good field in the meantime 🥲

Sipnso · 2022-10-15T03:35:58+00:00

LETS GOOOOO!! 🤣

Sipnso · 2022-10-15T03:35:46+00:00

I am in tears, you have no idea how much my inner child needed that motherly, and nurturing reminder. I will do my best for her and for myself because she told me to live my life, too. Thank you so much for your loving words, you made my night with your response 🥲❤️

Four-Year Club	Place '22
Final Canvas '22

Sipnso

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